Good Morning/Evening Sunday Chums and Chummettes and a VERY Happy May 1st!,
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George will be getting his pole out today for a practise session with the "Jarrow Pigeon fanciers,cloth cap, whippet amd Morris dancers allotment society"...he has several bookings already for his maypole and Morris dancers and his footwork as he twirls his ribbons around his mapole is something to behold!
Nothing as exciting for me today just a tootle to the coast for a pub lunch
Enjoy your Sunday and here's hoping for a positive May for all.and maybe a titter or three today!!,,
.........................................
Cheers
.Married Bliss.............
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it will take a few inches off of your butt!'
His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded. The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April',he hollered into the bathroom,'Why did you putTalcum Powder in my underwear?'
She replied with a snigger. 'It's not talcum powder; it's 'Miracle Grow'!!!!!!
Happy May Big Guy ! A portent of the day ? Getting geared up here for 'Togun' aka Barry later today and his Motley Crew of beer buddies....wish me luck ! Kinda cloudy here today, hope it brightens up.
ReplyDeleteOff at 5 am tomorrow morning, heading for the coast myself, and a rather inelegant ferry compared to The Independence of The Seas that Barry is gliding in on....My 'lappy' will be coming with me, here's hoping my lil' sis has paid her phone bill, so that I can hack her Wi=fi system. Be weird driving back in Blighty again....not many tractors to contend with I'll bet ! This is THE BIGGEST SECRET SINCE GEORGE ANNOUNCED HIS ORIENTATION TOWARDS SHEEP! So please don't let the 'auld folks' get wind of my impending journey....they might just up sticks and head to my other sis in Cornwall !!
Happy May Day People, may your ribbons never knot, and the beers slip down smoother than a ....well......you know the rest !! xx
Morning Elise, :)) Coo exciting underover operation tomorrow!! Hope all goes well,,Mum and Dad are in for one BIG surprise!! LOL xx
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the "Motley crew!!" LMAO
I think I will need it Big Guy ! You seen what George and Barry have been scheming ? xx
ReplyDeleteYep,,unbelievable!!! not only illegal but I believe still a hanging ofence in some parts!! PMSL!! xx
ReplyDeleteBetter warn 'em, it's THE REBEL COUNTY Barry will be visiting......get the hint from the name George !!!!! xx PS - Got your mobile on speed dial Big Guy, just incase ! xx
ReplyDeleteHappy Mayday everybody & another cracker of a day here.........
ReplyDeleteAnother barbie soon some 20 miles distance this time,but no karaoke for sure....
Have a great day everyone.. An apt poem instead of a joke today.......
A May Day Carol
Awake, awake, my pretty prithy maid,
Come out of your drowsy dream,
And step into your dairy hold,
And fetch me a bowl of cream
If not a bowl of cream, my dear,
A cup of meade to cheer,
For the Lord and Lady know we shall meet again,
To go Maying another year.
A branch of May I brought you here,
While at your keep I stand,
'Tis but a sprout all budded out,
By the power of our Lady's hand.
My song is done and I must be gone,
No longer may I stay,
Gods bless you all, the great and small,
And send you a joyous May.
Morning John,,thanks for that "Tone lifting" verse,,,,you waxing lyrical like that, sounds like you may be joining George later for a spot of Morris dancing??
ReplyDeleteMorning John XX I applaud your efforts to bring somw culture onto this site, but it will fall on deaf ears here ! RAIN here ! :-( No BBQ for me, meeting THE Topgun later, and will need all my wits about me I reckon ! PMSL ! xx
ReplyDeleteJust a Guiness or three will suffice knowing Barry Eise! LOL xx
ReplyDeleteYou been at the bottle already Big guy ?! PMSFL ! E I S E ????!!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh what the L..it sure won't be long, LOL xx
ReplyDeleteOMG!
ReplyDeleteCULTURE ON THIS SITE? NOT A CHANCE! LOL
Elise, I have every confidence that Barry will be posting me a rather 'interesting' package on his return to Blighty.
Phil set the tone for today with his 'Get Yer Pole Up' message.
Will this do? I think it needs a good old hoisting though! lol
As for glorious weather? Nah...far too WINDY for me to top up my tan.
Here's another man with a horn...give him a big CLICK! lol
How yer balls skills Matey?? LOL
ReplyDeleteO. M. G....... !
ReplyDeleteLeaving now to meet Barry....if you Guys never hear from me again....well.....great knowing you all ! xx
ReplyDeleteWell back not from a Barbie,but a 50th Birthday buffet (friend of Vals).........Do i take in what Val tells me........nope...!!?
ReplyDeleteStill it was good & warm enough to sit outside & participate in verbal intercourse & fine food & drink...
An admission........................!!...................after my earlier post to raise the cultural tone,i now accept my gaff & hope in some small way these compensate..
.
What woman can..
wash up with her left hand
cook the dinner with her right hand
sweep the floor with her left leg
do the dusting with her right leg
give you a blow-job and...
open a bottle of beer using her arse
A Swiss Army Wife..!!!
Little Billy goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Billy says 'here miss'..... " Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that’s a mouthful."
Little Billy says, "No, Miss Rogers, you’re thinking of a blowjob."
I just LOVE 'Little Billy' jokes, LMAO
ReplyDelete