Friday shopping :(

(Sorry guys one for the ladies,although Hmmmm LOL)

Good Morning/Evening Fffffffffriday Bollockeers,sun shining(for now)and wind seems to have defected to other regions(Morning George)

Hilary off till Monday and has the "Shopping gleam"in her eyes..so no guesses where my immediate future lies today!

Have a Fffffffab Fffffffriday Fffffffffolks and I hope I'ts shop free for ya!!,,,,have fun!

More bush trimming required?........................

Cheers

SOME OLD ONES BUT WORTH A LAUGH!

A mate of mine recently denied being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him on it he reckoned he could stop any time.....

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a train. He was chuffed to bits.

I went to the cemetery yesterday to lay some flowers on a grave. As I was standing there I noticed 4 grave diggers walking about with a coffin, 3 hours later and they're still walking about with it. I thought to myself, they've lost the plot!!

I was at a cash point yesterday when a little old lady asked if I could check her balance, so I pushed her over.

A new Middle East crisis erupted last night as Dubai Television was refused permission to broadcast 'The Flintstones'. A spokesman for the channel said. "A claim was made that people in Dubai would not understand the humour, but we know for a fact that people in Abu Dhabi Do."

My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £70!!! stuff that, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

Just heard there was an explosion at a pie factory in Huddersfield. 3.1415927 dead (Explanation for those that are mathmatically challenged! LOL)

I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a bloke hiding behind a gravestone. "Morning." I said. "No" he replied, "just having a pee."

Went around to a friend's house today. His wife was sat there with their newborn baby. She asked if i'd like to wind it. I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave it a dead leg instead.

Saw my mate outside the Doctor's today looking really worried. "What's the matter?" I asked. "I've got the big C,"he said. "What, cancer?" "No, dyslexia."

I start a new job in Seoul next week. I thought it was a good Korea move.

I was driving this morning when I saw an RAC van parked up. The driver was sobbing uncontrollably and looked very miserable. I thought to myself 'that guy's heading for a breakdown'.