Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Happy Hump day :)

Good Morning/Evening Bollockeers and a very Happy Hump day,Cool and showery forecast today,,so don't forget ya brolly!

Hilary off and in "Shop mode",which seems to be directed at me at the moment,my jeans with holes in just won't do for the"Do"apparently!!.....I quite fancy some  "Plus fours"with a duck motif!

Hope your own day is "Shop free"and you have a good un'

Cheers

Tree Hugging!!........

While walking through the woods a man came up to another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree.

Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?

"I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied.

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

Understandably curious, the man says, "Well, OK..." So he wrapped his arms around the tree and pressed his ear up against it.

With this the other guy slapped a pair of handcuffs on him, took his wallet, jewelry, car keys, then stripped him naked and left.

Two hours later another nature lover strolled by, saw this guy handcuffed to the tree stark naked, and asked,

"What the hell happened to you?"

He told the guy the whole story about how he got there. When he finished telling his story, the other guy shook his head in sympathy, walked around behind him, kissed him behind the ear and said.... "This just isn't gonna be your day.....

 

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21 comments:

  1. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 01:14

    Jeans with holes in are designer jeans, well that is what Tim says when he buys them! You could be up in the fasion stakes.
    You could always g dress shopping with Hilary for her new outfit!!

    lol
    bev

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  2. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 01:22

    Morning Bev,,I will NOT be showing Hilary your post "New outfit!!!!!!!" Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek xx

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  3. john sherwood8 June 2011 at 01:56

    Or me to Val..!!!!!!!....Morning all.!....& why is it new shoes always come with any new outfit ?????......I have two pairs of shoes one brown for all occasions & black ones for funerals...& of course trainers & flip flops.......Jeans with holes, then I'm in fashion to............!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    : Prince Charles and the Hooker



    Prince Charles decided to take up walking every day.

    At the same street corner he passed a hooker standing there every day.

    He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.
    "One hundred and fifty pounds!" she'd shout.

    "No! Five pounds!" He said from the side of His mouth, just to shut her up.


    This ritual between him and the hooker became a daily occurrence.
    She'd yell, "One hundred and Fifty pounds!"
    He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

    One day, Camilla decided to accompany her 'husband'.

    As the couple neared the hooker's corner, Prince Charles realised she'd bark her £150 offer and Camilla would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.
    He figured he'd better have a good explanation for his Wife
    As they neared the hooker�s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual.
    Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.

    Then, the hooker yelled:

    "See what you get for five pounds, you tight bastard!".!!!!!!?

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  4. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 02:47

    but remember boys there are ways of contacting Val and Hilary!!!

    Of course shoes come are needed with a new outfit plus matching, well we won't go there!!!!

    b

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  5. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 03:31

    Just thought I would help you men for when you are shopping for clothes for Hilary and Val:

    New:
    Dress
    shoes
    handbag
    hat, depending on the occassion
    lippy
    eyeshadow
    nail varnish
    underwear - very important!!
    manicure
    pedicure
    facial

    hope this helps!!!!!

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  6. George Hardy8 June 2011 at 03:36

    Mornin' Good Peeps!

    Phil, that 'LIFE' pic is BRILLIANT. I might just copy and print that - and stick it on the rear window of my motor!

    As for Camilla.....£5 a jump? Extortionate rates innit?
    Does the £5 include a blindfold?


    Keith was right about that bloke in the pic on yesterday's blog......he must have been a complete novice or (more likely) a soppy southerner!

    As the reigning North East Coast Muff Diving Champion, I can tell you that breathing through the ears is essential, and for some us lucky guys,a natural gift. You either have it or you don't!

    Ain't that right Phil? LOL





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  7. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 03:44

    Trying to ignore Bev's post!! Scary!!! :((

    Yep George we waz born with a natural "Bent"for MD



    And of course our taches or CTs as the girls call em makes all the difference,,,,,Bev and Elise now trying to figure out what CT is!! LMAO

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  8. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 03:57

    I thought you were going shopping.
    Now I am worried of Bristol. I mislaid my fav lippy, you men have fav boxers we have fav lippies... turned my handbag out etc, etc. Where did i find it - in Ians sock drawer. ....

    lol
    b

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  9. john sherwood8 June 2011 at 04:07

    Where else would yer find it.....Bev...!!!!!!?.x,,,,,,...LOL

    This is war George 'Soppy Southerner'.......my ass.....!!!!

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  10. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 04:11

    Yep still going shopping unfortunatel Bev,,latest ETD 1pm

    So Ian isn't a "Closet"Lippie wearer he's a "Sock drawer"lippie wearer,,,? LOL

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  11. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 04:18

    thats even more worrying!!!
    Phil, does your shopping trip include lunch.
    Don't forget you have to visit every shop and then buy the item you saw in the first shop!!!! Just think of the pleasure Hilary will have spending your money!!! ENJOY!!!!

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  12. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 04:26

    Yep lunch on the cards Bev,I may stay at the first shop we go into and wait for her to return!! LOL xx

    Heading off now,,Catch ya later xx

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  13. George Hardy8 June 2011 at 06:36

    Oh, I'm certain the girls are well aware of we CT guys, particularly Elise over there in Southern Ireland.

    We have our own society, badges, bookshops - we even hold an annual CTS convention.

    See third photo (the speaker at our last 'do' in Soho. Notice the compulsory moustache - AND he even has a beard....a true master of CT).





















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  14. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 07:17

    If CT stands for what I think it does you are such bad boys! Naughty boys even!! I was so innocent I had to ask Ian what it meant. Shocked he knew such a thing!!

    I am all of a shudder with shock!!

    lol
    bev

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  15. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 09:57

    Hey wazzup?,,,Not many of us CT highest ranking Black belt 10th Dan about George,,only you and me in the North East,,None at all in the "Soppy South!" Ooops sorry John! LOL

    Bev glad Ian knew what it means,,George and I get fed up having to draw diagrams much like maps for some of the troops!!

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  16. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 10:12

    Ok what ya done with Elise George???

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  17. Bevie Hodgson8 June 2011 at 11:07

    oh bu**er just learnt an imortant lesson - don't melt glitter when the canvas is your lap cos it bl**dy well hurts. Also when you hav e finished painting put the right end of the brush in your mouth!!!
    Just thought I would tell you that!!

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  18. Elise Cotter8 June 2011 at 13:16

    Evening all xx Sorry for not being here earlier, George kidnapped me........xx

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  19. Keith Evans8 June 2011 at 13:31

    Bloody cheek, I have been able to breathe thro my ears since I was 17 and I never been up north

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  20. Phil Thompson8 June 2011 at 14:26

    I think you meant arse Keith? PMSL

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  21. Elise Cotter8 June 2011 at 14:31

    I see I didn't miss much then !

    ReplyDelete

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