Morning all......A nice day darn Sarth today........Off to Brighton for my weekly 'fry up' a little later...
Leave you some wise sayings.....lol
ZEN Teachings
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.. 2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any. 3. No one is listening until you fart. 4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.. 6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments. 7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it. 11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree. 13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. 14. Good judgment comes from bad experience .. and most of that comes from bad judgment. 15. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works. 17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass .... then things just keep getting worse. 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
I have been all over the internet, and I cannot get over for Big Guys funeral and back in the same day. I am gutted. The flights are just not there. I need a magic wand, or some divine help from Big Guy to pull this one off Bollockeers xx
Watching the highlights of the Brighton/Liverpool game when the 'Seagulls' nearly scored & my copy went a bit wayward......Bit of deleting thereafter when pasted..... Elise...xx... don't think they do bacon butties at the R.T. centre,but is a free car park..(limited space) & free water,& nice radiologists........ & no one's called Jason either.......pmsl
Phew.....so glad to see you here John. Don't do that to us again you bugger! lol.
By the way, I am sooo pleased to hear you don't have a 'Jason' on your RT team. My RT days were the happiest days of the struggle......but if I'd had a Jason instead of a bevy of beautiful girls I'd have escaped after the second session, never mind staying till the 37th! LMAO
Elise, I know how gutted you must feel about the impossible travel situation, You really would need divine help to solve this one. It's hard enough for me travelling from the Grim North to London and back in a day, never mind from Cork to Middelsborough!
PS. I guess I have been typing your mom's name again as I slumber at the keyboard?? Do you think I may need professional help? PMSL
Just heard from James....He was supposed to be on a flight from Brum back home at 5pm, delayed to 7pm, now delayed to 845pm......WTF !!!!????? I could cry here xx
Morning all......A nice day darn Sarth today........Off to Brighton for my weekly 'fry up' a little later...
ReplyDeleteLeave you some wise sayings.....lol
ZEN Teachings
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow.. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone..
2. Sex is like air. It's not that important unless you aren't getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet..
6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
7. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience .. and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass .... then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
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Heyyyyyyyyyyy WTF!!!
ReplyDeleteJohn? Are you OK??????
You'd better make contact with us a.s.a.p.
We all think you slumped unconscious (or legless) after Zen 20 and your nose hit 'submit' on the keyboard!!
Or is that huge long white space just a trick to keep us guessing????
....maybe he took his own advice on number 20 George !? PMSL ! GOOD LUCK JOHN ! xx Bacon butties in the offing or what ?! xx
ReplyDeleteGeorge xx You know I love you......BUT ! WTF is it with you and my mother eh ?! xx
I have been all over the internet, and I cannot get over for Big Guys funeral and back in the same day. I am gutted. The flights are just not there. I need a magic wand, or some divine help from Big Guy to pull this one off Bollockeers xx
ReplyDeleteGeorge,
ReplyDeleteWatching the highlights of the Brighton/Liverpool game when the 'Seagulls' nearly scored & my copy went a bit wayward......Bit of deleting thereafter when pasted.....
Elise...xx... don't think they do bacon butties at the R.T. centre,but is a free car park..(limited space) & free water,& nice radiologists........
& no one's called Jason either.......pmsl
OFGS !!! Dont raise my BP like that John ! xx bacon buttie....mmmmmm....would kill for one now dude ! xx
ReplyDeletePhew.....so glad to see you here John. Don't do that to us again you bugger! lol.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, I am sooo pleased to hear you don't have a 'Jason' on your RT team.
My RT days were the happiest days of the struggle......but if I'd had a Jason instead of a bevy of beautiful girls I'd have escaped after the second session, never mind staying till the 37th! LMAO
Elise, I know how gutted you must feel about the impossible travel situation, You really would need divine help to solve this one.
It's hard enough for me travelling from the Grim North to London and back in a day, never mind from Cork to Middelsborough!
PS. I guess I have been typing your mom's name again as I slumber at the keyboard??
Do you think I may need professional help? PMSL
George xx You are way beyond even my help at this stage dude ! ROFLMFAO ! xx
ReplyDeleteAssuming the funeral is Thursday, can't do Friday, can you get to Luton or East midlands Elise ?
ReplyDeleteHiya Chris xx Re;- phone call, no can do....so gutted, but I am certain you will all say good bye from me xx
ReplyDeleteWe will certainly say a GOOD BYE on your behalf, Elise
ReplyDeleteI think, George, you're beond all help, slumbering at the keyboard indeed!!
I like your 20 Zens, John, what happened to the remainder of the page, I kept hoping a picture would appear !!!
CXhris.
Thanks Chris xx
ReplyDeleteJust heard from James....He was supposed to be on a flight from Brum back home at 5pm, delayed to 7pm, now delayed to 845pm......WTF !!!!????? I could cry here xx
George xx You have some SERIOUS catching up to do here ! Big Guy would have answered me by now !! Come on, get with the program ! GEEZUS !!!!! xx
ReplyDelete....still waiting George....... hey Big Guy xx Have a word please, George is letting the side down here xx
ReplyDelete