,,lovely sunny morning ere,and for once it looks like the "Sarf"getting the white stuff!!
Off for a pint or three and to knock a few snooker balls about at the local hostelry
with the SIL this afta,,navigating the snow and ice there on foot should be fun,and even more of a challenge meandering home!LOL
Enjoy your day and have a cracking weekend,,and be careful out there!
Cheers
Sneezing.....
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.
The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.
The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more.
Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.
As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before.
Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wipe your nose and then shudder violently. Are you ok?"
"I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm."
The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. " I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"
The woman nodded, "Pepper."
PEPPER? LMAO
ReplyDeleteLOVE THE JOKE, PHIL : )~
GOOOOD MOANING ALL,
No snow here either, just very very cold, with a deep frost on the car.
But I suppose it''s better than the heavy dew we normally find on it.
It's very tiring having to yell "Get your Yiddish ass off the bloody car Isaac!" every morning, nine months of the year.
Oh well, I'm off to get the extension lead, plug in the hair-dryer and get the door lock open.
I've been using a penetrating oil (NO...Don't go there!) every few hours during the day, yet last night, I had to sit in the car while Lynn shopped, as the locks had frozen again, and we couldn't even lock it!
I'm fast running out of options. I wonder...can you buy a battery-powered hair dryer?
C'mon girls (and Phil) let me know PLEASE! : )~
Have you tried Anne Summers?????????
ReplyDeleteHave you Alex ?!!.lol..Game off today mate, (Morning/arvo all) ...Rushdens goalkeeper found hanged at home last week,& out of respect the games off....Weather here is not quite so cold & had mixture of rain & snow so roads trecherous....Just had a call & found we won a hamper in one of those raffles you participate in but never expect to win....Food for xmas then,,,,,hope there's a bottle of malt as well...!!!.
ReplyDeleteHi John,
ReplyDeleteYes, the tragedy of Dale Roberts was on our local news channels here. He'd been a member of both Sunderland and Middlesborough academies when he was younger. So damn sad.
Now for the mad Scotsman:
Heyyyy Alex?
Can you tell my exactly how an 'effing 'Rampant Rabbit' from Ann Summers is going to unfreeze my locks???
http://www.annsummers.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/productdisplay_et!letc~ev!10252||et!letc~ev!45936||_40151_-1_10252_42276_10001_
Do they sell 'Dwarf' Specials' ? LMAO.
If you ask for the `droopy` size George....you should be O.K.
ReplyDeleteAnyway it worked for me!!!!
Very sad to hear about Dale Roberts driven to suicide by another
member of John Terry`s family......They are all a waste of space!
His Mother done for thieving ....His Father done for drug dealing.
We all know about J.Ts escapades over the years and now his Brother. There is no way this man should ever Captain England or
any other team for that matter AGAIN!!!
Good win for Sunderland today George!
U.T.A. Alex
Yes Alex.....Great result, SIXTH in the table....am I dreaming? LOL
ReplyDeleteWellbeck certainly looks like a GENUINE BLACK CAT!
Alex,George,
ReplyDeleteSee Paul Terry,when he played down here for Darlington (darlo).earlier this season..His brother was watching him as Chelsea had no game that day....He was crap,& reading why Dale killed himself,for that fart,i despair....It takes two to tango mate,so she don't rate highly in my books either...such a waste of life...Yes the Terrys do seem to have a way of mucking peoples lifes up..!!!!
John, Have you ever been to matches at Bognor Regis Town.
ReplyDeleteJack Pearce used to be their Manager(for about 30 odd years!)
I believe he`s Vice Chairman now. We used to meet up with him twice a season when they played Billericay Town in the Ryman League.
His brother Ted used to work with me, Ted was a Sales Rep with Henri Wintermans the cigar people and I worked as a Sales Rep
with their parent Company....Imperial Tobacco.
Just realised how old I`m getting as I retired almost 25 years ago!
Alex P,S. "Bring on Barca"!!!!
U.T.A.
Alex,
ReplyDeletePlayed Bognor Regis several seasons ago,but never see them play at Bognor....Been to the Holiday Camp (hello campers) in the sixties though...when just a boy..lol
Alex, U.T.A. indeed...lmao....Tell ya though,Barca's last game I watched them in 3D,they completely thrashed/outplayed Real Madrid...be a cracker with the Gunners....
Yes! They`re a brilliant side....I can`t see Arse or anyone living with them. The match with Real Madrid was breathtaking....It was nice to see Jose looking a bit deflated!!!!
ReplyDeleteMessi is a Genius!
At least we did n`t lose today!!
Alex
George, if its that bad, most good car dealers sell 'universal' keys for cars. Basically a blank key which heats up. Insert into lock for a few minutes, and it works a charm. The ones I have seen are like the remote locks on keys, press the button and off your go. Try Halfords etc, or a local dealer to you.
ReplyDeleteFootie....nah....lost the plot when the 'off-side' rule changed, still not figured it all out ! Hubby is Liverpool, I keep an eye on Brentford, our old stomping ground as Student Nurses.....when Dinosaurs roamed the earth and every day [and night] was a drunken blur !!
Bloody cold here, had about an inch Snow last night, and more forecast here over the next 5 days. Have everyone praying that Mum & Dad get here safe and sound on Tuesday. Haven't seen any Nuns yet, but will pounce as soon as one shows her pious little face, and demand prayers be said !!!!!
Just tomorrow [full shift] and monday [half shift] to go before I am off until 2nd January. can't wait, need the break from work now.
Catch up with you all later Dudes, keep warm !!
xx
Elise,
ReplyDelete