In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And Dot sayeth unto Abraham: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?" And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sales canst be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)." Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP). And the young men didst take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS. And Lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed didst insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot didst say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He paused for a while then said: "We need a name that reflects what we are." And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com. Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
Great video, even if I dind't get ll the finer points. That Mike Hunt seems to get around a good deal, doesn't he?
But I didn't know what a Mackem was, so I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mackem and learned, among other tings that "..... Geordies were the unfortunate result of a Roman experiment in which Scotsmen had intercourse with pigs."
So why all the references to SHEEP on this blog? Should these refer to PIGS, or have I missed something, beng an alien (as the Immigration people in the US term me). Or do only the posh people get it on with sheep or.....??????
There's a big difference between a geordie and a makem -basicaly geordies are tynesiders and makems aren't. But a geordie can become a makem by supporting SUNDERLAND FC.
The thing they both have in common is that they broadly speak the same and nobody else can understand them.
this joke should help explain how serious the rivalry is
A Geordie girl, a girl from Sunderland and a West Indian girl all give birth to boys at the same time in the same hospital.
However, the nurses get the babies mixed up.
To sort it out they decide to ask the dads to pick their own child. They ask the Geordie first but he picks the black baby.
The nurses argue with him that the baby can't possibly be his,
but he replies, "I know that! One of the other two's a Mackem and it just isn't worth the f***g risk.
And finally to show the language - only george will understand these
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a Geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a 'perm'.
The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud......
General Custer is standing on a hill overlooking the Little Big Horn. In the distance he can hear Sitting Bull's braves pounding on their drums.
He turns to a little Geordie soldier in his ranks, "listen" he says, "they have war drums."
The Geordie replies, "why, man! The fuckin', thievin' bastards..."
I get the perm but can't get the war drums even though I speak a little Scouse, which is vaguley related to Geordie.
But to get back to the sheep. I understand George's affection because we have a lot of Kiwis in Australia and they also have that kind of taste - mind you who doesn't like a bit of lamb, but preferraby roasted, not on the hoof. But isn't he going against his ancestry if his ancestors were as described. Shouldn't he be focussing on pigs?
Thought with george on here you would all at least have cse geordie by now? If you google there is a geordie to english translator at www.geordie.org.uk Wor – Our
It's true that Geordies have a reputation of being particularly tough. I moved to Nottingham after living in Newcastle for over thirty years and already people are calling me 'reet hard'
One Saturday night Geordie came in well served from the local carrying a duck under his arm. Giving his wife a kiss, he says to her, "What d'ye think of this pig hinney?"
"Divvent be se fond", she says, "ye're drunk agyen, that's not a pig, it's a duck."
"I'm not taalking te ye", says Geordie, "I'm taalking te the duck."
This is a true recreation of events that occurred on April 30th 1945 when Hitler found that he had been refused a flat in Hendon, Sunderland.....
ReplyDeleteand that all he could have was a house in Newcastle.....with a bay window!
THANK YOU LARRY!
What a great start to the week, lol
Good morning, last of the celebrations last night. THe room and me are going in different directions and as for Ian!!!
ReplyDeleterather delicate today!!!
Bev, I'm pleased you're not a nurse these days......
ReplyDeleteJust had my PSA test done
But...
It wasn't ALL bad, lol
More words of wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHow the Internet started
In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.
And Dot sayeth unto Abraham: "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said: "How, dear?"
And Dot replied: "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sales canst be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."
Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).
And the young men didst take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.
And Lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed didst insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.
And Dot didst say: "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others."
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel, or eBay as it came to be known. He paused for a while then said: "We need a name that reflects what we are."
And Dot replied: "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).
And that is how it all began.
Great video, even if I dind't get ll the finer points. That Mike Hunt seems to get around a good deal, doesn't he?
ReplyDeleteBut I didn't know what a Mackem was, so I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary - http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=mackem and learned, among other tings that "..... Geordies were the unfortunate result of a Roman experiment in which Scotsmen had intercourse with pigs."
So why all the references to SHEEP on this blog? Should these refer to PIGS, or have I missed something, beng an alien (as the Immigration people in the US term me). Or do only the posh people get it on with sheep or.....??????
Sheep on the blog, em, well Terry its like this. George likes his sheep!!!
ReplyDeleteThere's a big difference between a geordie and a makem -basicaly geordies are tynesiders and makems aren't.
ReplyDeleteBut a geordie can become a makem by supporting SUNDERLAND FC.
The thing they both have in common is that they broadly speak the same and nobody else can understand them.
this joke should help explain how serious the rivalry is
A Geordie girl, a girl from Sunderland and a West Indian girl all give birth to boys at the same time in the same hospital.
However, the nurses get the babies mixed up.
To sort it out they decide to ask the dads to pick their own child. They ask the Geordie first but he picks the black baby.
The nurses argue with him that the baby can't possibly be his,
but he replies, "I know that! One of the other two's a Mackem and it just isn't worth the f***g risk.
And finally to show the language - only george will understand these
My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a Geordie girl.
Today my wife asked for a 'perm'.
The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud......
General Custer is standing on a hill overlooking the Little Big Horn. In the distance he can hear Sitting Bull's braves pounding on their drums.
He turns to a little Geordie soldier in his ranks, "listen" he says, "they have war drums."
The Geordie replies, "why, man! The fuckin', thievin' bastards..."
I get the perm but can't get the war drums even though I speak a little Scouse, which is vaguley related to Geordie.
ReplyDeleteBut to get back to the sheep. I understand George's affection because we have a lot of Kiwis in Australia and they also have that kind of taste - mind you who doesn't like a bit of lamb, but preferraby roasted, not on the hoof. But isn't he going against his ancestry if his ancestors were as described. Shouldn't he be focussing on pigs?
Thought with george on here you would all at least have cse geordie by now?
ReplyDeleteIf you google there is a geordie to english translator at www.geordie.org.uk
Wor – Our
It's true that Geordies have a reputation of being particularly tough. I moved to Nottingham after living in Newcastle for over thirty years and already people are calling me 'reet hard'
REET HARD???? PMSL
ReplyDeleteSheep cower in terror, don't they, Larry? lol lol lol lol
Are pigs more accomodating???
ReplyDeleteTerry, we'll have to keep you away from that Urban Dictionary. It's a dangerous place!
ReplyDeleteSee what's happened now???
You're obsessed with pigs!! PMSL
One Saturday night Geordie came in well served from the local carrying a duck under his arm. Giving his wife a kiss, he says to her, "What d'ye think of this pig hinney?"
ReplyDelete"Divvent be se fond", she says, "ye're drunk agyen, that's not a pig, it's a duck."
"I'm not taalking te ye", says Geordie, "I'm taalking te the duck."