Sunday, 19 June 2011

Sunday Frolics?

Good Morning Chaps and Chapesses,and a VERY,,,,,,,,

to all us Dad's,,,does that mean we can do what we like today????(Or did I just dream that bit?)

Hilary still duvet hugging so this Dad is off to do brekky,leaving plenty of cope for my Fathers day to improve!..

Hope we all get spoilt rotten for the tremendous job we all do without complaint,moans or thanks(I can hear our ladies muttering as I write!) LOL

Okay time to exit while I still can,,have a cracking day ALL!!

Morning John :).................................

Cheers

Phil's pet store........................

A blonde goes to her local Phil's pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of live frogs.

 

The sign says:

'SEX FROGS' Only £20 each! Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the owner Phil behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'

As he packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the instructions!

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions an d reads them very carefully. She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . . NOTHING happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, 'If you have any problems or questions . please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store. The owner Phil says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes,he man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'

Phil, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:


'LISTEN TO ME!! I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE ... MORE ... TIME!!!'

 

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38 comments:

  1. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 02:12

    Morning Big Guy xx Happy Fathers day Dudes !!!! My 2 had the right idea......wake daddy up at 7am, and let Mam lie in until 9am....sounds a fair deal to me !? Heading off today for an EXTREMELY exciting afternoon.....The Conna Annual Vintage Tractor Run....[don.t get too exciited people, I'm not...] It's okay-ish, except that the announcer sounds like the guy on 'Father Ted'.....I will say no more. This is then followed by a free BBQ and Tug-O-War at my local [bottom of my hill, handy enough] SO, the excitement is just bubbling over today !! Have a good one people, and enjoy your day after all the hard work this year that you have all put in !! xx




    PS - Great joke today Big Guy.....! xx

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  2. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 02:28

    Morning Elise :) Sounds like a fun packed day,,you having a tug too?? :))

    Have fun Sweetie xx

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  3. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 02:32

    Hiya Big Guy xx have you seen the size of some of the guys on TOW team ??????!!!!!!! Brick "------" House is nearer the mark here !!!! I do all my 'tugging' at work......."Nurses do it better in uniform "...... ! xx


    PS - Where is everybody ??

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  4. Mike Brooks19 June 2011 at 02:46

    Happy Father's Day



    My son Mark home for a few days from Hong Kong.
    Daughter Helen up from London.
    But I have had only ONE CARD!!!???!!!???

    Anyway, to all the Dad's out there, have one on me.

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  5. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 02:52

    PMSL ! xx

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  6. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 03:00

    Glad you got my card Mike xx LOL

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  7. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 03:40

    happy fathers day which incidently started in1910!

    Phil, men able to do something right today. Please, its fathers day not the day of miracles!!

    I am making Ian is fav lunch - mushy pea curry with chick peas as a treat.

    I'm playing with bubble wrap and inks today.

    xxx

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  8. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 03:46

    Heyyyyyyyyyy, Good Mooning All : )

    Bev, you just beat me....(nothing new there then, Miss Whiplash!), lol

    Well, blow me ('mornin' Elise!)...I hadn't realised Phil was still running his pet shop on Teesside. No wonder you're knackered Phil.
    Too much bush-trimming, red bush dye applications, beaver cleaning, and selling sex frogs.LMAO

    I love Mike's 'perfect woman'. I wonder if the Mill could hire her for next weekend?

    That 'Conna Annual Vintage Tractor Run' sounds like a lorra lorra fun. Maybe they'd allow the Bollockeers to compete next year?
    We're champion 'tuggers' after all!






    I've had two cards - one from each daughter - and both about 'FARTING!' Grrrrrr
    Lord knows what my son will come up with! I don't know where they get these ideas from.

    I really must post some pics later of the little 'presents' Katrina got me....talk about 'toilet humour' ??????

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  9. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 03:48

    Hi Bev,,I think Ian will be generating his own "Bubble"wrap after his mushy pea curry! LOL xx

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  10. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 03:50

    LMAO, did anyone spot the lightning-quick editing of the farter cartoon?

    Geeeez, I really AM Dick Slexic

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  11. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 03:52

    Yep I was just about to comment but ya slipped in just before me AGAIN!!! PMSL

    And ya slipped in beneath Bev before me! :((

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  12. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 03:55

    'nuff said then ! xx

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  13. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 03:57

    being the good, innocent girl that I am I am saying nothing!! Did make F.I.L. a card with a nude stamped on the front! That will check the ticker. It was very artistic, actually with his eyesight he probably won't notice!!

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  14. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 04:01

    I'm ALWAYS slipping it in before you, Phil.
    Always have done, always will do - the habit of a lifetime mate.

    How long have we been 'carousing' together now?
    I think we met up for a night of beaver hunting way back in 1972. Your ship was in for repairs at Middle Dock, South Shields.....right?
    Then followed 6 hours of boozing at The Beach Club, and a week of oblivion! LMAO


    BUT...I never had to visit a GUM clinic (as it used to be called then). So you see, I always did have good taste in women!
    I hear you even rogered a nurse there - and she was due to retire next day! Oh well, I was told she died happy, twenty years later at the age of 85, still talking about her Humberside Sailor Boy!
    ROFLMFBO

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  15. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 04:10

    It was Brigham Cowan dry dock South Shields Matey,and you know us BIG boys always let the "Tiddlers"go first to prepare the way!!! LMAO

    The nurse at the GUM clinic ("Big Elsie") was indeed due to retire the day after my "Visit" I'm glad I left a lasting memory with her (Long as that was all I left her with!!! )

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  16. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 04:20

    There was me thinking it was called the clap clinic.

    I knew Elsie, she died with a smile on her face. She was never the same after she met you two. She spent days after rocking in her chair brining back the memories of a good night!!!

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  17. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 04:42

    I hear she spent her retirement driving up and down to Whitby every other day hoping to catch Phil on one of his crab-hunting expeditions.

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  18. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 04:45

    ....The Captain is a force to be reckoned with George ....!!

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  19. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 04:55

    What are you two like! PMSL

    I heard the same thing George,,maybe she was just returning some? LOL

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  20. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 05:02

    Heading over to Sherri's for my pressy,catch y'all later :))

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  21. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 05:06

    Home invasion imminent (boo hoo!).....Catch y'all later too!

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  22. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 05:11

    Phil, i read that wrong, I thought you were going to Elsies for your pressie.
    I gave Ian his present first thing...

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  23. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 08:11

    Well you were up late painting them! LOL xx

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  24. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 08:15

    What is the deal with all of you and my Mother eh? Wait until next weekend......Don't say I didn't warn you ! xx

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  25. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 08:19

    Hey Elise thought you'd be off tugging by now? xx

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  26. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 08:22

    oh heck your in trouble now!!!!! What was your pressie.

    I am an excited bunny, least i think I am, have been assked to make 50 wedding invitations. My first commission. Should be fun or is that scary.

    Am being good this afternoon, the old man is asleep! x

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  27. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 08:22

    !!!!! Our team [Village] did well, BUT what was REALLY SCAREY was the 'Womens' Tug-O-War Team !!!!!! They all had more muscles than James !!!!

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  28. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 08:24

    Well done Bev !! I used to do invites years ago -Calligraphy- Photos please when done !! Best of luck xx

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  29. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 08:37

    Congrats O "Excited bunny" xx

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  30. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 08:46

    ha ha ha ! You have an answer for everything Big Guy....and a graphic !! xx

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  31. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 08:51

    Guess I always have been a bit "Graphic"huh? LOL xx

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  32. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 08:53

    I guess so ! xx

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  33. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 09:10

    The lads in action ! Cheers Big Guy xx

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  34. Phil Thompson19 June 2011 at 10:10

    You're right Elise those Irish gals are BIG!! LOL xx

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  35. Elise Cotter19 June 2011 at 10:40

    ha ha ha ! And that's the Junior team Big Guy ! xx

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  36. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 11:02

    there is some talent in the piccie but most are to young for me!

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  37. Bevie Hodgson19 June 2011 at 11:35

    this is Ian. I see her ladyship is eyeing up the talent again. She gets worse not better!! She is upstairs playing with wax, a tape measure and tin foil. Don't even go there.
    I had a peaceful afternoon. I slept for 3 hours. I left her ladyship stamping flowers.

    Did her ladyship ever tell you she once worked in a clap clinic......!! I'll be in trouble again!

    Ian

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  38. George Hardy19 June 2011 at 12:01

    Geeeez Elise! What a bunch of butch looking ladies in your town! ...and they were just the juniors????? LMAO

    Back to toilet humour.

    Fathers' Day? Who'd have kids when they go all out to embarrass you? Look what mine gave me:






    But I'm really tickled by this from Katrina (she always leaves the prices on!). - A door hanger with adjustable warnings -and I'll be taking it to Leicester - and hanging it on the room door (should keep you all away from me!) lol








    Quiet here at last. Rugrats gone. Time to put my feet up and watch some telly! lol

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