Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,
been lashing down with rain here all night and still going,,at least my "fairy ring"at the bottom of the garden seems to have disappeared after applying "Anti ring fungus!"
(Morning George)
Successful "Crab mission"in Redcar yesterday,I was surprised just how easy it was to pick them up there!
,,,,,,,,,,
Hope your day isn't too damp ,,and you have a Good un'!
Cheers
Taxi Fare
One rainy spring night in Belfast, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley.
Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
'Where to?' he stammered.
'Falls Road,' answered the woman.
'OK,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the feck are you looking at?'
'Well lady ', replied the driver, 'I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver, pointed to her womanhood and said, 'Does THIS answer your question?'
Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Have you not got anything smaller?
Hey Phil,
ReplyDeleteExcuse the fishy pun, but Redcar was more like RED herring wasn't it?
You were nowhere near the place. In fact, you were at the Crab Fair in Egremont, Cumbria.
I saw you on BBC North TV news last night, amongst the throng celebrating the success of your old flame, Anne Woods.
Anne Woods, the female world gurning champion
Woman gains gurning title
The Female World Gurning Champion has finally been accepted into the Guinness Book of World Records as the planet's ugliest woman.
Published: 7:30AM GMT 03 Nov 2010
Anne Woods, who has been crowned winner of the Egremont Crab Fair, in Cumbria, 27 times, had previously failed to get a mention in the famous book.
This was despite male champion Tommy Mattinson being named in the annual for triumphing just 11 times.
But after Mrs Woods' latest success in September she will now join the ranks of other high achievers - as the woman able to pull the ugliest face in the world.
Gurning involves contorting the facial features into ugly positions while draped in a horse collar and it is thought that the competition at Egremont dates back to the middle ages.
Mrs Woods said: "It feels absolutely wonderful to have been accepted. But this is not before time " I've won the competition 27 times now.
"I am considering retiring, but I know what I'm like. Come next year's competition I'll be itching to get on stage again.
"Whatever happens, I doubt my record will be broken
."
Anne started gurning when she was 30 after her brothers entered her into the competition without her permission.
She won and 33 years later Anne is still pulling her famous face, and pulling the guys too. Phil Thompson travelled all the way from Middlesborough to congratulate his old girlfriend on her achievement.
But there was drama at this year's event when Anne collapsed and was rushed to hospital after leaving the stage.
Her daughter Brenda said: "I think this year gave her a bit of a shock, but she's known for gurning and that's what she'll do. "It's a big part of her life."
Mrs Woods has only missed the competition once and that was because she was heavily pregnant.
The following year, she was back up on the stage to reclaim her crown - just two weeks after giving birth to Brenda.
For the past few years she has gurned to a special soundtrack of the Babybird hit You're Gorgeous.
PS. She still blames Phil for her missing that one competition all those years ago. ; )~
ReplyDeleteBusted !! LMAO Kinda cute aint she!
ReplyDeleteOkay - thats a different one George ! Morning all. In Limerick today - joy of joys - learning 101 ways where to stick reeally sharp needles - ! later dudes x
ReplyDeleteOuch Elise,,,I'm not saying anything about George and little pricks!!!(toooo easy! LOL)
ReplyDeleteOuch indeed....and I have a blood test coming up next week. I do hope my nurse didn't attend the same course as Elise.
ReplyDeleteCan you imagine what could be lined up for me - if they got to talk about any of us here??
So Elise, is that 101 NEW ways to 'stick it' you're learning?... because I'm damn sure you know more than 101 (really really painful) ways already!! lol
PS. Phil? 'George' and 'Little pricks' in the same sentence.
ReplyDeleteIf you're not careful, I'll inform BRENDA where her daddy lives (and give her your phone number)!!! LMAO
George. Yes. Little pricks and 101 new places. . . don't think too hard about that one Boss ! later dudes have to go inflict more pain and suffering !! x
ReplyDeleteGrass George!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteROFLMBO. Me? A grass? Super!!
ReplyDeleteBeware, Phil,.... Lil Duck in in full S & M mode today.
Pictures please Elise!
Eeeek!!! Not such a LITTLE Prick George!!!,,or is that Elise's cake icer???LOL
ReplyDelete....pain and sharp glinting needles Big Guy.......Nothing better ! PMSL ! x
ReplyDeleteI'd rather have the cake icer!!! LOL xx
ReplyDelete!!!
ReplyDelete