Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Tuesday Mornin'

Mornin'/Evenin' all,,,Grey and mild start to the day here,..

Got a letter from PC Plod yesterday offering me the option of a "Speed awareness course" as opposed to three points and a fine,,Cost £75 but I've opted for it to keep my licence clean,,(Probably be me and a loada boy racers!!!LOL

Whatever you're up to take it SLOW!(Yeah right!)

Cheers

A farmer stopped by the local  mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They  couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he  didn't live far and would just walk home,,


On the way home he stopped at the  hardware Store and bought a bucket and a gallon  of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and  picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.  However, struggling outside the store he now had  a problem - how to carry his entire purchases  home.

While he was scratching his head he  was approached by a little old lady who told him  she was lost. She asked, 'Can you tell me how to  get to 1603 Mockingbird Lane ?'

The  farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm  is very close to that house I would walk you  there but I can't carry this lot.'

The old lady suggested, 'Why don't  you put the can of paint in the bucket. Carry  the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each  arm and carry the goose in your other  hand?'

'Why thank you very much,' he said  and proceeded to walk the old girl home.

On the way he says 'Let's take my  short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there  in no time.'

The little old lady looked him over  cautiously then said, 'I am a lonely widow  without a husband to defend me.. How do I know  that when we get in the alley you won't hold me  up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have  your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes lady!  I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two  chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I  possibly hold you up against the wall and do  that?'
The old lady replied, ; ....

'Set the goose  down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint  on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the  chickens!

 

 

4 comments:

  1. Beware of old ladies is the motto for today!

    Hey Phil, I bet there are a few mad grannies amongst the boy racers on your 'speed awareness' police-organised course. lol.

    I think Hilary should chaperone you! : )~

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  2. I put 'Speed Awareness' into a search engine and got:-



    Sounds about right to me.

    Good luck with the boy racers (and the old ladies) lol

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  3. SPEEDING!!!!

    You are a VERY naughty boy!!!

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