Tuesday, 25 October 2011

Tuesday Titters

   Morning all,

A dry start today after heavy overnight rain......

Watched the Seagulls lose to the Hammers as well...

Michael...You deserved to win,as Brighton were crap..

Well today taking down the shed today,so moggies won't be happy.....need to do it as its falling down anyway..

Elise..XX...sorry to hear about yer wall problems .....

what with everything else,you don't need this.....

BEV...XX......Best wishes with the Op.......

What happened........suddenly its gone small on me.......nothing new then.!!......Grrrrrrr

HAVE A GREAT DAY WHATEVER YOU DO

Little 'big' indulgence............. 

For George......   

 

 

39 comments:

  1. Howdy John.

    Yep.. did you southcoasters like your little footballing masterclass?

    Good job Big Sam took pity and told the boys to go easy on Gus's lads! LMAO

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  2. ...What's ya problem ....E.D. back? lol

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  3. One word..........Zoladex........life saver it is,but.............side effects are enormous......ummmm belittling tis a better word.... LOL..........
    Big Sam is a right character........Need a Harry to shake the Seagulls up.....thats 7 games now without a win.....

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  4. (Whoops .. too late to scratch that one out. Guess we're just a bunch of little tinklers anyway)(lmao)

    No need for that kind of language John

    Harry for England . Gus is doing good enough for Brighton

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  5. Morning Bollockeers xx ROFLMAO John ! xx George has that problem all the time, or so he says !! LMAO !! Wall slowly leaning over a bit more this morning.......Any brickies or stone masons out there ??!! xx

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  6. I send my mate...

    What caused that Elise?..xx..newish wall ain't it...!!!

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  7. Must be wind. (previous night's curry?)

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  8. Thanks John xx ! The wall has been part rebuilt, however, the section which collapsed was the original wall, dating back some 100 or so years. Mainly dry stone walling around here [like Cornwall and Devon] We left it, as it really was a beautiful piece of workmanship. However, we have had SO MUCH HEAVY RAIN in the last few weeks, it was just too much for the old thing to cope with. It obviously started bowing outwards towards the road, and yesterday collapsed. The rest of the wall is now bowing outwards, and appears to be a few degrees more than yesterday. Any truck or tractor now heading up the hill could set the rest crashing down.
    James dad will be over today sometime to see if he can make it any safer for now, but it will need a JCB up here to clear the wall back completely now. We are thinking of replacing with a stone and turf wall, as that would be in keeping with the rest. Blimey !! Talk about things happening in 3s.....Do I not have enough to worry about ??!! xx

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  9. Hi Elise. Did you have windows in the wall and did you have shutters on them? Shutters can be awful things and can lead to all sorts of problems such as collapsing walls perhaps but more likely the biggest danger is people choking to death with laughter when they spot them on your house . I always recommend getting shot of them but despite that someone on here completely ignores my advise and still has them firmly attached to his walls. Don't you George!

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  10. Hi Roger xx No, this is the wall running part length of the garden, alongside the road. This would have been the original boundary wall, way back when God was a boy ! I am uploading some photos onto PB and will put on here so you can see what I mean xx You cannot tell George ANYTHING !!! He always knows best eh ??!! xx Luckily, there was no crashes while we were all out yesterday, the last thing I need right now is a 'Public Liability' case.... xx

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  11. The debris was part way onto the road when I got home. James cleared the rest of the bigger boulders, and put up the builders fence on our side to keep the kids off the rest of the wall. There is quite a tilt to it, and could go at any time now xx

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  12. Hi guys, hope you get the wall fixed Elise, no fun. Can you imagine the guys helping... flip you would be better to get Bob the builder as he can fix it!

    My old man is out this morning to the local probus club. I have a couple of hours peace. Bliss.

    Making pumpkin soup this morning and squash curry, I live an exciting life!!!

    Be good my lovelies

    xxx

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  13. Elise, sorry to hear about your wall problem.

    Shall I send over a worker with one of my shovels to help you?
    She's good I know, she helps me to erect things in times of need!!

    Good Luck

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  14. ha ha ha ! good one Mike xx I am certain James would appreciate the help !! xx

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  15. OMG OMG OMG!!!!

    Elise? You're always trying to go one better, aren't you? Duh!

    FFS! I only SCRAPED my drive wall!!

    LMAO...I gotta hand it to you (again)...that's a stupendous stunt. I bow to your prowess my Lil' Duck.



    Geeeezus, you looked glassy eyed! I hope you got out before the cops arrived, lol


    Take up Mike's offer of his shovel girl. She is amazing!

    Did you see how she helped him transform his small insertion into a HUGE erection yesterday?? (more on that later...).

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  16. ha ha ha ha ha George xx So happy that I amuse you xx

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  17. Looks like typical goat damage to me! Several hundred of tubes of Araldite are on there way as we speak.

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  18. Cheers Rog xx hope it stays sunny then eh ?! xx

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  19. Yes you do have sun don't yer?......
    Bit of a mess eh......Luv to help Elise.xx...but my poor poor back these days..
    Just dismantling a shed but even thats an effort............waiting for Val to get home.......LOL
    I highly recommend these boys who rebuilt my garden wall last year....

    & three of them know George.....pmsl

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  20. AND THREE OF THEM ARE GEORDIES!



    You can't get better than that, Elise, LMAO.

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  21. LMAO Loved that show ! Auf Wiedersen Bollockeers maybe ? xx

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  22. And from Bill in Thailand.....




    Good Afternoon!!!



    An old guy named Peter goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor who says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say 99.”

    The old guy obeys and says,"99.”

    The doctor says, "Great, now turn over on your left side and again, while I repeat the check, take a deep breath and say 99."

    Again the old guy says, “99."

    The doctor said, "That’s very good. Now then, this time I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say 99."

    The old guy begins, "One……………Two…………Three……………Four……………………………………………………………."

    You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing!!!

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  23. George me darlin you posted the same joke last week and it was from Bill!!!

    b

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  24. George keeps having 'senior moments' Bev.....but as he is 'senior' he don't remember 'em !!! ROFLMAO !!!!!! Love ya George ! xxxxxxxx

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  25. George has finally lost it! George has finally lost it!

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  26. ....Pity he can't remember where he put it Roger !! ROFLMAO !!!!!! xx

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  27. !!!!! Sorry George, somethings a girl just cannot resist!!!

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  28. this is Ian, there will be trouble tonight. Her ladyship is making flowers and sticking very small beads to the petals, no problems I hear you say as its keeping her quiet.True but she is crafting in our bed. If I get beads and glue in the difficult places there will be trouble!!

    Save me guys

    Ian
















































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  29. OK OK OK.....

    Lay off it....Did I ever say I WASN'T speeding headlong into senility?? LOL






    Here's a good 'un from MARK:



    One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jim says to Mike behind him,'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'

    Listen mate ; don't waste your time down at the surgery, Mike replies.

    There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points as well!'.

    So Jim collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:




    'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks'.

    That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jim began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for good measure. Jim hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen.


    He deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin. The computer prints the following:



    1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

    2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

    3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

    5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....

    Thank you for shopping at Tesco



    And from me to Roger..SHADDUP about my shutters:

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  30. This is what George did to me Roger....be afraid....VERY afraid !!

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  31. Hey Elise, Bev, Sheena.............all you girls.......take a look at what I found on YouTube (John & Michael look away now):


    MIKE after his amazing, lovely shovely girl got to work on him:




    Please don't search for the URL if you're easily shocked!

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  32. Well my lovelies I must leave you until tomorrow as I am off to the theatre with the old man. Going to see we Will Rock You. Time to put on the channel and slap!

    Have a lovely evening

    me and him

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  33. & you two as well.......Rock on.!!



    "IT'S BEHIND YOU".!!.............

    pmsl


    In an attempt to reduce 'red meat intake' for us PCa sufferers
    i have gained significant support...


    Finally come on 'The Shots'.........you can beat Man U's tonight in the Carling Cup........

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  34. Oi Lil Duck? i just LURVE the way you have a duck cartoon response for everything I chuck at ya! LMAO



    Hey Bev...Enjoy the theatre (I love Queen music........I said QUEEN, Elise! lol)


    Here's one act you won't be seeing on stage tonight...

    Direct from Teesside..





    ROY CHUBBY BROWN....


    And here's a non-pc joke to go with his pic.... (Thanks Pauline!)



    Parvinder and Habib are street beggars. They beg in different areas of London

    Habib begs just as long as Parvinder but
    only collects £2 to £3 every day.



    Parvinder brings
    home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.



    Habib says to Parvinder 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

    Parvinder says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

    Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.


    Parvinder says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3.'



    Habib says, 'So what does your sign say'?

    Parvinder shows Habib his sign.



    It reads, " I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan .."

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  35. Blimey George, you actually do have good taste after all !! I saw Queen at Wembley, 1986, pure magic xx

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  36. Fellow members of George's shutters appreciation society with their latest discovery. Note the gloved hands to prevent damaging the delicate paintwork. George introduced the "gloved hand" rule following an unfortunate incident where he stroked the surface of his own shutters too vigorously!

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  37. Sending my mates over to you Rog....Don't worry, they are REALLY nice, and wear spotless white coats......I told them it was an emergency...... PMSL !! xx

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  38. OMG. I'll be hanging garlic everywhere!

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