December 2009: Crazy Gang Day Out?

Hi Folks,

As you know, some of the B2PCa cazy gang have have met up in December for lunch in London for the past few years.
This year we reckon it's time to move the venue further up the country....this time to Birmingham, (Eventually we will trap you all in the Grim North East, or even more scary - Scotland!!

Grant is away for all of October, so this year the planning will be down to Mike (who lives near Birmingham) and myself.

If anyone is interested in a day out there in the week commencing Mon 14 December, please let us know on here, or mail me at georgehardy51@msn.com.


Cheeeeeeeeeeers


George

Thinking of Judy and Mick today.

Good morning /Evening Folks,My thoughts today are for dear Judy on the day of Mick's funeral.

No words I know can comfort her at this time but I hope she knows how much we all care,,,,we'll be with you in spirit Judy,

Lots of love and hugs,

God Bless, Mick

Phil and Hilary xxx

 

Tuesday: Hossy 4 Me 2

G'd Moanin' Folks.

It's my 'biggie' appointment with oncologist today and I'm hoping to post some cheering news later. As for Phil....did he say he was going to hospital for a check on his hand-job prowess?

Mmmm, just WHAT did your physiotherapy involve, Phil???????

Have a mischievous day good peeps!

Tuesday hossy.

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,grey start to the day here and some colder weather in store I hear,off to hossy for a hand check up after my op,,although no need as I have enjoyed exercising it any opportunity I get!

Saw some footage of the terrible floods in the Phillipines and hope Don and his family have escaped the worse.

Enjoy you day Folks,

Cheers

The doc told a man that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it."
He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered and alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he reailized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck.
Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"
He heard, "This is the police. What the hell are you doing?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted."
The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too, because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

Cancer crusade

Don't know if any of you subscribe to the Cancer Crusade newsletter.  It is sent out every Friday and sometimes has some real gems of wisdom.  The attached one  (if it actually is attached!) brought a tear to my eye.

My son David is doing the New York marathon in November in memory of a friend of his who died in a car crash on the same day as the marathon last year.  He is running with the lads dad who is also my son in laws business partner, very incestuous down south.

David is raising funds for Prostate cancer fortunately because of me not in memory of me.

Perhaps we should follow him round on the tandem but not sure we could keep up with him

Attachment: You gain strength 26miles.docx

Monday already?

Good Morning/Evening Peeps,Monday already?where did the weekend go??,,Peace reigns once more in the Hardy household as George can no longer play with his organ in the bedroom,it does seem a bit extreme however to have it crushed!!,,OUCH!!LOL

Tootling over to Hartlepool Marina today to have a nosey round and check out my next power cruiser,,got closer to the Lotto Jackpot on Saturday,,just six numbers away!

Enjoy your Monday and have a great week

Cheers

James Bond

James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "State-of-the-art watch? What is so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically," Bond explains. "So what's it telling you now?" says the woman. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties," Bond replies. The woman giggles and says, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."

 

 

Monday: No sign of the tandem girls

Good Mooning Good Peeps,

I slept very restlessly last night, but I needn't have worried. There was no ominous rattling of bike chain,  so I guess Phil didn't spill the beans to Kath and Nette.

Folks, if you didn't read 'Saturday Sun' here, then you won't have a clue what I'm talking about (nothing new there then, lol).

All I can say is I'm a VERY relieved guy this morning,
(Even if my organ is in the crusher as I type!!)

Sunday Bliss!

Good Morning/Evening Happy Campers(Yeah right!LOL),,Indian Summer seemed to last all of one day here as we're back to a grey cloudy morning.

Perfect day instore for Philip with Hilary off out for the day with Sherri,,just me my pussy, the Singapore Grand Prix and a good supply of Mojito's ,,Bliss!!!

Hope your day is equally "Stress free"apart from George who we know will riding shot gun with all his lovely Grandkids!Awwwwwwwwww LOL

Cheers

Taxi Fare

One rainy spring night in Belfast, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat. 'Where to?' he stammered. 'Falls Road,' answered the woman. 'OK,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the feck are you looking at?' 'Well lady ', replied the driver, 'I noticed that you're completely naked, and I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.' The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver, pointed to her fanny and said, 'Does THIS answer your question?' Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Have you not got anything smaller?

Saturday Sun.

 /Evening Fellow Bollockeers,Looks like a touch of Indian Summer has arrived just in time for the weekend,Outdoor pursuits beckon but alas the Singapore Grand Prix quallifying prevails today(Luckily!)

Curry night seem to go down well but I think the Andrex puppy will be busy this morning!

The following marriage advice is posted at the insistance of "Uncle George"as an informative piece meant for our younger members about to embark on the serene cruise that is married life,,(If you believe that you can plait fog!!)LOL....

How a marriage works

All men should read this!!!

 

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies ...

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, honey bunch?' asked the wife..

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She went and opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India ,etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?'

She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

So he stayed home............ ......and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

 

Fridaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ffffffine.

Morning/Evening Bollockeers on this Ffffffine Friday morning,,,Thanks Grant for your comment on society funny(Twice!LOL) previous post.

George glad you managed to hook up with Chris and Shirley and thanks for the the pic, although sounds like your Box Brownie is a tad complicated to use.

Curry night in the Thommo household tonite,so I will be trying to utilise every every pan and ingredient we have in the kitchen,during my "bum burner" creation(Sorry George),, and to stimulate my creative juices,,a glass or three of firewater.

One for George,,,,,,

http://1funny.com/colonoscopies/

Enjoy your Friday Peeps and have a Great weekend!

Hmmm.........
-------------------------

A very old couple that have been married forever are sitting on their porch one night.
Suddenly, the old woman reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off the porch
and into the bushes.

He crawls back up and asks, "What was that for?"

She says, "For having a little pecker."

He sits there quietly a moment, then smacks her, sending her off the other side of the porch and
into the bushes. She crawls back and asks, "What was that for?"

He replies, "For knowing there was more than one size."

 

 

It's not what you know, but HOW you tell it, that gets results

Couldn't resist this one:

George Phillips, an elderly man, from Meridian, Mississippi, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing his things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No, but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me."

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay." He hung up the phone …and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them anymore because I just shot them…" and he hung up.

Within three and a half minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, an Ambulance, a Paramedic-van and two Fire Trucks showed up at the Phillips' residence ---and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George with some irritation, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!" 

Thursday: Who's a crappy photographer?

G'd Moanin All

On Tuesday night Chris and Shirley from France were passing through my town as they toured the UK on vacation.

As luck would have it, hospital plans etc. all fitted into place and allowed Lynn and I the time to meet them both for a meal on Tuesday evening.

It was real pleasure to spend time with them both - a truly nice couple.

Now.... it had taken me a full year to get used to my new camera, and then the bugger developed a fault (one day before the warranty expired) and I had to find a replacement. The thing was - I couldn't get the same model, so had to chose another type.

You ALL know me by now, I am a technophobe and all the technical jargon in the manual was just 'Greek' to me. (Hey, maybe it WAS? lol).
To cut a long story short, I made a real cock-up on practically every photo taken on Chris and Shirley's visit.

Even Lynn's normally very steady hands produced blurred photos. I guess I had all the settings wrong!

LMAO -( Have you ever read an excuse as long-winded as this sorry tale?)

Anyway, Chris and Shirely had two cameras with them that night so I can only hope they send me some REALLY good pics.
In the meantime, I leave you with one photo of a competent photographer, in contemplative mood as he plans his next shot carefully!

Ladies and Gents, I give you....

Monsieur Christopher Butcher On Tour
(The Tyneside Pit-Stop)