Morning all Bollockeers & hope we all survived yesterdays ghouls & witches....
Today is All Saints day,& celebrated by Christians all over....
We here have our real live 'Saint'.... Elise....
.
She is a true friend to so many,& has a dedication to helping all PCa sufferers & there loved ones....Cheers Sweetie 
Welcome again to Janet....i hope you are ready for this...
WHAT EVER YOU DO.....MAKE IT COUNT...
A Man is sitting in the living room watching his favourite football team compete for the first time in the Champions league.
His wife comes into the room and says " Honey, can you fix the landing light? It has been flickering for ages."
"Wow!" shouts the man. "Do I look as though I have 'Scottish Power' tattooed on my forehead? I don't think so!"
A little later she comes back and says "Can you fix the front step? It's been cracked for ages."
It is nearly half time and the man is engrossed. "Wow! " he responds "Do I look as if I have 'B&Q' stamped on my forehead? I don't think so!"
Half-way through the second half, the wife comes back into the room and says "The door of the fridge is a bit wobbly, can you fix it?"
"Wow!", shouts the man again. "Do I look as though I have 'Philips' written on my head? I don't think so! I am off down the pub!"
He spends all night there until closing time and goes home.
When he gets there, he finds the step fixed, the light does not flicker anymore and the fridge door does not wobble when he goes to get a beer.
He wakes his wife, "Hey" he says. "The step is fixed, the light is fixed and the fridge door does not wobble anymore. How did you do all that?"
"Well" says his wife, "After you left, I sat on the doorstep and cried. A nice young man passed by and stopped to see what the matter was. He said he would fix everything for me if I either baked a cake for him or had sex with him."
"So what sort of cake did you bake for him? Asked the husband.
"Wow!" said the wife, "Do I look like I have 'Kipling' tattooed on my forehead?"
Good morning John.
ReplyDeleteHAPPY ALL SAINTS DAY TO ALL.
Welcome Janet, hope you will enjoy the pics and jokes on here, you can help Elise and Bev control George !!
Nice one John.
Batten down the hatches AGAIN Elise, Yankie snow is on its way as deluge for you sweetie.
Good morning my lovelies. Its pre op day today joy oh joy!
ReplyDeleteControl George, flip we've been trying for ages with no success. I was thinking of him earlier as I was reading a craft magazine. Guess what there is a pattern for a family of sheep. It is so tempting....!!!
Be good and have fun
xx
Morning everyone.
ReplyDeleteVery funny John - I counted two there lol.
Would that be 'arry trying to watch the gunners?
Pre op Bev ? What sort of op ?
ReplyDeleteMorning All..........John never does things by half! lol
ReplyDeleteGrrrrrrrrreat joke though.
Bev in for her pre-op? I know you're having an op on your mouth, Bev....and I think it's very cruel of Ian to put you through that.
A 'Scold's Bridle' would have done the job just as well in the old days!
Here's a typical joke from Down Under - and I'll let you all guess whether it was Janet or Terry who sent it in! lol
ReplyDeleteWhich reminds me of a cracker posted here ages ago
Yep must have me head up
ReplyDeletethis morning.....
Good jokes too Georgie boy
John, that pic is even better than an ostrich with its head in the sand !!
ReplyDeleteGeorge, bloody good jokes again.....
A young woman married and had 13 children.
ReplyDeleteHer husband died. She soon married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children.
Alas, she finally croaked. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed to the Lord above, thanking him for this loving woman who fulfilled his commandment to "Go forth and multiply."
In his final eulogy, he noted, "Thank you Lord, they're finally together."
Leaning over to his neighbour, one mourner asked... "Do you think he means her first, second or third husband?"
The other mourner then replied... "I think he means her legs."
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Just when you thought it was peaceful here....THE TONE-LOWERER STRIKES AGAIN!
right vain i think..!!
ReplyDeleteA FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife,
'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets,
BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole,
BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go.
'From now on when I say BELL 1
I want you to strip naked.
When I say BELL 2
I want you to jump into bed.
And when I say BELL 3
We are going to make love all night.
' The next night he came home from work and yelled
'BELL 1!' The wife promptly took all her clothes off.
When he yelled 'BELL 2!', the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled ' BELL 3!', they began making love.
After a few minutes though, the wife yelled 'BELL 4!'
'What the hell is BELL 4?' asked the husband?
'ROLL OUT MORE HOSE,' she replied '
YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE....!!!!!
New topic...Happy Limp Day? lol
ReplyDeleteI DO have a limp...but it's me right leg giving me hell,,,,,HONEST!!
OMG!
ReplyDeleteMonster organ!
Porno pumpkins!
E.D.!
What's the Phantom Tone - Lowerer got in store next?
i've heard of legless, and pain in the ass, but really George pain in the leg !!
ReplyDeleteIt was John's back yesterday, hope you got some relief, John. Bev's pre-op day now George's right leg, sorry to be so flippant !! Well not really ......
A complete change of tone.
ReplyDeleteJust had a look at the "IN MEMORIUM PICS" and I didn't reallise we had lost so many so quickly.
My prayers tonight go out to all their relations and friends.
Chris.
ALL SOULS DAY TOMORROW.
Thanks Chris......alot better today....Hope Bev o.k to....xx...
ReplyDeleteYes, & a lot of them i did not know either .......I hope this site never forgets all its members & George has made sure we don't.....
Thanks to George....& Elise..xx
Back from hosp. Op is on 22.11.11. Two days after my birthday. Such joy! I'll have a sore mouth for most of the week.
ReplyDeletelol
bev x
Evening all xx Just a quickie for you George ! PMSL ! A limp now ? GEEZUS !!
ReplyDeleteJohn xx Thanks for that, great chatting to you too xx
Chris ? Snow ? From the Yanks ? I thought they all loved Ireland ? BU@@er !! And Mike is in Hong Kong.....he better bring me back a shovel PDQ ! xx
Bev xx At least it is AFTER your birthday ! Best of luck xx
I will be MIA for a couple of days, will catch up at the weekend. Have a couple of complicated cakes to whip up by friday......prayers for Lil' Duck please Guys xx
Quack, Quack to that me duck !!
ReplyDeleteIan is growing a moustache for PCA awareness. He is not impressed with my offer of doubling my sponsorship if he lets me wax it off at the end of November!!!
ReplyDeleteMichael asks what the phantom tone-lowerer might do next??
ReplyDeleteWell....Bev set me off on this one........ (so blame her!)
How the moustache was invented:
And of course...it's a free country, so you're free to complain
Go ahead...Make my day! LMAO
George, you live dangerously me darlin!! Remember I am good with wax!
ReplyDeleteWell Bevie.... La Fleece is going awol for a couple of days.
ReplyDeleteSo that means your'e "it" LMAO
And you know that "when La Fleece is away, the tone lowerers will play"
Stay tuned .... I can hear Georgie's cogs whirring away from here!!
Geez... just put me readin glasses on.
ReplyDeleteThat really is below the belt George.....ya shud be proud of yassell!!!
I am at work for the next three days so will only be able to catch up in the evenings. I hope you will behave and keep George under control, not easy I know!!
ReplyDeleteI cannot hear his cogs whirring but I can hear his snoring. He is there dreaming of all those sheep!!
Lots of love me lovelies xxx
Tomorrow, all souls day, is our 43rd wedding aniversary.
ReplyDeleteThe catholic church does not allow flowers on this day and the church is generally done out in black.
My father in law had a word with the pope and anyone else he could find and we had a a church full of flowers and a wonderful day.
There was also a match at Wembley which delayed the ride in the Rolls through Wembley, so we got good value for money that day on car hire.
Being a good catholic I was still so hung over I could only manage a coke on my wedding day!
Still we have survived for a long time through thick and thin.
I love you Annette. xxxxx
TO KEITH & ANNETTE..
ReplyDeleteHave a great day.....
Keith & Annette, CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU BOTH.
ReplyDeleteYour post brought a smile here....I was a 'good Catholic boy' (yeah,,,right!!) and Lynn was a protestant.
We married in the Church of England, and I incurred the wrath of my cantankerous 'parish priest'...a typical fire and brimstone old Irish type!
Eyebrows were raised...and that was even in 1970. Oh soooo silly innit? lol