Saturday so Cold

Saturday cold & snow forecast later...ummmm

much prefer...

 WARMER WEATHER ..........OF WHICH MY COUSIN,NOW BACK IN OZ,AFTER THERE 2 MONTH EPIC HOLIDAY.....SENT ME THESE CRACKING JOKES....

WHAT EVER YOUR DAY BRINGS I HOPE ITS KIND & GENTLE......HAVE A GOODUN.!!

 

The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own oil. 

Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got pregnant. Two years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant. Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?. Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!

 Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th." !!

 Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police station. Mick: "What if one explodes before we get there?" Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two.!!"

 Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the shampoo?" Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."

 

The Harley-Davidson!The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'

God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds
3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

 'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, far more men are riding my invention than yours'.