A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
"Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes," nodded the Monkey. "What else?" asked the officer. The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth, sucking inward quickly.
"They were smoking marijuana too?" said the officer. "Yes," nodded the Monkey. "What else?" queried the officer. The monkey motioned with his fingers...
"Having sex!. They were having sex, too!?" asked the astounded officer. "Yes," nodded the monkey. "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and having sex before they wrecked?" "Yes," the Monkey nodded. "What were you doing during all this?" asked the Officer.
One day an out of work mime artist is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
The zookeeper explains to the mime artist that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime artist a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime artist accepts.
So the next morning the mime artist puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime artist . However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tyres.
He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime artist a raise for being such a good attraction.
Well, this goes on for some time, the mime artist keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime artist is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.
The mime artist is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime artist starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!" but the lion is quick and pounces.
The mime artist soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,
"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
Afters all.....-4C here at 8am today.....now barely above freezing...brrrrrrr
Fact where saying came from...
The saying “it’s so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey” came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off… thus the saying.!!
Blood test earlier & 'crunch'meeting Tuesday,to see where we are now,& whats next...... I had the first appointment with nursey today,& she was still shaking from the bitter cold....& it give me no confidence at all seeing a bobbing needle coming towards my arm.......eeeeeek...!!!!?
All was o.k.in the end.....
George whats all this about?
pmsl...
Just had an e.mail from Mike & his 'Elvis' take off in Vegas is going down well,though he did say the food was rather moreish....especially the cakes...!!!!!!?
John? Why is it that Tuesday is always our 'crunch' day at hospitals. Practically every PCa guy I know sees his onco on a Tuesday. Maybe it's to give the consultants time to sober up after the weekend? GOOD LUCK with that appointment me old mate.
And talking of blood tests, It looks like you got this nurse:
I've had some crappy 'blood takers' recently. I bet there's only 5% of nurses know how to gently handle a prick! (Can you see me stirring it for our on-site nurses here? lol)
That 'Geordie Prick' banner is hoisted across a pub on the north side of the river Wear, to cater for fat maggies when Newcastle Utd visit Sunderland for a derby match.
Here's one maggy who's almost as fat as our Elvis Mike is now, and he's standling alongside the London prick, their owner Mike Ashley!
Thanks Bev..xx.....The most important thing here is I still am mainly asymptomatic..........so even if psa has gone up again i won't go the chemo way just yet.....Old Al never did ever..!!!!!! More time for Ian to spend here my luvely on his retirement......A must DO though is photobucket..!!!
George, I tried to copy/paste the "Looters Prayer", is it possible for you to email it, please.
My Hossy nurse, yesterday, I didn't feel a thing, she took 5 different phials......I should know what the results are when I go to Addenbrooks Hossy on Tuesday, for catheter OUT.
John, trust your instinct about treatment, and keep a close watch on guys like Allister who've faced the same. Never hesisate to ask their opinions. Asymptomatic is GOOD!
Chris, you'll be glad when you get that chemo catheter out. Geeeez, you've had that a long time!
I will send you the looter's prayer later today when I send the thank you for the L2012 payment....and an even bigger thank you for the very revealing photo of Shirley (that's got them guessing here, hasn't it? LMAO)
Great pics from Pauline in London:
ReplyDeleteAnd from Terry in Oz (who once worked in Liverpool I think)
ReplyDeleteA police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
ReplyDeleteThe officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
"You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down.
"Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
"Yes," nodded the Monkey.
"What else?" asked the officer.
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth, sucking inward quickly.
"They were smoking marijuana too?" said the officer.
"Yes," nodded the Monkey.
"What else?" queried the officer.
The monkey motioned with his fingers...
"Having sex!. They were having sex, too!?" asked the astounded officer.
"Yes," nodded the monkey.
"Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, smoking and having sex before they wrecked?"
"Yes," the Monkey nodded.
"What were you doing during all this?" asked the Officer.
"Driving," motioned the monkey.
One day an out of work mime artist is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer. Unfortunately, as soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zookeeper grabs him and drags him into his office.
ReplyDeleteThe zookeeper explains to the mime artist that the zoo's most popular attraction, a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off. He offers the mime artist a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one. The mime artist accepts.
So the next morning the mime artist puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before crowd comes. He discovers that it's a great job. He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than he ever did as a mime artist . However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tyres.
He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his. Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage. Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it. At the end of the day the zookeeper comes and gives the mime artist a raise for being such a good attraction.
Well, this goes on for some time, the mime artist keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up. Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion, he slips and falls. The mime artist is terrified. The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.
The mime artist is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind. Finally, the mime artist starts screaming and yelling, "Help, Help me!" but the lion is quick and pounces.
The mime artist soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says,
"Shut up you idiot! Do you want to get us both fired?"
Brass monkeys here to.....
ReplyDeleteAfters all.....-4C here at 8am today.....now barely above freezing...brrrrrrr
Fact where saying came from...
The saying “it’s so cold out there it could freeze the balls off a brass monkey” came from when they had old cannons like ones used in the Civil War. The cannonballs were stacked in a pyramid formation, called a brass monkey. When it got extremely cold outside they would crack and break off… thus the saying.!!
Blood test earlier & 'crunch'meeting Tuesday,to see where we are now,& whats next......
ReplyDeleteI had the first appointment with nursey today,& she was still shaking from the bitter cold....& it give me no confidence at all seeing a bobbing needle coming towards my arm.......eeeeeek...!!!!?
All was o.k.in the end.....
George whats all this about?
pmsl...
Just had an e.mail from Mike & his 'Elvis' take off in Vegas is going down well,though he did say the food was rather moreish....especially the cakes...!!!!!!?
lmao
Heyyyy Bev/Ian.....love the monkey jokes!
ReplyDeleteJohn? Why is it that Tuesday is always our 'crunch' day at hospitals.
Practically every PCa guy I know sees his onco on a Tuesday. Maybe it's to give the consultants time to sober up after the weekend?
GOOD LUCK with that appointment me old mate.
And talking of blood tests, It looks like you got this nurse:
I've had some crappy 'blood takers' recently. I bet there's only 5% of nurses know how to gently handle a prick!
(Can you see me stirring it for our on-site nurses here? lol)
John,
ReplyDeleteThat 'Geordie Prick' banner is hoisted across a pub on the north side of the river Wear, to cater for fat maggies when Newcastle Utd visit Sunderland for a derby match.
Here's one maggy who's almost as fat as our Elvis Mike is now, and he's standling alongside the London prick, their owner Mike Ashley!
Thanks George......more on edge with this Onco meet,than others before...just hope the 'degarelix' H.T.has kicked in..!!!!!
ReplyDeleteGeordie Bart a magpie supporter??
That naked chest guy is on H.T. eh..!!!
lol
couple of cartoon pics
It was Ian wot posted earlier, I was working hard! three weeks today he retires. Help!!
ReplyDeleteHope the mtg goes well John.
lots of love me lovelies x
We knew it was Ian, Bev...he types in English. LMAO
ReplyDeleteJust kidding ya xxxxx
cheeky bugger!!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Bev..xx.....The most important thing here is I still am mainly asymptomatic..........so even if psa has gone up again i won't go the chemo way just yet.....Old Al never did ever..!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMore time for Ian to spend here my luvely on his retirement......A must DO though is photobucket..!!!
George, I tried to copy/paste the "Looters Prayer", is it possible for you to email it, please.
ReplyDeleteMy Hossy nurse, yesterday, I didn't feel a thing, she took 5 different phials......I should know what the results are when I go to Addenbrooks Hossy on Tuesday, for catheter OUT.
John, trust your instinct about treatment, and keep a close watch on guys like Allister who've faced the same.
ReplyDeleteNever hesisate to ask their opinions.
Asymptomatic is GOOD!
Chris, you'll be glad when you get that chemo catheter out. Geeeez, you've had that a long time!
I will send you the looter's prayer later today when I send the thank you for the L2012 payment....and an even bigger thank you for the very revealing photo of Shirley (that's got them guessing here, hasn't it? LMAO)