WEDNESDAY 29 29 29 29 Feb!

Good Mornin' All

on this significant Wednesday

Leap Year?

How far do you think this lass will leap?

For all my friends on B TO PC

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.   

MONDAY MONDAY

Gooood Mooning Folks!

 

Quite a few of us need cheering up after

a miserable weekend, and Larry has just posted me the funniest video I've seen in years

Coming up next...and you gotta see it!

LMAO

Joke time

These are from Curtis Palmer, originally posted in alt.support.cancer.prostate. Enjoy,

Curtis wrote:

“Biopsies are no joke, but a physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his male patients while he was performing their biopsies. I must say I was excited to see this, because there is a lot of potential humor in biopsies.” [Also, DRE's: seems like everyone has a pet name for these.]

{1} “Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”

{2} “Find Amelia Earhart yet?”

{3} “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?”

{4} “You know, in Arkansas, we’re now legally married.”

{6} “Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?”

{7} “You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out…”

{8} “Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”

{9} “If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”

{10} “Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.”

{11} “You used to be an executive at Enron, didn’t you?”

And the best one of all..

{12} “Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?

When I saw these, I remarked to dear hubby, “You know PC is a ‘gold mine’ for jokes.” A “gold mine” indeed. Not when you’re the ore being mined!

Take care.

Sunday Hellooooooooo

Gooood Moaning Peeps

 

Another Sunday

Another Rugrat Invasion Here

OH NO!

 Germ warfare suits at the ready

Gun loaded, Tasers charged

I'm ready for the worst....

Have a Grrrrrrrrrrreat Day Folks!

 

A BIG HELLO & WELCOME LARRY

Let's Have A

BIG WARM WELCOME

for our newest member

LARRY

(Larrymac on the PCC)

Come in, sit down, put your feet up,

have a good ole browse around,

and

ENJOY THE INSANITY!

Hobby time

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/3072021.stm

Saturday Happy

WELL IT WILL BE WATCHING OUR LOCAL TEAM IN ACTION AFTER RECENT BAD WEATHER..............DOGGING FIRST THOUGH...

HOPE ITS AS MENTIONED.........A GREAT WEEKENDER... PINT OR TWO TONITE ........CHEERS.!!!

 

Actual call centre conversations! Customer: 'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through; Can you help ?' Operator: 'Where did you get that number, sir ?' Customer: 'It's on the door of your business.' Operator: 'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.' +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Samsung Electronics Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack ?' Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.' Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack ?' Operator: 'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- RAC Motoring Services Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am Traveling in Australia ?' Operator; 'Does the product name give you a clue ?' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in Europe ) 'If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car ?' ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Directory Enquiries Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please' Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct ? Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.' ------------------ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: 'Woven ? Are you sure?' Caller: 'Yes.That's what it says on the label -- 'Woven in Scotland '

 

 

 

Involuntary Muscle Contraction?


Professor Higgins at the University of Sydney was giving a lecture on
'Involuntary Muscle Contraction' to the first year medical students.

This was not an exciting subject and the professor decided to lighten
up the mood to keep the student’s attention.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and asked, 'Do you know
what your arsehole is doing while you're having an orgasm?'


She replied, 'Probably golfing with his mates.'..!!!!!

It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom!.....

Shirley's Birthday (The Big 77!!)

Start:

May 24, '12

Chris Butcher's wife, Shirley

Chris & Shirley's 31st Wedding Anniversary

Start:

May 1, '12

Someones retirement day

ENJOY YOUR

RETIREMENT

IAN.

 

BEV, my comiserations for having him under your feet all day !!

Mind you if he does the housework, you can do more craftwork !!

 

 

 

 

Thursday Thirsty

AFTER CONTINUOUS RAIN SINCE YESTERDAY AFTERNOON....ITS NOW DRYISH.......OFFICIAL DROUGHT BEEN ANNOUNCED THIS WAY TO.....UMMMM.

jUST LIKE TO PAY TRIBUTE TO A GREAT COMEDIAN,WHO MADE YOU FEEL GOOD,WHATEVER THE JOKE.....ITS A CRACKER HIMSELF.

FRANK CARSON..R.I.P.

 

Here is a collection of Frank's crackers...

* My father fought in World War I single-handedly destroyed the Germans' lines of communication. He ate their pigeon.

* Paddy calls a wrong number at 3am. "Is that O'Malley's Bar?" he asks. "No it's not, this is a private residence." "Oh, I must have the wrong number. Sorry to have troubled you," says Paddy. "Ah it's no trouble," says the stranger. "I had to get up to answer the phone anyway."

* A fella walks into a pet shop and says: “Give me a wasp.” The shopkeeper replies: “We don’t sell wasps.” He says: “There’s one in the window.”

* Someone threw a petrol bomb at Alex Higgins once. He drank it.

* A man goes into Boots and says: “Have you got Viagra?” “Do you have a prescription?” asks the chemist. “No,” he replies, “But I’ve got a photograph of the wife...”

* A fella walked into hospital and the doctor said: “You’ve got three minutes to live.” The man said: “Can you do something for me?” “Yes,” he said. “I’ll boil you an egg.”

* I don't think my wife likes me very much. When I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance.

* A fella said to the doctor: “What’s the good news?” “You’ve got 24 hours to live.” He says: “What’s the bad news?” And the doc says: “We should have told you yesterday.”

* I rang British Telecom. I said, “I want to report a nuisance caller.” He said: "Not you again.”

* My uncle Jimmy took liver salts twice a day for 40 years. He died on Sunday, was buried Wednesday and the following Friday they had to go to the cemetery to beat his liver to death with a stick.

* My wife said to me: “If you won the lottery, would you still love me?” I said: “Of course I would. I’d miss you, but I’d still love you.”

* An Irishman's wife gave birth to twins. Her husband demanded to know who the other man was.

* Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?

 

 

WELL HAVE THE LURGY TODAY,& I NEED A TONIC...

G & T WILL DO NICELY.............HAVE A GENTLE DAY ALL

WEDNESDAY: Willies of the world unite!

Good Morning Silly Peeples

Well, you were warned

No Mardi Bras from our ladies yesterday

(Sheena's sheep didn't count)

So today we have a deluge of willies  in retaliation!

(I know, I know....Little things please little minds, lol)

 

I thought it was the HT

http://www.omg-facts.com/view/Facts/49066

sucking all those Liquorice  pipes does you no good

 

Playing games

Hi folks,

I'm trying (very trying) to have a 'Games' section here.

It should be found on the homepage, and if you add a game...please tag it as 'PLAYTIME'

 

Ta!

TUESDAY. Show us yer pancakes!!

Happy Flipping Tuesday

Good Peeps.

Pancake Tuesday

Fat Tuesday

Mardi Gras

&

Mardi Bras?

(Where are they all?)

I've waited eagerly for the ladies to submit photos of their masterpieces....IN VAIN!

And we have scores of guys here, lining up

to do some tossing!

Oh well, while we wait for the first pics

to trickle through. I'll find something to

enertain the frustrated old farts here

(Watch this space)

Monday - Eve of Mardi Gras

Hello and Good Morning

All you Good Peeps

Terry reminded me that tomorrow is

Mardi Gras in new Orleans

And...he's come up with a great suggestion

on how we can celebrate it here

WE CAN HAVE

MARDI BRAS TUESDAY

Get those body paints out girls, and let's see all your masterpieces posted here tomorrow.

Look out for some help in choosing your theme

(Coming up next!)

Sunny Sunday

~~~I-C-U~~~

I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I
would look in on you and see if you're sitting

at your computer and if you're OK.
Yup, there you are and you look great!

A GREAT WIN FOR SUNDERLAND & FINGERS CROSSED FOR SPURS TO.....

HAVE A GREAT DAY WHAT 'ERE YOU DO..

 

 

Saturday: Rocking weekend

Hey Folks,

Don't let your weak-end get you down!

 

What was Elise saying about

Roger and me being on her 'Gaydar'?

LMAO

Well that's Roger (above) doing a pagan ritual on the fens

And here's me busking for beer money in Jarrow.

Having a 'singing, dancing, non-stop party' weekend folks

 

 

 

 

 

Frickin' Friday

Goood Mooning Peeps

Friday again....and the weak end cometh!

Time for important decisions....like...

Is it safe enough to get a haircut yet?

I kid you not, I would easily win a

'Doddy Lookalike' contest.

If you're taking a trip out to any

weekend fares or car boot sales

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU'RE BUYING!

 

Thirsty Thursday

THURSDAY AGAIN PEEPS,& SOON BE THE WEEKEND.........AGAIN..!!!!

ANOTHER DAY OF DOCTORS APPOINTMENTS & CHASING UP ONCOLOGISTS SEC TO GET  MY POST CONSULTATION  LETTER..........HUH.!!!!

TONITE THOUGH IS CHARITY QUIZ NIGHT,& A GOOD LAUGH,ALTHOUGH A BIT SNACKY & WINEY,BUT ALL FOR A GOOD CAUSE....

HOPE ITS A GOOD DAY FOR ALL........CHEERS.!!!

 

A doctor is going around the ward with a nurse& they come to the first bed,where the the chap is half dead............"Did you give this man two tablets every eight hours?"asks the doctor....

"Oh no," replies the nurse,"i gave eight tablets every two hours!"

At the next bed the next patient appears half dead........."Nurse,did you give this man one tablet every 12 hours?"

"Ooops,i gave him 12 tablets every one hour,"replies the nurse.....

Unfortunately at the next bed the patient is well & truly deceased...not an ounce of life at all....

"Nurse",asks the doctor,"did you prick his boil?"...

"OH MY GOODNESS!"replies the nurse...!!!!!! 

 

Husband..."When you die,I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"here lies my wife,cold as ever".

Wife....."Yeah?.Yours will read "Here lies my husband.stiff at last"!!

 

 

A man walks into a pub."Pint of the best" he says to the barman....Whilst waiting for his drink he notices that Vincent Van Gogh is sitting at one of the tables.He goes up to him & asks"Are you Vincent Van Gogh?"...."Yes," the very old man replies...."Do you want a pint?" the man asks.!

"No ta,I have one ear".!! 

Hump Day - Order In The Ranks

Happy Hump Day Bollockeers........

Time to smarten up a bit after the silliness of yesterday........I WILL be cracking the whip today.....

......After I just have a closer inspection of
 'Cuprinol Man'.....

I see George is getting himself toned up for June....WTG Boss ! What a bod !

....Hard to believe you were looking like this in December......PMSL !

So, time for Lil' Duck to tidy up the joint today.....

Get cracking ...

...... and say how disappointed I am that new levels of craziness have yet to be reached here.

A word of warning on the use of Laxatives ......NOT NEEDED where our Terry lives ! LMFAO !

I am watching.....

Quack Quack !