ECKY THUMP ITS COLD !!!!
The Weathermen said it wouldn't freeze last night, the bollix.....Does my car LOOK like its ready to drive and NOT FROZEN ?? !!
Morning all. How are you this FREEZING COLD morning? Hog -Tied Phil so that I could post the daily bulletin...sorry about that Big Guy
HOWEVER, wanted to say a great big
GOOD LUCK BIG GUY !!
for later on this afta' when you go and see the Quacks. Really do hope that the news is good for you, and that you end up on the Wagon, with no more 'Juice' needed....apart from the Balvenie that is !!
Request From Mr Hardy...
George was on the phone to me at the weekend, crying like a girlie. Why was our illustrious leader so upset? Had Phil nicked his Fashion Dress Up Barbie again? Was he banned from Jarrow Whippet Fanciers Club...again...? [don't ask]
It would appear, that our B2PCA Calendar is not exactly up to date. There are a load of Birthdays, special events, strange occasions, weird diary events, Base jumping dates, Parachuting events, Skydiving Madness...well, you get the picture, that are not on the grid STS.
So, George has asked [between the heart breaking sobs] if I would mind posting a request for any/all of the above to be filled in on the Calendar please dudes [he somehow thinks that I will be able to persuade you all.....or else.......]
You can fill the date in yourself, by going to B2PCA 'Home' tab, scroll down to Calendar, then click on 'add event'. Alternatively, email any of us with the date and event and we will add to the Calendar. Don't forget that this is a private, members only site, so only WE all have access to this information.
So go on, make a Duck happy, and for gods sake, please think of my sanity! "I canna take any more Cap'n" A grown Geordie sobbing down the phone EVERY night is doing my head in dudes !!!!
Will leave the daily joke to Big Guy, as I am crap at them. Besides, his are a bit ruder !
Have a great one people !
The Weathermen said it wouldn't freeze last night, the bollix.....Does my car LOOK like its ready to drive and NOT FROZEN ?? !!
Morning all. How are you this FREEZING COLD morning? Hog -Tied Phil so that I could post the daily bulletin...sorry about that Big Guy
HOWEVER, wanted to say a great big
GOOD LUCK BIG GUY !!
for later on this afta' when you go and see the Quacks. Really do hope that the news is good for you, and that you end up on the Wagon, with no more 'Juice' needed....apart from the Balvenie that is !!
Request From Mr Hardy...
George was on the phone to me at the weekend, crying like a girlie. Why was our illustrious leader so upset? Had Phil nicked his Fashion Dress Up Barbie again? Was he banned from Jarrow Whippet Fanciers Club...again...? [don't ask]
It would appear, that our B2PCA Calendar is not exactly up to date. There are a load of Birthdays, special events, strange occasions, weird diary events, Base jumping dates, Parachuting events, Skydiving Madness...well, you get the picture, that are not on the grid STS.
So, George has asked [between the heart breaking sobs] if I would mind posting a request for any/all of the above to be filled in on the Calendar please dudes [he somehow thinks that I will be able to persuade you all.....or else.......]
You can fill the date in yourself, by going to B2PCA 'Home' tab, scroll down to Calendar, then click on 'add event'. Alternatively, email any of us with the date and event and we will add to the Calendar. Don't forget that this is a private, members only site, so only WE all have access to this information.
So go on, make a Duck happy, and for gods sake, please think of my sanity! "I canna take any more Cap'n" A grown Geordie sobbing down the phone EVERY night is doing my head in dudes !!!!
Will leave the daily joke to Big Guy, as I am crap at them. Besides, his are a bit ruder !
Have a great one people !
Morning Elise xx,,PMSL at your post!!!,,yeah I'm lurking for a while,,before heading off.....
ReplyDeleteHave a good un',,,catch ya later....
I topical cricket one for ya!..............
A lady walked into a Police Station and the desk Sergeant said "Can I help you?"
"Yes" she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault".
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road" she replied.
"Can you describe what happened?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me"
"Could you give me a description of him?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt and he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg".
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman", said the Sergeant.
"Yes", said the lady, "He was an Aussie Cricketer".
"That's very observant", said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from his accent?"
"No", she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very long".
Morning Big Guy. Best of British today. Thanks for the joke, knew you would have one handy [!] .....If I knew ANYTHING about Cricket, I may have found that even funnier ! xx
ReplyDeleteMorning all....Phil my Aussie cousin will love that one mate...!
ReplyDeleteAll the best for later....My own Onco meet is in two weeks,where i be coming off the zoly,if bloods are good,& push & scream for scans.(as 2 years since last one's).Just in case you didn't post soon was to add my own joke...so will anyway.!!.
Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.....
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage.
Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
He bent over to pick it up..........and all the other bells started to ring..!!!!!!
.
Thanks Sweetie,,xx....took me a while to escape your "Hog tying!" :)...your knots were way tooooo tight,,,,Hmm there's another joke,,the sailor and the prostitute and the three knots,,,I'm sure someone will fill in the blanks for ya if ya don't know it?....,,,gotta go take her Ladyship for a coiffeur!!
ReplyDeleteCya later xx
Morning John we were composing at the same time!!..So the Sweetie wasn't meant for you! LOL
ReplyDeleteFingers crossed you can ditch the Zoly!!!!
Cheers!!
Morning John.....good luck getting off of that Zoly' ..... Great joke...me thinks a little too near the truth here in Holy Catholic Ireland.... !!!! WHERE do all you Guys get them from...the jokes that is !? xx
ReplyDeleteHey Big Guy...sorry about the knots...Was an Orthopaedic Nurse for years in London...had to put a lot of people in Traction.....guess I never forgot the technique ! XX
ReplyDeleteHi Elise...My cousin in Oz is where most of my jokes come from...She was a nurse too.!!!..Must be something about nursing that shapes your humour,or perhaps its other way round...In any case we're in contact most days..! xx
ReplyDeleteHey John, not too certain that the jokes I know would be appreciated.....Medical humour really only works with other medics ! Have a good one ! XX
ReplyDeleteBlimey Elise, I'm going to have to get special contact lenses to read that font!!! It would have been easier in Braile! :-)
ReplyDeleteAh that's better on a black background! x
ReplyDeleteMorning Dan, nice of you to join us ! I guess you were reading from the email notification ? WRONG ANSWER ! Our illustrious leader desgined the site with a black background, so any posts have to stand out against that.....it don't work on a white background dude, so no, contacts are okay ! xx
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of which...our illustrious leader is definitely LURKING this morning..... Morning George, wipe away the tears and join us dude ! xx
ReplyDeleteinsertMulTV('bollockstopca:video:49','upload-bollockstopca-49','');
ReplyDeleteNice one Dan ! Have a great day yourself too ! xx
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder how I ended up in this MADHOUSE!
ReplyDeleteElise? I was not lurking. I was hiding in a dark cupboard, (as Mike often does), sobbing.
Somehow you got inside my car last night, and took that photo. BUT, you never popped in to see me!
And I have to take issue with your post. That was NOT ME on the phone to you over the weekend, you twit!
That must have been my Afghani mate Osama Bin Liner. He's a cook at my favourite curry house in Ocean Road, South Shields, the curry capital of England. He's a real joker, as you can see:
Yes folks, we want some more of these:
SO GET YOUR BIRTHDAYS ON OUR LIST FOLKS. OR I'LL GET ELISE ON TO YOU!
She has a licence to Thrill...Ooooops, now what made me say that..I meant KILL Ya!
George, you are the most unique person I have ever had the pleasure to know.......still gotta meet ya, so I will reserve that for June ! And BTW you were lurking, and I ain't saying where either ! Here's a little something for all you footie fans...proper soccer !
ReplyDeletehttp://il.youtube.com/watch?v=dJStCJ2PFnM&feature=related
BTW he is wearing GREAT shoes.......I just bet they are JIMMY CHOO !? xx
ReplyDeleteJust heard that another person who I have been in contact with for a number of months has lost his father to PCa.......when will this awful disease be got rid of ? Its an awful start to the New Year so far, and I for one am pretty fed up now
ReplyDeleteNo idea Elise.....but think PCC should be more pro active,& lobby government more......Too many men are being diagnosed when too late,where screening would undeniably reduce deaths....It won't happen soon though.....i despair....!!!!?
ReplyDeleteCan't argue with you there John. This man who died, was told in November by his Onco that he was terminal. It hadn't been spelt out in so many words before then, of which the family were grateful This Cowboy decided that the truth was what was needed......poor beggar just gave up after that. That cannot be right. xx
ReplyDeleteSome of us were told years ago Elise that we were "Terminal"and given the DS 1500 form,,(six months or less to live) .....just shows they don't know it all and my motto "It's not written in stone"has stood me in good stead....
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about your friends Dad,and how it was handled,,,as you know there really are some prize ar**holes out there posing as Doctors!! xx
Couldn't agree more Big Guy....for some unknown reason the buggers are all allowed to work in Oncology.......I could be very smart and cynical here, but I am a Lady after all ....!!
ReplyDeleteXX
I'll drink to that Sweetie!! LOL
ReplyDeleteSlainte xx