Friday Baldy

Well, I much prefer very hairy pussies myself...as you'll know from previous pictures of Portia.

However, here's the ideal pussy for Phil. An ideal pet for an old sailor - it even comes with tattoos! LMAO

Cool or what???

 

Friday Balls!!

Good Morning/Evening Peeps ,,Blue skies and a strange yellow ball in the sky this morning,,I forget the name of this rarity!

Lovely to see Samantha back once more after having survived her MOB duties "relatively unscathed ....................................

Woken at 5am this morning with the moggy presenting us with a fur ball!,,I have decided in future ALL mu pussies will be of the hairless Brazilian variety!!!

Hope you all have a good Friday,and are set for a Great weekend!

Cheers

Pumpin Pumpkin

A guy who had a smallholding, was growing a few pumpkins to sell for Halloween. He noticed that several had holes gouged in them and started to keep a check on them. Every Sunday morning, he found another pumpkin had been gouged. The next Saturday, when it got dark, armed with his shotgun, he hid and waited to see what was happening to his pumpkins. After a few hours, he saw a cyclist dismount and climb over his fence. The cyclist selected a nice pumpkin, cut a hole in it and dug out the soft fleshy inside, then..he unzipped his pants and stuck his pr**k in the pumpkin and proceeded to shag it. The raging smallholder rushed out of hiding, pointed the shotgun at the pervert and screamed. "What the f*** are you doing with your pr**k shoved in my pumpkin?" The pervert, sounding astonished, said...."Christ! is it midnight already?"

 

Painting the Church

Painting the Church

There was a Scottish painter named Smokey Macgregor who was very interested in making a penny where he could, so he often thinned down his paint to make it go a wee bit further.

As it happened, he got away with this for some time, but eventually the Baptist Church decided to do a big restoration job on the outside of one of their biggest buildings..

Smokey put in a bid, and, because his price was so low, he got the job.

So he set about erecting the scaffolding and setting up the planks, and buying the paint and, yes, I am sorry to say, thinning it down with turpentine..

Well, Smokey was up on the scaffolding, painting away, the job nearly completed, when suddenly there was a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened, and the rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the church and knocking Smokey clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by telltale puddles of the thinned and useless paint..

Smokey was no fool. He knew this was a judgment from the Almighty, so he got down on his knees and cried:

"Oh, God, Oh God, forgive me; what should I do?"

And from the thunder, a mighty voice spoke...

(you're going to love this)

:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
"Repaint!
Repaint!
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
and
thin no more

Hellooooooo xxxx

Hello me darlings...

Wedding was fantastic although emotional (for lots of reasons)and soooo exhausting!!! MOB Outfit stood the test and is being placed on Ebay as we speak.. (only jesting lol) Paul enjoyed his birthday and had a cake too awww... Will post some pics when some one sends me some  !!! Now i guess i will be planning a christening outfit lol... pauls groaning!!!! hehe Hope everyone is ok and so sorry for being sooo sooo quiet.. (what ya mean tis ok lol lol) love me xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Thursday,,Morning !

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Folk..Bright start here on Teesside after it lashed down yesterday...

No reports from Mike yet if he's back from London?,,hope he hasn't lost his Brummie Twang!! and his virtue is still intact!!

Mop crop for me today to check my lugs are still there.

Hope your Puter probs are behind you now George and Portia has learnt her lesson after playing with your mouse!

Have a Great Thursday Peeps

Cheers

Golf Nut.

Andy and Irene had been going out together for some three months and Andy decided that Irene was definitely the one. He took her out to dinner with the intention of making a commitment and after the meal whilst having coffee, he told her of his intentions and then said. "Look, it's only fair that I tell you that I'm a total golf nut, I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so, if it's going to cause problems, it's best to say so now." Irene said. "Since we're being honest and open with each other, I have a confession to make." Andy raised his eyebrows questioningly. She took a deep breath and blurted. "I used to be a hooker, but I couldn't carry on like that, so I've given the game up completely." "I see" Andy said. "Yes, that certainly is a problem." He sat for some time, frowning deep in thought, then said. "You know, I reckon you should take it up again. It's probably because you're not keeping your wrists together when you tee off."

NEWBIGGIN? Lord help us!

As promised, a pictorial history of our day in Newbiggin-by-the-sea.

The reality dawns and a deep depression descends

 

 

We saw this...and decided to end it all

 

 

 

 

We scaled the platform

 

Waiting for the tide to come in..........

 

 

DAMN THOSE RNLI GUYS!

 LOL

SUE is almost back!!!

Hi Peeps,,Just found this email from Sue in my Spam purely by chance with a new email addy!!

She sure has had a hard and lenghty time getting back in Cyberland,but hopefully will be back real soon.

Welcome back in advance Sue!!!!!xxx

 

Email sent to George and myself today...........

 

Hi Both

 

Well it's been a long old road, but we finally (touch many bits of wood) have a computer that works and have managed to get Satellite broadband! The computer went - then came back and then went again bigtime. We lost much of the stuff we had stored, but fortunately my address book is still intact. Unfortunately I lost all received e-mails from Christmas onwards,so I  don't have contact details for the new BtoPCa forum. Need to get back in touch with you all it's been so long.

 

I do hope that you and your families are ok -please let me know, have thought & worried about you all so often.

 

We're ok - David was put on Nandralone back in March after his PSA had risen 3 times in a row. Although it was still only 0.78, the consultant decided to stop Casodex and try N., which is available here and in the US but I have never heard of it being used in the UK. PSA dropped back to 0.31 after 3 months, so good so far.

 

I have just had a mega set of Blood tests which I have yet to go back to the Docs about. I need to discuss a few of the results with him, but the strangest and most "out of sync" one was - Yep you've guessed - Vitamin D3. You thought yours was low , when you had it tested George, but mine was < 4 - surprised I'm still walking about! I've no idea why it's so low, but does explain the crippling tiredness I have felt for the past year or so and a few other things as well. I will ask for a supplement and see how it goes from there.

 

Anyway my Friends - I do hope you will get this ok and more than anything that you are both doing ok.

 

 Hope to hear from you soon and let me know how to join up.

 

Luv'n Hugs

 

Sue & David xxxx

Cheers Allister

Allister,Have a Great day,,will Have a pint or three of the Black stuff on your behalf!

Cheers!!!.....................

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISTER

Good Morning All,
And a special day for our mate Al over in N. Ireland.

Once again, I can't get Multiply to work properly, BUT I hope this card gets through for one very special guy!




Have a great day Allister and Laura : )~

Early Hump!

Good Morning/Evening fellow Humpsters,..Early start for me ferrying Hilary to work as the buses round here seem be finding it hard to cope with some minor roadworks in th area.

Good luck Mike on your trip  into "Southern territory!"today..Hope you have had your shots,,,and make sure you get a good exchange rate for your "Northern Groat!!"...You will be debriefed as usual upon your safe return and to excorcise any Southern traits you may have picked up!

Happy Hump day Folks,have fun!!

Cheers

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659---CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, 'Well your Honour, it was like this, when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan’s Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honour, when She moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident'... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Tuesday Sun.

Good Morning /Evening sunbeams,Yep we got da sun back,,but it is early and will probably be raining by lunchtime!

Nice to see Don posting and hopefully we be seeing a lot more of him when he takes his well earnt retirement in September.

I hope George and Co enjoyed their run up the coast to Newbiggin by the sea yesterday,and trust his little "insert"problem is now better!!

Enjoy your Tuesday Folks.

Cheers

Now don't shoot the messenger!!,,but here is one NOT to bridge the North South divide!!.LOL....................

Once upon a time in the  Kingdom of  Heaven , God went missing for six days. Eventually, Archangel Michael found him on the seventh day resting. He enquired of God, 'Where have you been?'
  
God pointed downwards through the clouds. Archangel Michael looked puzzled  and said, 'What is it?' 'It's a planet,' replied God, 'and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance.' 'Balance?' inquired Michael, still confused.
  
God explained, pointing down to different parts of the Earth. 'For example, North America will be a place of great opportunity and wealth,  while South America is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be  a hot spot, and Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a  continent of white people and over there is a continent of black people.'
  
God continued, pointing to the different countries.
  
This one will be extremely hot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.'
  
The  Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to another area of  land and asked, 'What's that?'
  
'Ah,' said God.. That's the North of England, the most glorious place on  earth.. There are beautiful people, seven Premiership football teams in the  North West alone, and many impressive cities; it is the home of the world's  finest artists, musicians, writers, thinkers, explorers and politicians. The people from the North of England are going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to be found travelling the world. They'll be  extremely sociable, hard-working and high-achieving, and they will be known throughout the world as speakers of truth.'
  
Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, 'What about balance God, you said there will be BALANCE!'

God replied very wisely,
 
'Wait till you see the bunch of tossers I'm putting down South!

 

Monday Yuk!

Good Morning/Evening fellow Bollockeers,

Grey start to the week here "Up North"which seems about right for a Monday,

I discovered the dreaded "Paint colour charts" yesterday,left casually by Hilary where she knew I would fall over them!,,,,This coupled with the veiled threat of "WE"must do something with our bedroom is making for an uneasy time in Philip's world!!

Well as yet I havn't bitten but I know it will only be a matter of time before these insidious "Mind games"have their desired effect!

Hope you're all set fair for a good(paint free)week!

Cheers

John Hinkley’s Release ........

You might recall that John Hinckley is a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.   Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster.  He was extremely jealous, and in his twisted mind, he loved Jodie Foster to the point that he tried to make himself well known to her by attempting to assassinate President Reagan.

 

There is speculation Hinckley may soon be declared "rehabilitated" and thus will undoubtedly be released. You may appreciate the following letter written to Hinkley by Sen. John McCain.  It's the very letter which the staff treating Hinckley at the mental facility reports they intercepted this past weekend:

..........................................................................

To: John Hinkley From: Sen. John McCain

My wife and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Nation's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a non-partisan consensus of compassion and throughout this great land of ours.

Cindy and I want you to know that we hold no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan. We are well aware of how mental stress, anguish and pain could have driven you to commit such an act of desperation. We are confid ent that you will make a complete recovery and soon return to your family to rejoin the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best Wishes, John and Cindy McCain

P.S.: While you have been incarcerated, Barack Obama has been bangin' Jodie Foster like a screen door in a wind storm.

Just thought you should know...