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Satruday morning in Melbourne - foggy and cold!
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, they issued him a comb. That afternoon they barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, they issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
Came across another one that you folk might enjoy:
ReplyDeleteA lady is shopping in a supermarket when she notices this handsome muscular boy doing the bagging at one of the checkouts.
Making sure she goes through his line she leans over and asks if he'll carry her groceries out to which he responds, "Sure lady."
They no sooner get out of the store and she again leans over and whispers, "You know, I have an Itchy Pussy."
He responds, "You'll have to point it out to me lady, all those Japanese cars look alike!!
!!!! Hi Terry. Is it good morning or good night. Love the jokes. Off to bed now. May regret the white wine in the morning!!!!
ReplyDeletelots of love
bev
G'day Terry.....you are up early ! George has had his Horlicks, and has been in bed since 7pm....needs his beauty sleep these days ! PMSL ! xx
ReplyDeleteMorning girls xx & G'day Terry...
ReplyDeleteJust a couple of 'old' Oz jokes......hooroo.!!
Bruce is driving over the Sydney Harbour Bridge one day when he sees his girlfriend, Sheila about to throw herself off. Bruce slams on the brakes and yells, "Sheila, what the hell d'ya think you're doing?"
Sheila turns around with a tear in her eye and says, "G'day Bruce. Ya got me pregnant and so now I'm gonna kill myself."
Bruce gets a lump in his throat when he hears this. He says "Strewth Sheila, not only are you a great shag, but you're a real sport too," then drives off.
Two Aussie blokes were down at the front fence of the cricket match when the beer cans started flying. One of them was so concerned about being hit he kept looking over his shoulder and couldn't really concentrate on the game.
"Don't worry," said his mate. "As they said in the war, if there's one with your name on it..."
"That's just it," said his friend. "My name's Foster!"!!
Good ones. I guess you'd know the Aus definition of foreplay?
ReplyDelete"Brace yourself, Sheila!"
haha.......here's another couple
ReplyDeleteWhat do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
Throw in a load of laundry.
Q. What's an Australian kiss?
A. The same as a French kiss, only down under!
hooroo
An Australian kiss?? LMAO
ReplyDeleteI hope you realise the North East of England Muff Diving Championships start 1st August.
I'm determined to keep my title (for the 9th consecutive year) - and THAT'S the reason I spend so long ducking under the duvet.
Nothing to do with Horlicks and the need for beauty sleep. What a load of Borlicks! That's just Elise trying to wind me up! lol
The following photos have absolutely no relevance and are quite pointless (errrmmm, probably a misnomer there!).....
but that's just me trying to wind up MULTIPLY!
I wonder how that lot slipped by the Photobucket Police??? LMAO
ReplyDelete