Thursday, 2 December 2010

Return of the Bollockeers?

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,,waiting to see if all the troops got there and back safely to da "Smoke"yesterday??

Guess we'll have to wait till George's triple Horlicks last night wears off and he arises,,

No let up here with more snow overnight, looks like being a long job to get this lot shifted.

Stay warm

Cheers

The Hotel Bill

An elderly lady decided to give herself a big treat for her significant birthday by staying overnight in one of London 's most expensive hotels.

When she checked out next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for £250.00.

She explode and demanded to know why the charge was so high. "It's a nice hotel but the rooms certainly aren't worth £250.00 for just an overnight stop without even breakfast."

The clerk told her that £250.00 is the 'standard rate' so she insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The Manager appeared and forewarned by the desk clerk announced: "the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre which are available for use."

'But I didn't use them," she said.

''Well, they are here, and you could have," explained the Manager.

He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which the hotel is famous. "We have the best entertainers from Edinburgh, Glasgow , and Aberdeen performing here," the Manager said.

"But I didn't go to any of those shows," she said.

"Well, we have them, and you could have," the Manager replied.

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!"

The Manager was unmoved, so she decided to pay, wrote a cheque and gave it to the Manager.

The Manager was surprised when he looked at the cheque. "But madam, this cheque is only made out for £50.00." ''That's correct. I charged you £200.00 for sleeping with me," she replied.

"But I didn't!" exclaims the very surprised Manager.

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

24 comments:

  1. Morning Big Guy - Bitterly cold here, can't get off my hill, so housebound with kids........WHY OH WHY could this have not happened earlier in the week when I was to go to work ? !

    Hope all the Guys got home safe too. Keep warm Dudes !
    Later
    x

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  2. Mornin' good peeps,

    I arrived home safe (if not sane), very late last night, after the train journeys from hell.
    To say my bum is numb is a massive understatement. (SHADDUP PHIL!!)

    I spent well over 11 hours trapped in cramped train seats yesterday. Got to London almost 3 hours late, and got home over 3 hours later than scheduled.

    BUT the service for Andy was wonderful, well worth the trip. And to see old friends and meet NEW ones was a big bonus (even if they did eat all the buffet before I could get there).

    My brain isn't working yet, it hasn't defrosted,,,(Your turn,,SHADDUP ELISE!) lol, so I'll post more later.


    Cheeeeeeeeeers,


    PS. Even more friggin' snow here.
    Where is Mike when I need more shovels? On his way to the USA, that's where!!!

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  3. Morning "Numb Bum!",,glad ya made it in one piece, albeit a cold one! LOL

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  4. Geeeeze George. That was a terrible journey you had too. John also had a time of it, but you know what....fair play to all of you for making the journey. It shows what a special man Andy was. I hope his family are doing as well as can be expected, and took some comfort from yesterdays tribute.

    Well then "Numb-Bum".....ya defrosted?
    xx

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  5. Gradually thawing out out now..... after more hours spent clearing snow before Lynn could go shopping.
    But why did I bother, the bloody snow is falling heavier an ever right now!

    CAN I SWEAR IN THE MOST DISGUSTING MANNER??

    No..better not! We have refined ladies here, as well as gentlemen who are easily shocked, lol. : )~

    Allister has posted a very good summing up of yesterday's event on the PCC events board,


    It was good to see Al have a trouble free journey for once! (He thoroughly deserved his luck).

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  6. PS. Elise...John (Shergold) is the real BIG GUY now. He's a foot taller than Phil, and built like brick shit-house! (Isn't that a beautiful Geordie expression?) LMAO

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  7. I only said that because Elise has been playing with Phil while I was away. She NEVER plays with me!

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  8. Cos you're always playing with yourself!!

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  9. Glad to hear you eventually arrived home safe and sound. Trust all the others did too! I commend Allister for making the journey all the way from Belfast It just illustrates the high esteem every one of you held for Andy.
    Sorry I could not be there... but my thoughts were with you all the way.
    Roll on June 2011 when we can all meet up again!.
    Alex

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  10. I only played with myself 'cos Phil said it was good for the eyesight. He lied about that too! lol


    Alex, I'm glad for your sake you couldn't make the journey. It was really very cold, and bad underfoot, and we want you in tip-top-tap- dancing condition for June 25th.

    Phil will wear his kilt if you do, and I'll play some Scottish reels for the pair of you.We need a cabaret like that!

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  11. By the way, Capn Phil also assured me that exercising it daily in the same way he does, it would grow longer and thicker within months.

    Didn't work!

    Maybe I should have kept going at it from the age of 13 to 60 like he has done!

    So is that an elephant hiding in your drawers Phil?

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  12. Hey George, well done for your endeavours yesterday.
    It was obviously a very moving occasion. And yes, Allister deserved a decent journey for a change.
    Shame someone ate your share of the food though. I wonder who that could be ? Perhaps he should be rationed in June ?

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  13. George, don't be jealous ! You often have fun playing with yourself....... ! Hi Rob...? Rob from PCC? If so, nice to have you join us ! How are you these days? Very bloody cold here, but thankfully no snow !

    BTW Guys, got my glass hob sorted. It arrived today by Courier [!] 'Sparky' fitted it in 10 mins for the princely sum of €20- !! BIG SIGN on it now warning James to DARE drop anything on/near or even BREATH near it !!!

    Later dudes !
    xx

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  14. Hi George, .......... Brick shithouse, me, nah,.........although there was quite a few of them there yesterday at the memorial (rugby fraternity),but hey Phil,got a drink out of George !.....Glad you got home eventually mate,& a bit hairy for me too with a long trek in thick snow,with just basic shoes on ( bit there on Elise's site).
    Glad though i went,& as Alex commented,roll on June......& she can come too.!

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  15. WOW John you got a drink out of George?????I'm impressed!,,,,,that's his wallet locked away till next year!!,,,he's propbably having a lie down in a darkened room as we speak! LOL

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  16. Blimey John you gotta drink out of George....he will be moaning for the next 2 weeks now !!!!

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  17. Singe really,as he didn't see it coming.....I'm into a bit of hypnosis,& well, he was like putty in my hand...LOL....

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  18. Ha Ha ! Good one ! Looks like you are in the club then ! Me & Phil try and see how to wind George up every day....It's like shooting fish in a barrel ! [ SSssshhhh Don't tell him though !] PMSL ! xx

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  19. John, Did you get to the match at HAYES or was it cancelled? I did n`t say "Roll on JUNE!" I said "Roll on JUNE2011!" when hopefully
    we shall all meet up again and put faces to names.... Great fun they tell me! but I don`t remember too much about it " Hissed again!".
    I had to keep quiet surrounded by Spurs fans (Allister & Mark....he even wore his Spurs shirt! ) Made me feel quite ill!!! Then there was
    Black Cat George, and Baggie Mike not forgetting Blackpool Barrington and Phil the Imp....I`m sure you`ll enjoy the banter.
    I`ll say it again roll on June2011...Hope the snow has gone by then!! Alex

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  20. Hi Alex,
    No the match was cancelled, so is the game against Gateshead on Saturday......I know what you said,about June,& looking forward to it...I was only joking about June coming too, & really do look forward to it muchly....it be a highlight for next year for me,so can't come quick enough....
    Elise, I wait for George's response & 'bribe' to perhaps even things out 3-1 is not fair.....or is it.....!!!!!!

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  21. He is a tricky character John....A wily Geordie.....3-1 is about even odds in my book !! x

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  22. I'm not that wily.

    I absentmindedly bought John a drink, breaking the habit of a lifetime...and now every bugger knows!!
    I may be missing from the June line-up. Phil will have spread the news like wildfire.

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  23. Yep,,I got emails from five more Bollockeers now going to the June do!!! LMAO

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  24. You cant be missing George! You`re the Boss! and you can bring your
    `wily` with you....providing it`s thawed out by then!
    Alex

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