Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Tuesday already?

Morning George,,Good luck with the tests and Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,,,Time for a cuppa after early morning taxi duties

Of course tonight we will be sipping the malt and honouring the haggis(Hi Elise xx)LOL,,,for Burns night,,,well one out of two aint bad,,

Speaking of Haggis this looks more like a shot of a whisky and a prostate?...PMSL

 

The Haggis address by the great Jewish/Scottish poet Rabbi Burns... 

Address To A Haggis...

 Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face, Great chieftain o' the puddin-race! Aboon them a' ye tak your place, Painch, tripe, or thairm: Weel are ye wordy o' a grace As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill, Your hurdies like a distant hill, Your pin wad help to mend a mill In time o' need, While thro' your pores the dews distil Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight, An' cut you up wi' ready sleight, Trenching your gushing entrails bright, Like ony ditch; And then, O what a glorious sight, Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive: Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive, Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve, Are bent lyke drums; Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive, "Bethankit!" 'hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout Or olio that wad staw a sow, Or fricassee wad mak her spew Wi' perfect sconner, Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him ower his trash, As feckless as a wither'd rash, His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash, His nieve a nit; Thro' bloody flood or field to dash, O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed, The trembling earth resounds his tread. Clap in his walie nieve a blade, He'll mak it whissle; An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned, Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care, And dish them out their bill o' fare, Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware That jaups in luggies; But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer, Gie her a haggis!

 The Translation...

 Fair is your honest happy face Great chieftain of the pudding race Above them all you take your place Stomach, tripe or guts Well are you worthy of a grace As long as my arm

The groaning platter there you fill Your buttocks like a distant hill Your skewer would help to repair a mill In time of need While through your pores the juices emerge Like amber beads

His knife having seen hard labour wipes And cuts you up with great skill Digging into your gushing insides bright Like any ditch And then oh what a glorious sight Warm steaming, rich

Then spoon for spoon They stretch and strive Devil take the last man, on they drive Until all their well swollen bellies Are bent like drums Then, the old gent most likely to rift (burp) Be thanked, mumbles

Is there that over his French Ragout Or olio that would sicken a pig Or fricassee would make her vomit With perfect disgust Looks down with a sneering scornful opinion On such a dinner

Poor devil, see him over his trash As week as a withered rush (reed) His spindle-shank a good whiplash His clenched fist.the size of a nut. Through a bloody flood and battle field to dash Oh how unfit

But take note of the strong haggis fed Scot The trembling earth resounds his tread Clasped in his large fist a blade He'll make it whistle And legs and arms and heads he will cut off Like the tops of thistles

Your powers who make mankind your care And dish them out their meals Old Scotland wants no watery food That splashes in dishes But if you wish her grateful prayer Give her a haggis!

Happy Tuesday

Cheers

There's a new sex position in the Karma Sutra called 'The Plumber'.

Both of you stay in all day, and nobody comes!!

 

10 comments:

  1. Phil, about that lady plumber you're so often calling out to your house? Is she from a Scottish mother and an Indian father?

    That would explain the Karma Sutra connection....but it doesn't explain why you'd both stay there all day and nobody comes!

    You're slipping, mate! LMAO

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  2. Last time I called her out George she same within 5 mins!!(She was two houses down) LMAO!!

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  3. Just so the Ladies dont feel left out,,,

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  4. Evening All - And a Happy Burns Night to all of you mad people too ! Thought that me and Sheena would ignore your photo Big Guy, and look at mine instead !

    I have the Haggis ready, and of course, the obligatory Malt...... Slainte !

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  5. Looks to me like those pipers are each smuggling two (very small ) haggises under their kilts!



    DISGUSTING STUFF...pass the sick bag! lol

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  6. You ever actually eaten a Haggis George...? I figure you are as near to border as you can be, must be plenty in your neck of the woods? You don't know what you are missing, truly xx

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  7. My tribute to Rabbie

    "To A Dumpling"

    Hotterin' awa' it's beginning to waft,
    The smell is nearly driving me daft,
    Tak' aff the lid and lift it oot,
    Untie the string, an' haul back the cloot.

    Hope you boys managed to get yours made in time for celebrating tonight!!

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  8. Hi Sheena. That was great, thanks very much ! All I can say in response is...

    " Have a braw bricht moon licht nicht the nicht !" xx

    PS - Am hoping the boys understand you !

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  9. Hi Sheena,,,Happy Burns Night xx

    I'm still waiting for a pic of your Clootie Elise!!!! dumpling? LMAO xx

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  10. *****Comment deleted at request of author***** LMAO !

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