NEEED A DISTRACTION URGENTLY........
THAT'LL DO....LMAO.....
VAL'S THINKING OF TAKING UP CYCLING ,WHAT WITH THE TOUR OF FRANCE,& TEAM G.B's OLYMPIC SUCCESS WE'VE HAD...........SOOOOOO THOUGHT I COULD KILL 'TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE',SO TO SPEAK.....
JUST A THOUGHT.!!!
WELL ITS BEEN A SAD SAD TIME,BUT I KNOW MARK WOULD WANT US TO CARRY ON REGARDLESS.....SO BE IT.!!........ONE OLDIE FROM MARK THAT TICKLED ME AT THE TIME.!!!...
A Vicar books into a hotel and says to the receptionist " I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled!"
She replies "No sir, It's just regular porn, you sick bast@rd"
HAVE A GREAT DAY ALL......LOCAL CLUB & FOOTIE FOR ME...CHEERS.!!
AUSSIE OUTBACK
A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside.
Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink.' crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his Johnson and related parts in the crocodile's open mouth. The croc closed his mouth as the crowd gasped. After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and smacked the crocodile hard on the top of its head.
The croc opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered, and the first of his free drinks was delivered.
The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the room, A 'blonde' woman timidly spoke up.......... 'I'll try it - but please don't hit me so hard with the beer bottle!'.
......
Fabulous jokes, John.....and you're right.....THE FUN MUST GO ON!
ReplyDeleteDid you know the reason why we all had to wear black ties and formal funeral attire for Mark's service?
He had told Debs and the girls ages ago that he wanted to surprise and confuse us all if the day ever arrived.
He hated wearing suits and ties, and liked nothing better than his outrageously colourful Hawaiian shirts, so he thought he'd make us suffer while he looked down laughing at us all.
Now why does that not surprise me?
NICE ONE MARK!
Well, as well as being wet wet wet, it's also busy busy busy in Jarrow yet again.
ReplyDeleteWe're fleeing from Geordieland later today but will be back on Monday.
I may even bring home some stunning, sexy sheep photos for James (I can't thank him enough for relieving me of the Sheep Crown).
PMSL
Here's something to get him started in his new role:
And I must post these for John..as a thank you for such a good opening post this morning.
ReplyDeleteJohn (king of 'The Ass Men')...JUST FOR YOU:
I hope your footie day goes better than mine.
It's so wet here that Sunderland's match has been called off.
And there was me expecting a 7 - 0 thrashing of Reading today, duh!
The difference between me and the Jarrow Marrow, is that for the injection, I would use a needle - as opposed to anything else to hand. :-)
ReplyDeleteMind you currently, I would love to have the ability, despite drinking copious amounts of different lager, I still haven't found the one that refreshes parts other beers can't reach. Considering electric shock therapy, just put the required battery on charge (should be ready later)...
But James.....but but but but BUTT.....why on earth would you need to inject the sheep??
ReplyDeleteDo they find you scary?
I never had that problem back in my old mutton days. ROFLMBO
Well George, we cannot all be such a stud such as yourself... lol
ReplyDeleteYou should see what I have to do to have sex with the wife!
And what do you mean, back in the old mutton days... From what I've heard on the grapevine, you are still very active....
James? The grapevine??
ReplyDeleteYou've been chatting to too many wine soaked sheep! They blame me for everything...even their addiction to booze, LMAO
In cooking you are meant to marinade the lamb/sheep after they have been killed, not when they are still walking around.
ReplyDeleteGeorge captured on film chatting up another lass.
Change of subject (about time too).
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope that come this time tomorrow, my team isn't in the same position as it is currently.... I mean, I know we are strong, but to be holding up the other 19 teams...
I'm putting a fiver on West Brom to win the league this season.
ReplyDeleteSound like a VERY safe bet to me!
You're soooooo reckless with your money Mike........pmsl...
ReplyDeleteGood result against Spurs though,& a great start for 'The Baggies'in the league....
I think the Baggies only have Sunderland to worry about as they race neck and neck to the title. lol
ReplyDelete