Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Tuesday cool...

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,Overcast and cool ere'but at least that pesky wind(Morning George) has gone.. 

Stoppy in day for me as I seem to have amassed a lorra paperwork that needs doing,,,lots of Folks yesterday had probs with Multiply including myself,,so fingers crossed today it's trouble free and we can all play "Nice"together

 

Happy Birthday to Paul,,why not drop in and say Hi?

Have a fun day whatever you're up to troops,

Cheers

British Suicide Bombers on Strike! .........................

Suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike next Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda Central announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%, from 72 to only 54, effective immediately. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and the subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife, coupled with other factors contributing to a decline in the virgin supply.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or BOOM) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action. General Secretary Mustapha Fook told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in our teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, The new Al Qaeda chief executive Ayman al-Zawahiri explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace and a difficult economy. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife, which is not helped by the downturn in the economy which is driving virgins to cash in their chastity. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off.
I don't like cutting compensation, but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."
Spokespersons for the union in Newcastle, Middlesborough, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in our areas anyway."

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has also been attributed to the emergence and popularity of that Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like, they are less keen on rushing to paradise!

 

30 comments:

  1. Morning Big Guy xx Heading out the gap, but back to play real soon ! xx

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  2. Morning Sweetie,nice to know I'm not the only one "Up" LOL xx

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  3. Nope ! I am always up for some fun Big Guy ! xx What you wanna play today ?! xx

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  4. ha ha ha ! I'm game if your back is up to it ! Mind you, bit cold and breezy here....[morning George ! xx]

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  5. Long as I have my body harness and winch ready I'll be fine! LOL xx

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  6. LMAO ! That should be loads of fun then Big Guy ! Can I bring my whip ? xx

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  7. Sure but you gonna put some makeup on first Sweetie??,,(That last face mask didin't work! LMAO) xx

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  8. LMAO ! But thats what I DO look like without the makeup Big Guy !! xx

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  9. Morning all......Up early to take Val to work....then dogging
    Better day today after all that rain.....

    See yer got mr pic of MIL Elise.x...LOL


    After a visit to the whore house,

    a man notices green lumps on his willy,
    So he goes to the doctors.
    "That's serious" says the doctor.
    "You know how wrestlers get cauliflower ears?"

    "Yes" says the man seriously..


    "Well" says the doctor "You've got brothel sprouts

    He said oh shit............it was a German brothel to.

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  10. Morning John xx Blimey ! Its like winter here ! Sky is black, wind, and heavy rain BRRRRRRRR ! Its kinda cold playing the 'Nakid Twister' with BIg Guy though ! Wanna join in and add to the heat !!!??? xx

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  11. Right behind yer Elise...x ...................or is that Phil.....!!! ...... LOL.....

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  12. Morning John,,I'll bring up the rear Matey,,(Trust me I'm a sailor!) lLOL

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  13. John ? There's some words to strike fear into your heart ! PMSL ! xx

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  14. Ha Ha Elise,,I am such an innocent really! LMAO xx

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  15. PHIL !!!!! INNOCENT !!!!! Ha ha ha ha !!!! That's the best laugh I have had all week so far !! Cheers ! xx


    Caught you out and about at the weekend Big Guy ! No denying it now ! xx

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  16. Phil? I can't let your little 'fib' in the joke about 'Subo' go unpunished.

    YOU KNOW FOR SURE SUSAN BOYLE ISN'T A VIRGIN!!!


    Have you conveniently forgotten about MAY 1985?

    Your ship was in port.....IN LEITH......... : )~

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  17. Afternoon George xx What you been up to all morning eh ? Do spill the gory details !! xx

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  18. George,you're not far off!!!! LMAO

    Elise you stick to your "Stiif Nipples"van...I've got my own ! xx,,
    (On second thoughts maybe you are better suited to the one below!)PMSL

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  19. You always have to go one up Big Guy ......xx

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  20. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm you feeding me the lines now Huh? LOL xx

    Catch ya in an hour or so...

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  21. You always crease me up Sweetie! LOL xx

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  22. likewise Big Guy xx

    A New One For Ya xx

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  23. COCK POLISHING?

    Is there no limit to Phil's business expansion?

    He's cornered the market in bush trimming, red-bush maintenance and beaver cleaning, and I've been a willing unpaid labourer on all his call outs.

    BUT I draw the line at cock polishing, FFS!



    What next Phil?














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  24. George PMSL !! Elise and I have done a swop,,I have more experience with the "Stiff Nipples"side of the business and goes without saying she has the expertise and is without doubt the Queen of "Cock polishing!" LOL

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  25. Now you are in trouble Big Guy !

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  26. George that guy with the nose buds has got it all wrong... doesn't he know that when going down into those situations that you have to breathe through your ears

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