Mornin 'all.
Geeez, the thought of Phil in a thong has really put me off my food today.
I bet he's off to Scarborough beach to terrorise the locals.
I'm sure he only wears that thing to clear the beach, leaving him and Hilary to bask in glorious tranquility!
Ok, here goes, trying yet again to post a Pussy Pic.
If I don't succeed then I'll know it's all part of a sinister plot by Multiply.
/Evening all,............Hilary off today so we're throwing our thongs in the car and heading for the beach to enjoy the HOT rays forecast today.
There is a pub almost on the beach within flip flop flapping distance just in case we need rehydrating!
Enjoy the sunshine while it's here(Next is forecast in 2014!)
Cheers
WHY CONDOMS COME IN BOXES OF 3, 6, AND 12
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the Boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?' To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.''
Oh I see,' replied the boy.' Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.' He looks over the display and picks up a Package of 3 and asks, 'Why are there 3 in this package?'
The dad replies, 'Those are for high schoolboys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one For Sunday.
'Cool' says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?'
Those are for college men,' the dad answers,
'TWO for Friday, TWO for Saturday and TWO for Sunday.'
'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 Pack.
With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 'Those are for Married men... One for January, one for February, one for March..
Hot and muggy again here in the Midlands today.
I tried to be friendly with next door neighbours cat by hosing him down whilst watering the flowers.
I think he liked it!!
Good Morning/Evening Bollockeers,warm and "Muggy"here this a.m.
I will be taking in some Wimbledon tennis this afta, as I am a keen fashion follower and take a professional interest in the ladies latest trends!
Still don't think Murray will beat be Federer but hoped to be proved wrong.
Hot weather forecast for the next few days,so I will be fishing out the kids old paddling pool to keep my beer cool in the garden
Hope they're right and we all get some brighter weather.
Enjoy your Monday,
Cheers
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G'day Good Peeps and WELCOME HOME PHIL
Thanks for the tobacco leaves, 'fresh??' from Amsterdam, LMAO
Oh yesssss, I finally understand why old timers preferred chewing their baccy to smoking it!! Why did no one tell me this 40 years ago?
I'm off to look at all those photos now. It's stupid innit?...I live near the ferry terminal and have never bothered doing the crossing!
It's now going towards the top of my 'To Do' list.
Back in one piece(Almost),,Got ya twolips as ordered George,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,enjoy!!,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Nice to be back at sea again,,perfect cabin beneath the bridge overlooking the bow,,(See pics posted),,
Great weather,,took in Anne Frank's house?Museum,,,canal cruise and lunch ,,Van Gogh Museum and some interesting window shopping!!LOL
Had to pop in one of the "Coffee shops"Hilary didn't quite get the strange aroma(Bless!)and was all set to order some of the "Tasty looking cakes"until I explained their content!
Good food on board,,,I had no luck at the casino but Hilary won £100 while we were watching a show as she was sat in the "Lucky seat!"
George,, I got you some of the baccy leaves you asked for(See pic )
but you will have to pick em yourself and what you do after that is up to you!!
Just off to check what mischief you have been up to,,,Have a Great weekend,
Cheers!
Good moaning peeps,
After a horrible, dark, very wet, totally gloomy Friday (matched all the sad news) I think we can all say...
TFI SATURDAY!!
And today sees the returns of the old sea dog himself, Phil.
Can't wait to see what pressies he's brought back!
"Two? Lips From Amsterdam"
What a time for celebrity bad news too. I was really saddened to hear of Farrah Fawcett's passing yesterday, then was shocked when my youngest told me as soon as I woke this morning that Michael Jackson had died, just 50. Geeeeeez!
Multiply has decided to let me post properly again today, so I'll show you this latest photo HOT from Phil's digital camera in Amsterdam - Guess his first port of call was the famous 'Red Light District':
It seems he's having a whale of a time
while
Hilary "Shops for England"
LOL
I guess Phil may be en route to Amsterdam as I type this. Indeed he may be passing through my town this very moment (I did hear police sirens).
We are blessed with a third day of glorious sunshine here on Tyneside, and Wimbledon enjoys a sunny week for a change. Speaking of which...have you seen this pic of a 'ball girl' at the Madrid Masters Tennis tournament?
Very NICE, but take a peek at those legs. What has she been lying on? Wonder what she was doing? Can you read the print on her legs?? LMAO
By the way, we have a secret posting spot for risque tennis pics. Very shocking stuff. Look for the post " George's Balls', where Phil and Mike are being VERY BAD!!
Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Folks,,,Nice to see Judy sharing her "Outlook on life!"LOL,,Go Girl!!xx
Tootling over the North Sea tomorrow to have a brief nosey round Amsterdam and to check out their Bols!!,,,back Saturday ..
Got some Euros yesterday(Still looks like Monopoly money to me and the same size!!
)
Enjoy your Tuesday,,Cya
Cheers
ALERT STATES The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats in Islamabad and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." Brits have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.
The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country's military capability. It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.
Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."
The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."
Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .
The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.
Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.
And on the other side of the globe ...
New Zealand has also raised its security levels from "baaa" to "BAAAA!" Due to continuing defence cutbacks, the airforce being down to a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy just a few toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath, New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Austrilia will cimm ind riscue us".
Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate." Four more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!" "We've run out of snags for the barbie," "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbies cancelled!" There has not been a situation yet that has warranted the use of this final escalation level.
