MORNING BOLLOCKEERS....FROM A WET SOUTH COAST..
STILL MILD HERE & MAY IT LAST.....COS...
ITS TOO DARN EXPENSIVE....
HOPE ITS GREAT DAY
WHATEVER YOU DO
MY BACK IS A LOT BETTER SO VENTURING OUT TODAY........
HOPE EVERYONE IS WELL TO
ESPECIALLY MY INBRED CAT
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. 'I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!'
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him:
'I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself.'
'The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and understood because she had the same procedure done some time ago.'
'And what about the third rose ?' she asked.
"That's from a man upstairs in the burns unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."!!!
GOOD morning John, pleased the back is better, what did you take pill wise to help ?
ReplyDeleteWe like very much the "inbread cat", well done.
Enjoy your day good peoples, whatever the weather is today. Some will have it wet, others will have it sodden, poor Elise again !!
What a sunny morning here! Incredible for the Grim North innit?
ReplyDeleteHey John...what a really touching story about that poor lady after her op. Three roses, huh?
I wonder how many our Bev gets after her procedure? ROFPMSL
Sorry Bev.....Good luck with the op though....did you get a date yet??
Blimey George keep up.....She has a date of 22nd of November just after her 58th birthday......
ReplyDeleteHahaha ........ living dangerously myself..... as also know she's at work................phew.!!
What she pointing at
& all excited about....lol
Oooops, sorry again Bev.....end of November for your mouth op (I wouldn't DARE say anything about 'lips being sealed' LMAO)
ReplyDeleteJohn...that Chinese girl seems to have spotted you...so has thiis 'cutie'....your favourite, lol.
I think Georges leg pain has attacked his brain, he isn't paying attention, or not reading so well, do you think he should go to specsavers ?
ReplyDeleteA frog goes into a bank and
ReplyDeleteapproaches the teller. He
can see from her nameplate
that her name is Patricia
Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get
a £30,000 loan to take a
holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in
disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is
Kermit Jagger, his dad is
Mick Jagger, and that it's
okay, he knows the bank
manager.
Patty explains that he will
need to secure the loan with
some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have
this," and produces a tiny
porcelain elephant, about an
inch tall, bright pink and
perfectly formed.
She goes to find the manager and
says, "There's a frog called
Kermit Jagger out there who
claims to know you and wants
to borrow £30,000, and he
wants to use this as
collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink
elephant. "I mean, what in
the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back
at her and says........
& ALLTOGETHER SING......
"It's a knickknack, Patty
Whack. Give the frog a loan...
His old man's a Rolling
Stone." ..!!!!!
or as the North Bank used to sing "show John the way to go home........" LMAO
ReplyDeleteC'mon John ..not crude enough for us "Phantom" acolytes - try harder (as the actress said to the B
Chris, you may be right. Brain function is definitely impaired here.
ReplyDeleteBut what's John's excuse?? THAT JOKE WAS WOEFUL!!!!! lol
YOU 2 JUST MAKE ME
ReplyDeleteNot a W.H. supporter either....as much too clever....pmsl
Hey Chris......did you like my 'Jagger joke'?
YES, even if George didn't appreciate it, even Shirley laughed.
ReplyDeleteI like the above as well.
Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks Chris & as you & Shirley are so kind........
ReplyDeleteHERE'S ANUTHER.......
One December day we found an old straggly cat at our door.
She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny, and
hair all matted down.
We felt sorry for her so we put her in a carrier and took her to the
vet. We didn't know what to call her so we named her 'Pussy.'
The vet decided to keep her for a day or so. He said he would let us
know when we could come and get her.
My husband (the complainer) said, 'OK, but don't forget to wash her,
she stinks.'
He reminded the vet that it was his WIFE (me) that wanted the dirty
cat, not him.
My husband and my Vet don't see eye to eye. The vet calls my
husband 'El-Cheap-O', and my husband calls the vet 'El-Charge-O'.
They love to hate each other and constantly 'snipe' at one another,
with my husband getting in the last word on this particular occasion.
The next day my husband had an appointment with his doctor, who is
located in the same building, next door to the vet.
The GP's waiting room and office was full of people waiting to see the
doctor.
A side door opened and the vet leaned in - he had obviously seen my
husband arrive.
He looked straight at my husband and in a loud voice said, 'Your wife's
pussy doesn't stink any more. We washed and shaved it, and now she
smells like a rose! Oh, and, by the way, I think she's pregnant! God
only knows who the father is!' Then he closed the door. The silence
was deafening.
Now THAT, my friends, is getting even!
And yet another to make her laugh, thanks John.
ReplyDeleteDon't put much on the PCC forum these days.Chris...........think i put this one on The Laughter thread though......
ReplyDeleteI haven't been on PCC for some time, but added some comments today.
ReplyDeleteWho said I was 58. Cheeky s&&&. I am still in my 40's!!
ReplyDeleteGeorge I expect lots of roses from you!!
Will be back xx
Snnnnzzzzz...... Sorry John - fell asleep half way through PMSL
ReplyDeleteYou have to get to the nub faster (as the actress said to the B
Be nice if you contributed a joke or two for once Michael instead of criticising me......not pmsl
ReplyDeleteI have only been kidding John.
ReplyDeleteTrying to contribute in my own pathetic way.
(it's called leg - pulling I think).
Please excuse the overfamiliarity.
Thats seen as' sarcasm' Michael.in my book......sumthink you are a master at on here
ReplyDeletebut actually contribute very little else to this site......
oh i see delete all offending material....not the first time either is it.Michael..!!!!!.....
ReplyDeleteNo matter admins seen it anyway....
Guys, guys, not certain what is happening but lets be kind to each other.
ReplyDeletexx
Hey Bev.........JUST FOR YOU
ReplyDeleteHey Bev....(this is an echo) JUST FOR YOU...
LMAO
When do I get my slap??
George, what can I say me darlin!
ReplyDeleteAdmin was aware of toys being thrown out of the pram. Shameful. No more please.
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Dunno Bev....You could either say "Well...Thank You George" or tell me to sod 'Orf! (and then slap me!) ROFLMAO
ReplyDeleteGeorge you have made me smile. I've had a crap day at work and needed cheering up. Even the old man laughted!!
ReplyDeletexx
APOLOGY
ReplyDeleteI HOLD EVERYONE ON THIS SITE IN GREAT ESTEEM
IF THE TACK I'VE ADOPTED HAS CAUSED OFFENCE, THEN I APOLOGISE - IT'S THE LAST THING I'D WISH TO DO
I SHALL TRY TO REMOVE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
THATS YOUR FIRST JOKE MICTER ON HERE WELL DONE
ReplyDeleteYOUV'E NO RESPECT ......JUST DEROGATORY REMARKS NO CONTENT JUST SPIEL....
Storm in a tea-cup.
ReplyDeleteNow back to important things.
OH WHO DELETED MY COMMENT
ReplyDeleteMike, just carry on being you. XX
ReplyDeleteThe question is, will you send me roses!
John, xx
ReplyDeleteBev.....Go carefully with the vino tonight....I'm not sure quite WHAT the long term effects can be with a Laydee! LMAO
ReplyDeleteJohn, I deleted your comment. Time for some peace and silliness.
THATS THE PROBLEM INNIT....HE WILL SLIP BACK INTO AGAIN
ReplyDeletegEORGE AN APOLOGY IS CHEAP FROM HIM
George has called me a lady, sent me roses and writ me a poem! Whats he after!!!
ReplyDeleteTHIS IS NOT THE SAME SITE I WAS PROUD TO HAVE JOINED A YEAR AGO.......FIRST TIME I'VE EVER BEEN ANGRY....THAT MUST SAY SOMETHING SURELY
ReplyDeleteJohn, I'll put this into perspective for you.
ReplyDeleteElise is having a very distressing time with her father's continued illness.....I'm not feeling too good myself tonight...and the last thing we need is totally pointless bickering.
There are FAR more important things to worry about.
That's an end to it.
O.K. GEORGE.........I ACCEPT HIS APOLOGY.......ONLY COS I LUV YOU & ELISE TO MUCH..xxxx....(xxx FOR ELISE ONLY THOUGH)
ReplyDeleteHey guys (and Laydees) we have heavy snow here tonight - and I'm on taxiing duties.
ReplyDeleteI was driving Katrina home from South Shields and was nearly run off the road by some Dick In a Truck!