Bank Holiday Monday

Good morning campers!

This is really going to confuse my brain, as Tuesday will now feel like a Monday, and when I get over that shock, Friday will be here and it'll be another weekend. Damm, anymore of this and it'll be like I've retired.

On a good news front, my team didn't lose yesterday, merely gifted the Mancs two goals though. Hopefully, this show of charity will disappear in the next game.

Now for some jokes..
A man walked into a bank, got in line and when it was his turn he pulled out a gun and robs the bank. 
But just to make sure he leaves no witnesses, he turns around and asks the next customer in line: 
'Did you see me Rob this Bank?' 
The customer replies 'Well, yes!' 
The bank robber raises his gun, points it at his head and shoots him. 
He quickly moves to the next customer in line and says to the man, 
'DID ... YOU ... SEE ... ME ... ROB... THIS... BANK?' 
The man calmly responds, 'No, but my wife did.' 


My wife who is blonde came running up to me in the driveway the other day, just jumping for joy!
I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"I said, "Great. Tell me what you're so happy about."
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told me that she was pregnant! I was ecstatic!
We had been trying for a while, so I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, she said "Oh, honey, There's more."I asked, "What do you mean 'more'?"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to Have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Tesco and bought the twin-pack home pregnancy test kit and both tests came out positive!"


In the week before the Bank Holiday, Alan, a poor country farmer called won £1,480,000 in the Lottery. As a treat he took his wife and their four children to see the sites of London.
They booked into the Park Lane Hilton. Having never been further than their local town, Malton in Yorkshire they were bowled over by glitz and excitement of the big city.
Alan and his son Sam were especially mesmerised by a shiny box with silver walls. They had never before met with doors that could move apart, and then automatically come back together again. Neither had seen an elevator [lift] before.
Therefore, they were amazed when a little old lady entered the shiny box and the door closed. The lights outside on the wall flashed for a minute, then the doors opened and out came a beautiful young woman.
Alan turned to his son Sam and said, 'Son, go get your mother.'