Morning all.....Bit windy,but a fine Saturday....
Hope your day goes well,& as you would like it...
Be shuffling furniture around this morning,& watching local footie safternoon....
Be goooooood all...
One from the locker.....
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.....
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled over to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up..........and all the other bells started to ring..!!!!!!
Good morning me darlins. I am going to be chained to the kitchen today as I need to cook meals for the next couple of months. Ian is going to be my little helper.
ReplyDeleteWill watch sky sports this afternoon for the footie and to gaze at Jeff Stelling!!
Looking forward to a cosy night in with Ian tonight.
Have a lovely day today, be good and have fun xx
here you are Bev...xx..
ReplyDeleteHope also your dads health is better today....Elise...xx...&
from me & Val.xx
Lovely day here in the Midlands.
ReplyDeleteKath at work (so ignoring the tasks she has left me).
Hope your Dad feels a little better Elise.
Going to local darby Aston Villa v West Brom today.
And tomorrow, going to see the start of the annual charity cycle in the park.
Here is a photo of last years event.
Life's not that bad after all!!
Mike
John, Mike, Grant. Ian, Keith, Rob, Michael, Chris..and even John in Durham...YOU MUST READ THIS:
ReplyDeleteBREAKING NEWS ....
To save the economy, on October30, 2011 the PM will announce that he is ordering the immigration department to start deporting old people
(instead of illegals) in order to lower Social Security and Healthcare costs.
Old people are easier to catch, and most will not remember how to get back home!
I started crying when I thought of you.
RUN, YOU OLD BUGGERS, RUN!!
Well..... Someone sent it to me and I'm not going alone.
Oh...and I forgot to mention Pauline....who I'm sure sent this to me! Run, you old tart, run!! lol
Heyyyyyyyyy Mike, you beat me to it with the your news of the charity bike ride. : (
ReplyDeleteThe South Shields one is being held today. The girls cycle to Middlesborough and back.
I tell ya, I was down on that pier at 9am sharp to take this photo.
Geeeez, I'm breathless now!! (Lynn says it's unheard of for me to run 5 miles to Shields and back...never mind getting up at 7.30am to do it!)
Morning George,
ReplyDeleteI found a stray parrot on my patio this morning but all he says is,
"Good morning you old fart."
Is he yours?
Oh, f***ing hell!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHe's mine alright Mike.
I got a mate to 'lose' him for me. Last I heard he was on a Cross Country train from Newcastle station!
He's the most obnoxious bird I've ever had (well....almost, lol)....and I DO NOT WANT HIM BACK!
Mark (Spurspark) was really moved by our thoughts on old age.
ReplyDeleteI've just recieived this touching email:
I hope this poem has the same effect on you as it did on me
and then my forwarding it will be worth the effort.
Walk with me by the water - worth the read...
A BEAUTIFUL POEM ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
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Bugger...I forgot the words....
Yep growing older brings its probs....
ReplyDeletelike forgetting to zip up the zipper......& forgetting names Dave
Btw was IT this poem ......
My Rememberer...
My forgetter's getting better
But my rememberer is broke
To you that may seem funny
But, to me, that is no joke
For when I'm 'here' I'm wondering
If I really should be 'there'
And, when I try to think it through,
I haven't got a prayer!
Often times I walk into a room,
Say "what am I here for?"
I wrack my brain, but all in vain
A zero, is my score...
At times I put something away
Where it is safe, but, Gee!
The person it is safest from
Is, generally, me!
When shopping I may see someone,
Say "Hi" and have a chat,
Then, when the person walks away
I ask myself, "who was that?"
Yes, my forgetter's getting better
While my rememberer is broke,
And it's driving me plumb crazy
And that isn't any joke.
Send this to everyone you know because I don't remember who sent it to me!
John, that's the perfect poem for me. I am speeding headlong into senility!!
ReplyDeleteMark must be in a really helpful mood this morning.
I'd never seen this alert, and I think we should applaud him for sending us the warning (THANKS A BUNCH MARKIE!):
I am only sending this to my friends, please pass it on to yours.
Although I know it’s too late for some of you, hopefully it will help others.
Urgent Beer Warning !!!
Hope this reaches you in time ...
There’s no cure.........once it’s gone, it’s gone !!!
I have obviously picked the right time to ask this question. I am making sausages and am not certain how big to make them. I have to roll them in my hands!
ReplyDeleteAny ideas!!
Use Ian's as a sausage mould. Easy peasy!
ReplyDeleteI presume your'e making those small 'party' sausage rolls???? lol
If I use Ian as a mould the meat will go a long way!!!
ReplyDeleteI am making pork, leek and prune sausages!!!
I've also made a couple of cakes. Ian lives dangeroulsy by saying I am being a good little wifey!!! Any one know the number of the nearest hospital!!!
Sounds scrumptious Bev...xx
ReplyDeleteWell oft to footie....catch all later..cheers.!
My postman is busy today.
ReplyDeleteJust got this card from Chris and Shirley, who're on a break in Penzance.
It says simply '"TO ALL THE BOLLOCKEERS......HELLO DAHLINKS"
OMG! They're 'Luvvies', staying in theatrical digs while doing an early panto!!! LMAO
Evening all XX frantic 24 hours here. Finally managed to get Dad admitted to his local hospice, for pain management. Fingers crossed they can sort him out. Finished my boys Combine cake too. It was very tricky, and is okay as a first attempt, but dont think I will do it again ! xx
ReplyDeleteElise....xx.....Your Dad will be in good hands for sure.......Wishing Ian & your Mom our very best wishes & all things crossed here...
ReplyDeleteAnother masterpiece of a design.
BTW.....Very good insertions George...re- Chris & Shirley....
AMAZING ELISE!!!! WAY TO GO LIL'DUCK
ReplyDeleteHey, did you ever meet DICK KING SMITH (yeah right, lol)
That's a marvellous job well done...and do you still have all your hair?? lol
Elise, it's excellent news that your dad has pain relief now at the hospice.
I'm surprised and delighted that he was admitted so fast.
Fingers crossed for a quick recovery and return to home
xxxxxx
Thanks John & George. Dad was admitted so quickly because I spoke directly to the on call Macmillan Nurse. I used my 'Nurse who will take no crap' tone of voice.....it has not let me down yet :-)) xx
ReplyDeleteUh oh....don't make her angry ..... you won't like her when she's angry!
ReplyDeleteThe Incredible Fleece strikes again.
Hoping you've better news tomoz.
Well done me duck x
Me ??....Get Angry ??....NEVER Michael !! ROFLMAO ! xx
ReplyDelete