VERY FOGGY START TO THE DAY....BUT TURNED OUT LOVELY,BUT....
GOT A CRACKING JOKE ,BUT WORDS WON'T SHOW UP ON A DARK BACKGROUND..
BEAR WITH US....FOLKS.!!!.......HAVE A GREAT DAY...
OOOOPS GOT GO OUT..........CARRY ON WITHOUT ME......CATCH YOU LATER.!!
John, you couldn't be more right.
ReplyDeleteFog has grounded all my thoughts, and I need to borrow Elise's 'Back soon' sign for a while.
Since I can't 'do' words today....can I do pictures instead?
TALKING BOLLOCKS AS USUAL:
Oooooooh look at this...a red pussy!
Speaking of which...Bev? Have you still got Ian drinking Red Bush tea?
One for the speedy guys:
George is bragging again ...... This was the email he sent me to cheer me up ! PMSL ! xx
ReplyDeleteNow back.....
ReplyDeleteTWO OLD MEN DECIDE THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT
ON THE TOWN.
AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL
THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER,
'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED.
THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM.THEY WON'T
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'
THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF
THEIR BUSINESS. AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS
'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'
'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'HIS FRIEND SAYS,
'COULD BE WORSE I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH.'
'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'
'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE,
THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER..!!!!!'
LMAO, Nice one John!
ReplyDeleteElise, I was NOT bragging (you saucy lil' duck).
Size is all down to exercise, PMSL:
Another post from Terry (still in south Africa). It shows he's STILL thinking of us.
ReplyDeleteWell, maybe not about me...but certainly John and Mike and the other members of the SS Club, LOL.
Yes, George, 'er Ladyship has still got me drinking the Red Bush tea, but a quick inspection shows that it's having no visible effect.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much John's two old men would have been charged in this disorderly house?
"Geordie is on a weekend stag do with his mates, Jock, Taff and Paddy.
They visit a brothel, and the Madam explains that they have a simple pricing system - they charge by the length of the penis: £10 per inch.
Meeting up later, Jock brags, "Och, best £90 a ever spent."
Paddy says, “Cost me £100!”
Taff, not wanting to tell them that he paid only £60, decided to lie. "You's got off lightly. I had to pay £125!!!”
Then Geordie pipes up. "Really? It only cost me £15!
I PAID ON THE WAY OUT."
A Geordie, and a Russian, a Yank, a Welshman, a Frenchman, a German, an Aussie, a Pole, a Jew, a Dutchman, an Italian, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Canadian, a Brazilian, a Peruvian and a Spaniard were all on a night out and walked up to the door of a pub only to be stopped by the bouncer who said: “Sorry lads, you cannot get in without a Thai.”
Now off to retrieve the Rolls from the garage - faulty ABS sensor - to collect 'er Ladyship from 'er latest secret mission, aka servicing the good folks of Thornbury!
Ian
You can't beat the Geordie lads for having an eye for a bargain, lol
ReplyDeletePAID ON THE WAY OUT???????????????? ROFLMBO
Hey Ian, if Bev is servicing the good folks of Thornbury, she might well come back with a Thai, lol.
Nice jokes Ian.......keep them coming.....
ReplyDeleteFound this interesting piece,& loved the last para......just shows its not size,but how you use it......lmao
That one earlier by Elise xx reminded me of this one......
Too many folks here have dirty minds...I'll prove it:
ReplyDeleteSee? What did I tell ya? lol