Sunday nice ere'

 

Good Morning/Evening Sunday Peeps,..nice,bright sunny and warm in our neck of the woods today,

Tootling onto the Moors for a Family Sunday nosh at a country pub,,,have to record the Grand Prix!or leave it to George to give me a blow by blow account?(Yeah right LOL)

Remember yer mask today Matey no more infections from the rug rat invasion!!!

Hope you are all set for a relaxing day!!

Morning John..........

Cheers

Urine sample

Guy goes to the doctors - "Doc - I think I've broken my arm"

Doctor passes him a sample bottle and says "Fill this first thing in the morning and bring it in"

"WHAT - this is surgical, not medical - why the hell do you want a urine sample"

"Look - I'm the doctor and I'm also an expert when it comes to urine samples - no need to send it off to the path lab - a quick sniff and you'll be fully diagnosed"

"But ...... oh sod it - give it here"

So the guy goes home and next morning fills the bottle with........ some engine oil from his car, gets his wife to pee in it and then he ejaculates into it.

Takes it down to the surgery - gives it a good shake before handing it to the doc (thinks - 'sort THAT lot out you tosser')

The doc holds it up to the light frowning, takes a sniff and draws back then dips a finger in and tastes a drop.

"Come on then smartarse - what's the diagnosis then?" says the guy.

"Well, Mr Brown" says the doc.

"Your engine is seized, your wife is pregnant - by your brother -and if you don't stop playing with yourself your arm's never going to get better, is it!"

 

Saturday !!!!!

Happy Saturday Bollockeers !

The Captain is up to 'scurrilous' deeds this morning [don't ask !] so, you have La Duck to contend with now ! PMSL !

A quiet day for me, and maybe some gardening [ha ha ha PMSL !] I will be strolling into work tomorrow [for a change] before being off the Bank Holiday Monday here.....
......it's a tough life eh ?!

Have a GREAT weekend people and remember...........

If you can't be good, then be very, very wicked instead !
xxx

Happy Birthday Allister !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLISTER !!!

Have a fantastic day !

Lots of love and hugz from Lil' Duck
XXX

Fridaaaaay :)

Morning/Evening Bollockeers,,,Seemed a long time coming this week but Friday and the weekend finally cometh!

Hope you're feeling better George  and are set for the weekend "Rug rat invasion"(Don't forget yer surgical mask Matey!!!)

Elise how did the bootees turn out?,,any pics of your creation? :) xx...There seems to be a definite "Artistic bent"in ere,,,Bev seems quiet at the mo,,must have her head down in her craft room!!

Touch of creation for me today as chief cook,gotta do something with a large piece of meat(Shaddup George),,any ideas what to do with boar??

Happy Friday Folks,,.have a good un'!

Forecast looking good...........

Cheers

Two guys are watching a dog lick its balls and one says "Man, I wish I could do that."

The other guy says, "Really? I think I'd just pet him first."

 

Thursday Blue....

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,,,cracking start to the day ere' with blue skies and warm sunshine..set for the weekend?

Been a while but bloods for me today and Onco next Tuesday to see what's happening with the bod,,otherwise a running sorta day ahead,here there and everywhere.

Enjoy the sunshine while ya got it!and have a good un'

Cheers

Stamina....

 Picked up this bird in the pub last night. Told her I was going to shag her in the living room, kitchen, bathroom and bedroom.

She was well up for it, saying "Wow! you must have some serious stamina!"

She seemed quite disappointed when we got back to the caravan.

 

 

 

Morning Humpsters...

Good Morning/Evening Mid week Humpsters,Hi Terry...,,,A grey old start to the day here and time to pack away the posing pouch till next year, although I know there is still the  Jarrow "Flash and Dash" best filled codpiece contest on Saturday,,(George is no doubt stuffing his as we speak),,Good Luck Matey..

Catch up day on ere' today for me,,Hilary at work,,,pussy stuffed and asleep,,normal service has been resumed..

Have a good un whatever you're up to!!

2nd Opinion

A man went to the doctor for his first prostate exam, and asked the doctor how the procedure is preformed?

The doctor replied while putting on his glove and some K-Y jelly around his forefinger "I insert this finger into your rectum and look for lumps and what not".

The patient replied "You're going to stick that finger up my ass?"

The doctor replied "Yes".

The patient said "While you're at it I want you to stick two fingers up my ass".

The doctor asked "Why? "

The patient replied "I want a second opinion".