Shop free Hump day :)

Good Morning/Evening fellow Humpsters,,,,Shop free day for me after yesterdays'trailing round furniture shops,,,,,Got fed up of being assailed as soon as you walk through the door by assistants, then being stalked as you walk round..

No sense of humour either the sales people,,one was trying to sell his "Buy now pay nothing for 2 years",,,I asked if they did a  "Buy now pay never??"seemed a perfectly simple question to me!(I do believe he went and asked his boss!) LOL

Enjoy your Mid week Hump day,

Cheers

Oh Baby!...............

 A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth.

"I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies. "O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife. "No, no boyfriend either."

"Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own."

After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black"

"Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black."

"Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair."

"Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes."

"Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice."

At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Thank God for that!" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked.

"WHEW!" says the girl extremely relieved... "I had this horrible feeling that it was going to bark!,

 

 

What a grey day!

Good Morning /Evening Tuesday Bollockeers,,,miserable grey start to the day here up North..

No brightness on the horizon for me as Hilary is off and wants to "Take a look"at some new couches,suites or whatever,,,my suggestion to check em out online has fallen on deaf ears as she wants to "road test" em!,

Maybe I'll come back with a little pouf after all George?

Hope you enjoy a "Store free"day!!

Cheers

Old Man Joke .....

An 86 year old man visits his doctor for a check up.

"So," says the doctor, "how are you getting on?"

"Things just couldn't be better," the old man replied. "I recently married a 19 year old blonde and she is is now pregnant with twins - what do you make of that, young man? Not bad for an old codger, eh?"

The doctor thought for a minute then said, "I have a friend, an older bloke like yourself. He loves shooting. Once he went out with his walking stick instead of his gun; he only realised his mistake when he arrived at a lake and saw a magnificent beaver sitting by the water's edge. He really wished he could bag that animal, so, wistfully, he raised his stick, aimed at it and said, 'bang, bang.' To his amazement 2 shots rang out, and the beaver fell over dead. What do you make of that?"

"Well, logic would tell you that someone else must have put 2 shots in that beaver while your friend was playing around with his stick."

The doc replied, "my point exactly."

 

 

Double trouble?

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,I do believe we have a double celebration today for Callum and Charlotte,,George's Grandchildren,the tiny terrors that make his Sunday sooooo peaceful!

Sooo ,,,,,,,a VERY........

Both..

Hope there is lots of Jelly and icecream to keep Grandpa quiet!!

Have a lovely day all,

Cheers

Phil and Hilary xxx

 

 

Sunday Sport

Good Morning Sunday Peeps,,just a quick Hi as I settle down to watch the Oz Grand Prix recorded earlier(I'm sure George is beside himself with excitement,,NOT LOL)

Hope you all remembered to put your clocks forward and are not reading this an hour before I posted it!

Whatever you're up to enjoy it!

Cheers

Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven.

They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today.”

“What?” his father replied.

“When I got home from school, Mommy was laying on the bed with her legs pointing up in the air yelling, ‘Jesus, I’m coming, Jesus I’m coming.’ If it wasn’t for Uncle Terry holding her down we would have lost her for sure!”

BIRTHDAY BOY!

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,and I gotta say(He told me to)

 

GEORGE!,,Have a GREAT day,(and night),,,let me know if you need a little puff to blow out ALL dem candles!!!and a postcard from yer "Friends"..Cheers!!!

Phil and Hilary