Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Typical Bank Holiday weather here,,grey and drizzly,
Sun chairs back in the garage and cancel the Barbie.
Taking an amble to the local hostelry instead for a jar or two of firewater and a spot of lunch.
Have a relaxing day whatever you're up to,
Cheers
Tree Hugging!!........
While walking through the woods a man came up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.
Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?
"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.
"You gotta be kiddin' me."
"No, would you like to give it a try?"
Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.
With this the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.
Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked,
"What the hell happened to you?"
He told the guy the whole story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him behind the ear and said.... "This just isn't gonna be your day.....
Good Morning/Evening Sunday Peeps,,chilly start to the day here,had to put the heating on first thing,even my pussy was cold!
Spot of George's favourite motorsport today in the shape of the Turkish Grand Prix,I'm sure he'll be glued to his set,
Whatever you're up to enjoy it,
Cheers
68 er
Bloke gets home feeling randy, goes into bedroom, his wife is lying on the bed naked, he says 'lets have a 68' 'Whats a 68 she says?' 'Same as a 69 but I owe you one'
Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,,A grey drizzly start to the day here but no matter as it's indoor pursuits shortly(Shaddup George)with the Turkish Grand Prix quallifying
Hilary and Sherri off for a girlie shop so the day is mine to do some stock taking in my shed,
Hope you have an equally relaxing day, I may pop round for a beer with George,,,,............
Cheers
Just because it's silly!....
| Elvis Q. What do you call an Indian Elvis impersonator?
|
Good Morning/Evening Friiiiiiiiday Peeps,and...
WELCOME BACK GEORGE! from your Lakeland Odyssy...No sheep jokes today as you keep telling us your predeliction is now monkeys??,,,maybe you can have the best of both???....
You seem to have brought a spot of sunshine back with ya,although still on the cool side today,but Hey it's Friday!
Have a Good one Folks!!
Cheers
I think the Geordie and the Scots should be transposed in this funny due to the similarities of the Geordie to someone we all know??
.......
A Geordie ventriloquist visiting Aberdeen walks
Into a Small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Jock
Al'reet, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Geordie.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
Jock: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
Dog: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me
Great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
Jock: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Jock: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Horse: 'Cool'
Jock: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Horse: 'Yep'
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me
From the Elements.'
Jock: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Jock: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a fu****g liar.......'
Hi You Goooood Peeps
lolGood Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,,sunny start here but rain moving in stopping my planned lawn mowing before it starts..(Hopefully)
Relief over in Cumbria today as the sheep are let loose once more to roam the the countryside after being cooped up for their own safety as "The wool gatherer" (George)heads back to Jarrow Sur Mer after his fleece appreciation jaunt!.
Postcard below received from George showing his new "Sheep appreciation"circle he has formed in Buttermere............. 
Hmmm wonder if he is bringing any souvenirs back(Nothing that a good old session of sheep dip won't cure I'm sure!)LOL
Have a "Good Un' Folks,
Cheers
An old lady dies, and goes to heaven......................
She's chatting with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful, blood curdling screams. 'Don't worry about that,' says St. Peter, 'It's only someone having the holes drilled into her shoulder blades for the wings.' The old lady looks a little uncomfortable, but carries on with the conversation. A few minutes later, there are more blood curdling screams. 'Oh my Goodness,' says the old lady, 'now what is happening?' 'Not to worry,' says St. Peter, 'She's just having her head drilled to fit the halo.' 'I can't do this,' says the old lady, 'I'm going to hell.' 'You can't go to that nasty place,' says St. Peter. 'You'll be raped and taken advantage of.' 'Maybe so,' says the old lady, but I've already got the holes for that.'
