Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what in hell d'yis t'ink yer doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....
Paddy says to Mick, "Jeez, I'm ready for me holiday . but this year I' m going to do it a bit different. Three years ago I went to Spain - and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy - and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca - and again Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?"
The largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK ?"
Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived.
He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested... All coloured with Union Jacks with small writing on each one:
Hey George xx How come Michaels invite [mickter] is still on the page and not gone ? He has accepted the invite, and yet Multiply hasnt updated.....WTF ?? xx
George xx Am replying on here, as I don't want to get shot down on PCC......you know what I mean......
The current BNF states the following :-
Pneumonia revaccination.......In individuals with higher concentrations of antibodies to Pneumococcal Polysaccharides revaccination with the 23 valent pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine more commonly produces adverse reactions. Revaccination is therefore not recommended EXCEPT every 5 years in individuals whom the antibody concentration is likely to decline rapidly. If there is doubt, the need for revaccination should be discussed with a Haemotologist, Immunologist or Microbiologist.
Examples of groups at higher risk include the following:-
* Age over 65 years * Splenic Dysfunction [sickle cell] * Chronic Respiratory Disease, Asthma, frequent use of Corticosteroids. * Chronic Heart Disease * Chronic Liver Disease * Diabetes Mellitus, both Insulin and oral medications. * Immune deficiency because of disease [HIV] * Presence of cochlear implant * Conditions where leakage of Cerebrospinal fluid may occur * Children under 5 years with a history of invasive pneumococcal disease.
Thanks Elise. That is more or less what the USA Govt website says too. I think there were two types of the vaccination - 17(?) & 23 valent. We'd need to know what type we had done, for a start.
Also, I wonder if an oncologist would know if his patient is someone in whom 'the antibody concentration is likely to decline rapidly' ?
I somehow doubt that.....and hey, I collect 'ologists', so I'll start looking for my local Haemotologists, Immunologists or Microbiologists. LOL
One last thing.... In 'Examples of groups at higher risk '.............What does that mean?
....Higher risk if REVACCINATED or .....Higher risk of pneumonia in the first place...so should have the initial pneumonia jab?
George xx Adults normally have the 23 valent vaccine. 17 I think is USA, 13 used here for children [UK & Europe]
If you are on long term steroids, have chronic chest problems, asthma, or Diabetes, Chemo also comes into this category Guys, then you fall into the 'at risk' category George. That is, high risk of DEVELOPING PNEUMONIA. It should be easy enough for your GP to send a blood sample to check your antibody status, if he is in any doubt about it. Otherwise, its a 5 year revaccination programme. Good luck with the 'ologists' ! xx
Elise..xx....i had pneumonia 10 years ago which put me in hossy,& recent scans showed 2 very small nodes on lung........Do you think i should insist on it......& chemo pending to,if R.T. doesn't work.???
John xx Check with GP, and check your antibody status, however, I would have thought that you could have a revaccination. Not been repeated for you within a 5 year period, so over due now xx Good luck xx
George ? PB have randomly selected me again......PMSL ! xx
No fancy pictures or jokes from me but am so pleased to be a member and would never miss a day without checking in. Just love the banter pictures and jokes between you all. Happy 5th Birthday to B2PCa. Sheena xx
Thanks Elise...xx...Will take that advice up.........Pneumonia scares me no end..!!!!!!
Sheena,.....xx......Thanks from me to.....we need to keep the fun going for all those passed on who enjoyed this site.. . I knew of Phil & Alex,but no doubt others to i didn't know have left us in the last 5 years....Bless them all..... . BTW.... Chris well done on posting a pic ..........knew you would....
Happy Birthday Bollockeers !!!!
ReplyDeleteWOW ! 5 years old....Now we can REALLY get into trouble ! PMSL !! Some goodies from the B2PCA Photo Album for you ! xx
George, celebrating a rare Sunderland win ! ROFLMAO !
Lil' Duck after a few too many Balvenie's ! xx
Take time to celebrate the day with us .... !
....and remember to keep the Sheep away from George !! ROFLMAO ! xx
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FELLOW BOLLOCKEERS.
ReplyDeleteCONGRATULATIONS TO GEORGE and our beloved late PHIL for having the foresight to produce this SITE, that is helping so many other people. THANK YOU.
ReplyDelete5 years, where has that time gone?
ReplyDeleteGeorge, thanks for this site, it has helped so many.
Memory time of friends who have left us and lets look forward to the next 5 years.
Mike
Happy BIRTHDAY from me
ReplyDeleteThanks to George for inviting me onboard nearly a year ago......
Here's to fun in memory of our Phil....
Have a goodun all & raise a glass (later)
I am certain that Big Guy is with us all xx
ReplyDeleteYou bet he is!
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for continuing to keep the fun going, year after year ;)
Loved the cakes, and I'm sure Elise supplied those:
Please don't mention SHEEP on these pages,
I'm over my obsession with pretty sheep, but Mike isn't!!
Do you know...He's actually in Majorca with his favourite (Baaabara) right now, and Kath thinks he's in Germany on a business trip!!
Another from Pauline (Hey Elise?...Is life in Ireland really like this??)
ReplyDeleteJoe says to Paddy, "Close your curtains the next time you're sha**ing your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
_________________________________________________________________
Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing with himself in front of a tractor. Mick says, "Jaysus Paddy, what in hell d'yis t'ink yer doing?"
Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom lately and the therapist recommended I do something sexy to attracter.....
_________________________________________________________________
The Irish have solved their fuel problems. They've imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and are going to drill for their own oil.
_________________________________________________________________
Paddy says to Mick, "Jeez, I'm ready for me holiday . but this year I' m going to do it a bit different. Three years ago I went to Spain - and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy - and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca - and again Mary got pregnant."
Mick asks, "So what are you going to do this year?"
Paddy replies, "Oi think Oi'll take her wid me!"
_________________________________________________________________
Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year" ...
Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
_________________________________________________________________
Paddy and Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station.
Mick says, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
_________________________________________________________________
Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?"
Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
PROUD TO BE BRITISH !!!!
ReplyDeleteThe largest condom factory in the States burned down. President Obama was awakened at 4 am by the telephone.
"Sorry to bother you at this hour, Sir, but there is an emergency! I've just received word that the Durex factory in Washington has burned to the ground. It is estimated that the entire USA supply of condoms will be used up by the end of the week."
Obama: "Oh damn! The economy will never be able to cope with all those unwanted babies. We'll be ruined. We'll have to ship some in from Mexico ."
Telephone voice says, "Bad idea... The Mexicans will have a field day with this one. We'll be a laughing stock. What about the UK ?"
Obama: "Okay, I'll call Cameron and tell him we need five million condoms, ten inches long and three inches thick. That way, they'll continue to respect us as Americans."
Three days later, a delighted President Obama ran out to open the first of the 10,000 boxes that had just arrived.
He found it full of condoms, 10 inches long and 3 inches thick, exactly as requested... All coloured with Union Jacks with small writing on each one:
MADE IN ENGLAND - SIZE: SMALL
Way to go!!!!!!!!!
Yes George.....just the same ! You just gotta go with the flow and enjoy the craic ! ROFLMAO ! xx
ReplyDeleteHey George xx How come Michaels invite [mickter] is still on the page and not gone ? He has accepted the invite, and yet Multiply hasnt updated.....WTF ?? xx
ReplyDeleteI think I'd be quite at home in Ireland......my tired old brain would feel it was amongst friends! lol
ReplyDeleteMichael is definitely on the list as a member....and I've given up trying to understand the logic behind Multiply.
Hey, I think Pauline must have it in for the Irish today!....here's another one (and I LOVE THIS):
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The clerk asks, "Are you Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am.. But let me ask you something.
“If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The clerk replied, "Because you're in Halfords."
ha ha ha ha ha ! Good one ! xx
ReplyDeleteYou would find the pace of life here suits you George xx
George xx Am replying on here, as I don't want to get shot down on PCC......you know what I mean......
ReplyDeleteThe current BNF states the following :-
Pneumonia revaccination.......In individuals with higher concentrations of antibodies to Pneumococcal Polysaccharides revaccination with the 23 valent pneumococcal polysaccharide vaccine more commonly produces adverse reactions. Revaccination is therefore not recommended EXCEPT every 5 years in individuals whom the antibody concentration is likely to decline rapidly. If there is doubt, the need for revaccination should be discussed with a Haemotologist, Immunologist or Microbiologist.
Examples of groups at higher risk include the following:-
* Age over 65 years
* Splenic Dysfunction [sickle cell]
* Chronic Respiratory Disease, Asthma, frequent use of Corticosteroids.
* Chronic Heart Disease
* Chronic Liver Disease
* Diabetes Mellitus, both Insulin and oral medications.
* Immune deficiency because of disease [HIV]
* Presence of cochlear implant
* Conditions where leakage of Cerebrospinal fluid may occur
* Children under 5 years with a history of invasive pneumococcal disease.
Thanks Elise. That is more or less what the USA Govt website says too.
ReplyDeleteI think there were two types of the vaccination - 17(?) & 23 valent.
We'd need to know what type we had done, for a start.
Also, I wonder if an oncologist would know if his patient is someone in whom 'the antibody concentration is likely to decline rapidly' ?
I somehow doubt that.....and hey, I collect 'ologists', so I'll start looking for my local Haemotologists, Immunologists or Microbiologists. LOL
One last thing....
In 'Examples of groups at higher risk '.............What does that mean?
....Higher risk if REVACCINATED
or
.....Higher risk of pneumonia in the first place...so should have the initial pneumonia jab?
George xx Adults normally have the 23 valent vaccine. 17 I think is USA, 13 used here for children [UK & Europe]
ReplyDeleteIf you are on long term steroids, have chronic chest problems, asthma, or Diabetes, Chemo also comes into this category Guys, then you fall into the 'at risk' category George. That is, high risk of DEVELOPING PNEUMONIA. It should be easy enough for your GP to send a blood sample to check your antibody status, if he is in any doubt about it. Otherwise, its a 5 year revaccination programme. Good luck with the 'ologists' ! xx
Thanks once more Elise xxxxx
ReplyDeleteI have a GP appointment next week and I'll check it all out.
And thanks for that one Pauline.
(Guess who discovered one of Phil's secret suppliers, LMAO)
Elise..xx....i had pneumonia 10 years ago which put me in hossy,& recent scans showed 2 very small nodes on lung........Do you think i
ReplyDeleteshould insist on it......& chemo pending to,if R.T. doesn't work.???
Wondered where Phil got his jokes from George.!!
Sunshine here & in the 70's.....luvly dubbly...
John xx Check with GP, and check your antibody status, however, I would have thought that you could have a revaccination. Not been repeated for you within a 5 year period, so over due now xx Good luck xx
ReplyDeleteGeorge ? PB have randomly selected me again......PMSL ! xx
No fancy pictures or jokes from me but am so pleased to be a member and would never miss a day without checking in. Just love the banter pictures and jokes between you all.
ReplyDeleteHappy 5th Birthday to B2PCa.
Sheena xx
Thanks Elise...xx...Will take that advice up.........Pneumonia scares me no end..!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSheena,.....xx......Thanks from me to.....we need to keep the fun going for all those passed on who enjoyed this site.. .
I knew of Phil & Alex,but no doubt others to i didn't know have left us in the last 5 years....Bless them all.....
.
BTW.... Chris well done on posting a pic ..........knew you would....
My god I cant believe I have been hanging around you guys for nearly 5 years and still have all my marbles LOL x
ReplyDeleteJanet? Who says you still have all your marbles? That would be an impossibility!
ReplyDeleteYou're now as delusional as I am! LMAO