Saturday, 26 September 2009

Saturday Sun.

 /Evening Fellow Bollockeers,Looks like a touch of Indian Summer has arrived just in time for the weekend,Outdoor pursuits beckon but alas the Singapore Grand Prix quallifying prevails today(Luckily!)

Curry night seem to go down well but I think the Andrex puppy will be busy this morning!

The following marriage advice is posted at the insistance of "Uncle George"as an informative piece meant for our younger members about to embark on the serene cruise that is married life,,(If you believe that you can plait fog!!)LOL....

How a marriage works

All men should read this!!!

 

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies ...

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife..

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

So he stayed home............ ......and, they lived happily ever after.


Now, isn't that a sweet story?

 

10 comments:

  1. LMAO. I have never in my life seen that joke before!! lol lol
    Phil tells porkies ; )~

    It's a BRIGHT and SUNNY Saturday, but I think indoor pursuits are in store for me too.

    This is true....I am going to reduce the size of my organ - in fact I am goint to completely dismantle it.

    I'll be sorry to lose the old wooden thing, but it really is time I had a smaller, cleverer one that can do more tricks! (at my advanced old age).

    Food for thought, or what? PMSL

    Have a Grrrrrrrrrrreat day folks!!

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  2. George,,your piece above gives me sooooooooo many opportunites to comment on you organ size but I am biting my tongue, and all I will say is that I am sure Lynn will be glad to see your organ finally leave the bedroom and don't be embarrassed by your small one,(It may not be big but I am sure it is pretty??) and can we have some pics of you performing tricks with it please!!

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  3. Phil, good thinking to just ask George for pictures.
    The last thing we want is a video with sound of George playing with his new organ.

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  4. Mike, I DO have a picture - but it's of me and the mess I got into dismantling the huge bloody thing.
    It's very very embarrassing, so if I send it to you - DON'T SHOW KATH! : )~

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  5. Mike make sure you have eaten first!!!!!!!It made Hilary choke on her bacon sandwich!LMAO

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  6. I'm having serious doubts about sending anybody that photo.

    If I send it to Mike, I'd also have to send it to Keith.
    They would be BOUND to show it to Kath and Nette, and then before I knew it there would be TWO 'Florence Nightingales' dashing up the A1 to soothe my brusing - and Kath IS a nurse - and I have this terrible premonition of the pair of them (on Nette's tandem) pulling into my driveway. LOL

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  7. Hmmmm maybe not such a bad thing George???LOL

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  8. PMSL

    BLOODY BRILLIANT.


    Send them 'oop north' NOW,
    LOL

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  9. I dont think she is sitting on a saddle either!!!LOL

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  10. LMAO,

    Man, you must have looked CLOSELY!!!! PMSL

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