Tuesday sun..

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,,predictable suinshine and blue skies back after a grey and cool Bank Holiday,

Day to myself as Hilary heads out before going on to work to the funeral of Chris a young, quiet lad 17years old who was doing work experience where she works.....he was killed about 10 days ago when on a night out he left his Mates in a pub and went for a pizza,,,,,got into an argument with a group of queue jumpers,,,ended up he was punched in the chest fell backwards cracking his head fracturing his skull,,,,died there and then,,,very sad loss of a young life.

Catch up day for me after another lonng weekend,,hope you had a good one and are set for a good "Truncated"week ahead

"Stealth"bomber?.............................................

Cheers

Sailor............................

A widowers daughter was marrying a sailor..... the day before the wedding, the father knowing what sailors are like, says to his daughter " if your new husband ever wants sex "the other way round", tell me and I will have a word with him".

 Six months after the wedding, she is still puzzled by what her father said, so she asks her husband if he would like to try sex "the other way round" for a change. Her husband says,,,, ""No, I don't want a house full of children!"

 

 

 

 

Manky Monday..

Good Morning/Evening long weekenders,,,bit of a Manky start to the day ere',grey and rainy..

We were gonna head off down the coast fot a tootle round and a spot of lunch somewhere,,not exactly beach weather so sadly my new pink lattice posing pouch will have to stay in my lingerie draw(Morning George) !!more of a  pvc today I think!................

 

Have a fun Bank Holiday whatever you're up to,

Cheers

Happy and Sad...................

A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of "mixed emotions".

  The husband turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that is a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.

She said: "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

 

Sunday Stoppy in...

Good Morning/Evening Bollockeers,,Hi Ernie and Daphne..Overcast,cool,windy(Morning George) and looks like rain up ere in North Yorks,,,,, Stoppy in day watching the  Grand Prix taking place in stunning Monaco,,which does bear more than a passing resemblance to  Jarrow sur mer? .............. Have a relaxing day whatever you're up to, Cheers   Three women Three women who were friends in school have returned to their hometown to attend their 25th reunion and have lunch together. Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other. The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor. The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes,"and looks about with considerable pride. The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions -- but 13 canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis." After a long silence, the first woman looks shame-faced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera -- we're going to skegness for two weeks." The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes -- he bought me an astra." "Well," the third woman says, "I also have a confession to make. Canary number 13 has to stand on one leg."

Leicester 2011 FINAL LIST

OMG!

Four weeks today...and we'll be at the biggest Chimps' Tea Party you ever did see!

 

 Here is the FINAL list of the loonies attending on the day:  

Alex & Pat (fingers crossed)

Allan Plant

Allister

Barry & Barbara Gown

Barry and Karen Newman (Topgun)

Chris & Pat (Crolyat)

Chris & Shirley (now moved safely home to UK)

Colin & Lynne

Colin Coote

Dan Sencier

Dave & Maggie

Elise

Gillian & Gearld Jones (from Arizona)

George, Lynn & Katrina

Grant & Sandra

Ian & Elsie (Elise's mam & dad)

Joe Kandekore

Janet Daykin

John & Joyce Bolton

John & Lyn Eyre

John & Val

Keith & Carolyn Cass

Keith & Nette

Mark & Deb

Michael & Carol Moore

Mike & Kath

Paul & Julia Jordan

Paul & Val Dones (Tarrawack)

Phil & Lesley Baker

Phil & Pam Clarke

Phil ('Wor Phil') & Hilary

(Too many bloody Philips around. Where you all born at the same time as the Old DuKe of E?..Phil The Greek???) LOL

Ron & Terri McCoo (Casamaluca)

Rob & Michelle

Roger & Brenda

 

Personal message from me to Lil' Duck:

'

Welcome Ernie,,

Please join me in A BIG Bollockeers...............

 to Ernie,Bevs Dad who is visiting the "Bevian" household this weekend,and will be looking in on us,

Hi to Daphne too,Bev's Mum who will be riding shotgun on the weekends proceedings!

Have a GREAT Visit and a terrific weekend,,

Cheers

Phil and the Bollockeers,

 

 

 

 

Saturday "Inside job"

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Bollockeers,,and a big Hi to Bev's Mum and Dad,Ernie and Daphne who are down for a visit,,

Bev's Dad Ernie is now our "Mole"on the inside, and we're looking forward to his reports that I'm sure will shed some light on Ian's proclivity for Nuns wear,,and the imaginative use of chains,whips hot wax and the ironing board in the "Bevian" household !

Have a great weekend Bev Ian Ernie and Daphne....................................

Indoor pursuits for me today,,Hilary at work so it's volume up for the Monaco Grand Prix quallifying(Morning George),,and some fun in the kithcen whipping(Morning Bev)up a Mince and Dhall curry,,for movie night tonight!

Have a terrific day whatever you're up to!

Anyone for tennis,,role on Wimblers!! ........................................

Cheers

Short Cut
-------------------------

A biker stopped by the local Harley Shop to have his bike repaired. They couldn't do the work while he waited, and so, since he didn't live far from the shop, he decided to walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and an anvil. He stopped at the feed store / livestock dealer and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, he had a problem... How to carry his entire purchases home.

The feed store owner said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" "Hey, thanks!" said the biker, and out the door he went.

In the parking lot he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost, and asked if he could tell her the way to 1603 Mockingbird Lane.

The biker said, as a matter of fact, I live at 1616 Mockingbird Lane." We can take a short cut down this alley and be there in no time".

The little old lady looked him over cautiously, and then said, "I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and ravish me?"

The biker said, "Holy smokes lady! I'm carrying a bucket, an anvil, two chickens, and a goose. How in Hell could I possibly hold you up against a wall and do that?"

The lady said, "Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the anvil on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."