Things look so differently when viewed from Australia.
I love Australians really:-
Australian brain transplant Joke.
An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk".
The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
Janet & Terry...(down under)......Have a goodun......cheers..!!
TIMBUKTU
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained
the word. The word they were given was 'TIMBUKTU'
First to recite his poem was the university graduate. He stepped up to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand, Trekked a lonely caravan Men on camels two by two Destination - Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they thought.
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;
Me and Tim a huntin' went Met three whores in a pop up tent They were three, and we was two So I bucked one, and timbuktu.
Specially for Janet & Derek and Terry & Anthea
ReplyDeleteHope you've had a 'bonzer' day!! (You lucky people).
Happy Australia day from us too.
ReplyDeleteI've had a very interesting post from Barry (TOPGUN).
ReplyDeleteHe suggests we have a 'Clay Pigeon' shoot on the Sunday morning before we leave Leicester in June.
He'll referee it.
Can I make my own suggestion?
We all aim for his crazy headgear? lol
Awwwh, I don't think Terry was able to relax and enjoy Australia Day this year.
ReplyDeleteHe sent me this quick (desperate) note:
And here's a very appropriate Aussie joke from PAULINE:
ReplyDeleteHappy Australia Day!
ReplyDeleteThings look so differently when viewed from Australia.
I love Australians really:-
Australian brain transplant Joke.
An Englishman wanted to become an Irishman, so he visited a doctor to find out how to go about this. "Well" said the doctor, "this is a very delicate operation and there is a lot that can go wrong. I will have to remove half your brain". "That's OK" said the Englishman. "I've always wanted to be Irish and I'm prepared to take the risk".
The operation went ahead but the Englishman woke to find a look of horror on the face of the doctor. "I'm so terribly sorry!!" the doctor said. "Instead of removing half the brain, I've taken the whole brain out". The patient replied, "No worries, mate!!"
LMAO, Mike. It's quite hard to find an 'Aussie Bashing' joke but you did it!!
ReplyDeleteWTG Lord Brooks! lol
You inspired me to find more!
ReplyDeleteLMAO
Janet & Terry...(down under)......Have a goodun......cheers..!!
ReplyDeleteTIMBUKTU
The Australian Poetry Competition had come down to two finalists; a
university graduate and an old aboriginal. They were given a word, then
allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained
the word. The word they were given was 'TIMBUKTU'
First to recite his poem was the university graduate.
He stepped up to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand,
Trekked a lonely caravan
Men on camels two by two
Destination - Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the old aboriginal top that, they
thought.
The old aboriginal calmly made his way to the microphone and recited;
Me and Tim a huntin' went
Met three whores in a pop up tent
They were three, and we was two
So I bucked one, and timbuktu.
The aboriginal won.!!!!!
For our Aussie Bollockeers !
ReplyDeleteMy favorite.....
Thank you one and all. We had a great day with the family. The weather was Goldilocks - not to cold, not too hot: just right:-)
ReplyDeleteIncidentally, you may have wondered if there is a difference between Australian Grannies and Grandads there is
ReplyDeleteI usually take my five-year old granddaughter to school. I couldn't do it one day last week, so Anthea did.
That night she told her parents that the ride to school with granny was very different!!
"What made it different?" asked her parents:
"Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind bastard, dick-head, Asian prick or wanker anywhere on the way to school today!
ROFLMFAO !!!!!! Bet you got an ear bashing ! LMAO ! xx
ReplyDeleteWEATHER WARNING !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSNOW NEAR BRISTOL MIKE !!!!! RED ALERT !!!!!
Thanks for the good wishes, we are having the worst summer for about 15 years so much rain but it is still warm, good job our winters are mild xx
ReplyDelete