Happy Friday Bollockeers !!
Looks like MULTIPLY are messing about in the IT Department again today.......
........ I really must go and sort them out ........
........ I really must go and sort them out ........
Happy Friday Big Guy xx Hoping that you get a stay of execution today, and reacquaint yourself with our favorite tipple.......Best of luck there !
Thought I would get a few of the 'lads' ready for you, so take your pick !
Another BEAUTIFUL SUNNY DAY here in The Rebel County ! Blimey, it could be Spring at last !
I see that Phils' Pussy has been out on the raz' while he has been on enforced dry rations........hope she left some in the bottle for ya !!!!
Have a grrrrrrrreat Friday, and a wicked weekend Bollockeers !
Have a grrrrrrrreat Friday, and a wicked weekend Bollockeers !
And always, always, ALWAYS follow the Bollockeers motto.......
"NEVER, NEVER, EVER BE GOOD" !
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:
MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them..
"NEVER, NEVER, EVER BE GOOD" !
Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of:
MOUNT & DO.
Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them..
Good Morning/Evening Fffffriday Peeps,,,,Thanks for the lovely cheery greeting Elise xxx,love the "Mount and Do" PMSL
ReplyDeleteFffffoggy start round ere and not a breath of wind(Morning George)..............
Yep Elise I am hoping to tittilate my tonsils tonite with a coupla amber shots after only the odd glass of vino or three since breaking out of the "Bollockeer repair shop"on Saturday night
Enjoy the sunshine Elise and Bollockeers have a Ffffffab Fffffffriday!!!
Cheers
How Long?
-------------------------
A man wakes up in the hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, 'Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now, you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the freeway.. You're going to be okay, you'll walk again and everything, but..... something happened. I'm trying to break this gently, but the fact is, your penis was chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find it.'
The man groans, but the doctor goes on, 'You've got $9,000 in insurance compensation coming and we have the technology now to build you a new penis that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact! But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's $1,000 an inch.'
The man perks up at this. 'So,' the doctor says, 'it's for you to decide how many inches you want. But it's something you'd better discuss with your
wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before, and you decide to go for a nine incher, she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before, and you decide only to invest in a five incher this time, she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision.'
The man agrees to talk with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day.
'So,' says the doctor, 'have you spoken with your wife?'
'I have,' says the man.
'And has she helped you in making the decision?'
'Yes, she has,' says the man.
'And what is it?' asks the doctor.
'We're getting granite countertops.'
Am I too early???
Granite Countertops !!! PMSFL !! Good one Big Guy xx Morning to you too ! Chaos here just now [whats new] Hoping the anticipation last until tonight for you at least ! xx
ReplyDeleteMorning Sweetie xx,,after spending long periods living a monastic(Yeah right! PMSL) and nomadic life roamimg the oceans,I have learnt how to keeep my anticipation in check and be patient,,Nah I wannit NOW!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteDo you like my Easter bunnies?
Ha Ha Ha ! I never saw them ! It hadn't loaded..... They are kinda cute though ! Early ? Nah...........Premature...........Catch you later xx
ReplyDeleteYOU TWO ARE A HOOT! PMSL here!
ReplyDeleteMornin'all.....I just can't post as early as these two 'Balvenie Bandits'..my body wakes at 8 and my brain starts to function 3 hours later.
Beautiful spring weather here...just as we head into BRITISH SUMMER TIME.(has there ever been a bigger misnomer than that one????)
I may sunbathe nude in the garden today. Well, we need something to scare the birds away from the lawn seed! lol
Hi everyone,
ReplyDeleteFabulous weather here in the Midlands, hot and sticky!!
I may get into the garden too George, I've got a book to read that I picked up when visiting my son Mark in Hong Kong.
Morning George xx BALVENIE BANDITS !! I love it !! I see CUPRINOL MAN is back outta hibernation !!
ReplyDeleteMorning Mike xx Cool shop...what's the title of the book ?????
Hi all too.....George same here,& Val finishing early,then out to a Country pub lunch,paid for by the M.I.L.!!!!!!!!?
ReplyDeleteYer know......she's not so bad really..!!!!!
Off out to do some man shopping to.....nuts bolts & screws ..
Hi Mike......nice one,glad it wasn't 'wong'in your case.....!!!!
Morning John xx Lunch paid for by the MIL ??? What did you DO !!!!!
ReplyDeleteMorning Chaps,,,George beware sunbathing in the nude with those birds about!,,,you know what they say about early birds and worms! PMSL
ReplyDelete....small worms......I know my Chooks love 'em George, so watch out there ! PMSL ! xx
ReplyDeleteHi Elise......Big heart to heart talk between MIL & Val last night,while i was out...
ReplyDeleteBit of an olive branch me thinks....xx
see yer,.catch up later
Hi Elise,
ReplyDeleteThe title of the book is:-
迈克布鲁克斯
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha ! I asked for that !! Nice one !! xx
ReplyDeleteEvening all.,,just ordered a Chinese,,,gotta be sloshed down with coupla glasses of vino and apparently I have amassed enough Brownie points for a coupla Malts,
ReplyDeleteHappy Days! LOL
Have a good evening Peeps,
Congratulations Big Guy !!! I have started already, so you have a bit of catching up to do !! Enjoy ! Slainte ! xx
ReplyDeleteCheers Sweetie,xxx
ReplyDelete....Hic...... xx
ReplyDeleteHi, Elise, (I'm a lurking)..xx..Well after enjoying a'slap up' meal courtesy of M.I.L.,I'm staying in tonite,but 'Glenny' keeps looking at me with seductive anticipation so hey ho !!....Phil,i'm sure a couple of generous 'malts' will be just fine...!!!!!?
ReplyDeletehelp yer relax, & chill out...
Anyone heard from Bev? or Alex?
Hiya John xx Saw ya lurking dude [its 'my' blog today, so get viewing history priviledges] was wondering when you were gonna pop up ! Big Guy will be out cold after one Balvenie....he aint used to the hard stuff no more....PMSFL !!...reckon even I could drink him under the table now ! :-) [That'll wake him up, guess I'm in trouble now huh?? !!!]
ReplyDeleteJust had Val pop up on FB....so sent her a friend request....you better start worrying now John !!! PMSFL !!
I have had a 'few' Bs now......well, I couldn't let a little bit in the bottom, could I ? !!
Not heard directly from Bev, but she has been lurking about the place, so is around, and hoping she is okay xx
Not heard a dicky bird from Alex. He posted on PCC earlier this week, but nothing since ? Don't know whats going on to be honest.
Enjoy the Glennie Dude xx
John ?? I have something for ya, the next time MIL comes to stay XX
ReplyDeleteOh dear.......Val is on Facebook.....I'm not !!........It be up to her i guess Elise....sleeping at mo bless her...!!
ReplyDelete1000 mg of 'Fukitol' may just work.......M.I.L. is a bit domineering....I say no more...except..glad its only temporary...!!!!?
Alex did post me...i responded,but not heard back as yet...
Are you at work tomorrow?xx
Working right the way through now. Not off until Wednesday. Text if your phone working. Heading to bed, up early the next few days. Be good ! xx
ReplyDeleteI try.!....nite nite...x
ReplyDeleteJohn, surely it is
ReplyDeleteNut screws washers and bolts!