Good Morning/Evening weekenders,
,,Battleship grey skies and cool here on Teesside "Happy 1st August!"LOL
Strange dreams in the early hours of George's hairless pussy!
,,I am hoping for a prettier post from him this morning,,,,Perhaps something like>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Have a Great weekend Folks,
Cheers
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a Doctor!".
"Listen, don't waste your time down at the surgery," Mike
replies. "There's a new diagnostic computer at Tesco Pharmacy.
Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you
what's wrong, and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid.....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and
you get Club card points."
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to
Tesco. He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and
asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks."
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled.
He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine
samples from his wife and daughter and the cat, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He deposited five pounds, poured in his concoction, and awaited the results.
The computer printed the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your cat's having kittens. Get a vet.
3) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
4) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
5) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a
lawyer.
6) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will
never get better.
Grey and damp here too, and I'm NOT talking trousers!! : )~
ReplyDeleteWel, I WAS going to post a 'prettier' picture today but multiply says NO.
I guess I wll have to do as Phil recommended and install the Multiply later today.
AUGUST 1st - and Khan has made it to his 13th birthday. What a miracle! Nine months ago the vet said it looked like it was all over for him.
A lesson for us all. Excess heart meds were actually killing him, and when we asked that he be kept to the bare minimum dose he started to recover.
Now he eats like a horse (a side effect of steroids), coughs like a heavy smoker, but all in all is a pretty happy dog. Can't walk far because of arthritis, but at least he sleeps comfortably downstairs everynight meaning Lynn and I don't have to endure the 'dog-in-a bag' hoist up those steep stairs at bedtime.
OUR old bones couldn't have lasted out much longer! lol
A fresh new month, so let's all try not to screw this one up! : }~
Hi George. So glad to read that Khan is well on the recovery road. Since Sandra is on heart meds too, must make sure she's on the minimum required..:-)))
ReplyDelete