Well it should be a bright sunny day for most of us, Elise is off to Blarney, anyone else out for the day then ENJOY yourselves.
Have a great weekend.
Chris.
xxxxx to the girls.
PS. If anyone is interseted in RELIGEOUS stickers for their Christmas CXard Envelopes then contact :- christmasunwrapped.org.uk in Europe only.
Gooooood Morning Folks,
ReplyDeleteWow, where did this sunshine come from? After five days of rain it's very welcome.
So Elise is off to kiss the Blarney Stone?????????? I'm saying nowt. No smart ass comments, lol.
But it did get me thinking about Ireland:
A few Irish jokes to tickle your palate..............
"Water to Wine"
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut.
The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest.
The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
***********************************************
" The Brothel"
Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see a man of the cloth going' bad."
Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation as well."
Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity...one of the girls must be dying.
*************************************
Irish Predicament
Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing.
The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but the Ole just sits there.
Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall.
The drunk mumbles, "ain't no use knockin, there's no paper on this side either."
************************************************
The Pope was finishing his sermon. He ended it with the Latin phrase, "Tutti Homini" - Blessed be Mankind.
The women's rights group approached the Pope the next day. They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind, but not Womankind.
The next day, after His sermon, the Pope concluded by saying, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini" - Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.
The next day, a gay-rights group approached the Pope. They said that they noticed that he blessed Mankind and Womankind, and asked if he could also bless gay people.
The Pope said, "Sure."
The next day, the Pope concluded his sermon with, "Tutti Homini, et Tutti Femini, et Tutti Fruiti
George .....saying nowt......now THAT'S a first !!!! ROFLMAO !! Yes, I am off to Blarney, as I must kiss the stone to get the gift of the gab....Let's just gloss over the fact that it was stolen from Scotland, was originally called the 'Stone of Scone' and crowned all of Scotlands medieval Kings......but hey, who is holding a grudge here !
ReplyDeleteSunny day in The Rebel County, BUT could have done without the 6 inch frost last night.....bu@@er....could be snow....is Mike back from Hong Kong yet with my shovel ??? xx
Morning all........good jokes George...
ReplyDeleteCloudy here.....but tis mild...no wind as yet.....
Vindaloo later then the loo soon after no doubt......lol
This would do my BACK in big time
Kissing The Blarney Stone....
hmmmmmmmmmmmm
Frosty with a boner
THE OLD JEWISH MAN....
ReplyDeleteA female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.
To check it out, she went to the Wall, and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site.
She watched him pray, and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.
"Pardon me Sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?
"Morris Feinberg," he replied.
"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Wailing Wall to pray?"
"For about 60 years."
"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"
"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."
"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."
"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man."
"And how do you feel Sir, after doing this for 60 years?"
"It's like talking to a furking brick wall."...!!!!
John? I thought the top picture was of an Irish baptism...and the one below of a leprechaun watching the ceremony!
ReplyDeleteMike Is stll over in Hong Kong with Kath, visiting their son. He's due back on Thursday.
Elise, please don't build your hopes up about the yellow shovel......I know for a fact that the 'factory visit' into mainland China is just a subterfuge.
Mike didn't spend £600 over the past 6 months attending 'willy-binding' classes for no reason (but don't ever mention this to Kath).
Morning John xx You are in GREAT form ! xx had a call from dad, he is still in the hospice, and had another fall this morning.....grrrrrr....bloody independent bugger.....Doc is checking him out now, but they think no bones broken, just bruised......my BP at the moment is something else xx
ReplyDeleteGeorge ! You came before me again ! xx
ReplyDeleteAwwwwwh hell, Elise...ANOTHER FALL?
ReplyDeleteYou must be jumping up and down with frustration there. Tell your dad the gang will visit (en masse) if he doesn't behave himself.
Watch that BP, FFS!
(By the way, I did NOT come before you....you're manipulating these posts so that folks will presume I'm constantly having premature 'e-salutations'!!!
Here's something to take your mind of things at home, and really bring down that blood pressure - but will infuriate all the guys here.
Did you know it's not long till Christmas? Time to get the present list drawn up:
But did you know also...you can get Santa to do some terribly naughty things if you click below.
In fact, he'll do almost anything you order him to (Bev will like this one!) LMAO
CLICK RIGHT HERE: BAD SANTA AND TURN UP THE VOLUME!
GUys you are all up before me, it ust be soething in the water!
ReplyDeleteLong day yesterday as dads sister died. He has taken it really hard. Anyone have any tips for reducing bp!
xx
Sorry about your sad news Bev....you'll need to read the post above for tips on reducing that BP. xxx
ReplyDeleteI'm still on four different tabs for B.P.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that news to Bev..xx....
Constant worry Elise..xx..re-your Dad.....
Please pass on mine & Vals good wishes to Ian..
Hahaha.....George...... Santa does all you command it to....strip (partial),jump & the splits he farted as well.......pmsl
Santa doesn't strip cpmpletly. Typical man, never completes the job!!
ReplyDeleteSpoken to dad, he is in a bad way. He thinks he will be next. What canyou say to reassure him ??
I have made bad Santa swear like a North Shields fish-wife! (pity about the Yank accent though, lol).
ReplyDeleteBAD SANTA
HERE'S A CLEVER ONE FROM PAULINE - FOR ALL YOU TATTOO LOVERS (and there's even a nice bit of ass in it for John Boy!!):
ReplyDeleteWrite your Name... Get to see it in the Tattoo....
This is really amazing! I do not know which brilliant person created this. You must try this….
Enter your Name on the screen that appears and Watch:
CLICK HERE
Bloody 'ell.....make sure your volume is set high.....you should have heard the sexy message I got - from THE WOMAN, John!!!
ReplyDeletenice eh...... having my name on some guys ass
ReplyDeleteElise e.mailed me this a min ago from Blarney.......
.Who's got the bestest job then.!!!!
Wow! Hurry guys........All we need is handcuffs and leg irons..and we have the tables turned - La Dominatrix Duck exactly where we want her! LMAO
ReplyDeleteROFLMAO !! You would have to GET UP way earlier than me Boss !! xx
ReplyDeleteGeorge, you already have the pink handcuffs, you used them only recently!
ReplyDeletex
George get up early ? You must be joking !! When we were working on the coaches (Shirley for 12 years) we had to get up at 02.30 to pick up the yanks to be at Heathrow, S, and Gatwick, Me, for 07.30 !
ReplyDeleteBev, sorry don't know the answer to ressure him, all you can do is be a good listener.
Elise, did you get your cake boxes ? Did you have a good day ?
The jokes today have improved, well done guys.
Elise and Chris? I was up early one day last week. Something Bev said about pink handcuffs.......
ReplyDeleteAll I remember is waking up on a train north out of Bristol. It was only 7.30am, and I was still hallucinating about handcuffs, leg-irons, whips and chains.
BEV? Have I been in your craft room?
Did you drug me??
OMG!!
How did you get that photo. Thats how you looked when you left!
ReplyDeleteGeorge ?? Drugged ?? ha ha ha ha ha !!!!! PMSL ! ROFLMAO ! I want a pint of his blood !!!!!!!
ReplyDelete**************
I had a productive/non productive day today Guys xx I had reserved 10 cake boxes on line. They were €1-50 each [half price sale] The voucher I printed out [10 of them] stated that if they did not have the item there, I would get a €10 credit note. SO, drove all the way there [nearly an hour, everyone out Xmas shopping] to only find 5 on the shelf...fast forward to me at the check out....massive queue behind me, and they were only going to give me 1 x €10 credit voucher. I did point out that NOWHERE on the form I had, did it state that multiples of the same item warranted only one voucher.....30 mins later [queue out the door by now] and I had confirmation from head office that yes, I was entitled to €50 credit....AND as a gesture of goodwill, and because I had to wait so long, they were just going to give me the whole €100 credit !!!! WOW !!! That meant, all my shopping came to €75....paid for by the shop AND an additional €25 credit voucher for the remainder of the amount, valid for 6 months ! RESULT !! I do like it when you go shopping and the shop pays for your goods :-))
***************
Dad is VERY lucky. He has no broken bones, this time. His face is battered and bruised, and his gammy hip/leg, but, thankfully, all still intact. He got a massive fright. I have read the riot act to the unfortunate Nurse that answered the phone to me, and told her under NO circumstances, is dad to be unsupervised now . ABSOLUTELY NO CIRCUMSTANCES. I was VERY clear about this. I also asked was this drug related, general deterioration or what. Apparently this was a genuine accident. I also raised the possibility of brain mets, as he does have skull mets [aka our Andy] and was told that they are not concerned, as this is not the problem. I truly hope this is not famous last words here......
He has an Onco appointment on Tuesday, and RT starts on Wed to the hip/leg pelvis area causing the pain.....Mmmmmm....I seem to remember harassing the Onco about this a good 6 weeks ago....GEEZUS FFS !!!!!!
So, I am at work tomorrow, I will tell the boss I will be flying home for the weekend, that she either gets the shift covered now, or she is short staffed. I will be throwing my weight around, and god help anyone that gets in my way !!
Love you all xx and thanks for listening to my rant Guys :-)) Cannot let off steam anywhere else now, especially LOL, as Mom uses that. Appreciate you all putting up with me xx
Rant on as much as you want Elise...xx....We all luv yer.......Good result with the boxes to..!!!!
ReplyDeleteCan understand your concern for Dad & wanting to be over here.........good luck....fingers & everything else crossed.....
Trouble again with my fav 10" notebook.......grrrrrrrrr.......
Only have the other putor & sharing that with Val......
Bevian....another win for Spurs...................C.O.Y.S.......
Thanks John xx Looking forward to my hug in Dec from you ! xx
ReplyDeleteNow you've had your rant, AND let off steam..... SLEEP tight Elise.
ReplyDeleteWe all want what is best for ourselves and our love ones. xxx
A hug with..........
ReplyDeleteWOW...!!!!?..xx