Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,
Hope you're weekend was fun!
Beautiful Spring like day here,no doubt the lambs will be dropping as we speak,(Morning George)...poor Elise missing out at work today..
Back to hossy for me this afta for tests one to make sure my brain is functioning normally!(they kidding or what???never has! PMSL)
Whatever you're up to have a good un'
Cheers
King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried about leaving his beautiful Queen Guinevere alone with all those lonely Knights of the Round Table. So he went to his famous wizard, Merlin, for some advice.
After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said to come back in a week and he'd see if he could come up with something.
A week later King Arthur was back in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. "This is no good, Merlin!" the king exclaimed, "Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?"
"Ah, sire, just observe." said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for. He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two.
"Merlin, you are a genius!" said the grateful monarch, "Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected." After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest.
Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad who still had his intact,
"Sir Galahad," exclaimed King Arthur, "The one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!"
But Sir Galahad was speechless!
Good Luck with your 'Brain of Britain' test, Phil.
ReplyDeleteNothing to worry about mate!
And I see the terrible twins posted at the same time today. That proves Phil was banished to his own house last night.
The fumes were still toxic as he left here.
All we had to do was aim him southwards, strike a match next to his arse, and whoooooooosh...he was in Middlesborough in 90 seconds!
I'll be happy if they find one George!! LMAO
ReplyDeleteGreat Joke Phil !...Did yer hear me laughing out loud,?!!...Vals at home too today,yeh still in bed resting her cough!...anyway she jumped from the bed, as it was so loud,!! (i was downstairs)....Must shoot as Val has given me a whole load of tasks,starting with the hoovering,as its our turn to have the Mum In Law....until the fire damage is completed on her property...Oh joy.!
ReplyDeleteYes,welcome back to 'The Terrible Twins'...Thought yesterdays banter on ere was just sooooooo good !!!
Morning John,,You having the MIL for dinner? (tough old birds!LOL)...fire damage??? (they still burn em in your neck of the woods?)
ReplyDeletePlease tell Val I hope she is soon up and about again,xxx
Happy Hoovering Matey! ;)
So do i, Phil....!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is i say to Val,would it not be better to have MIL for 2 weeks,rather than 1 week,so as not to unsettle her so often,but Vals adamant "one weeks enough thankyou" ...
FORGOT TO SAY MATEY...Good luck at the hossy.......
Was just thinking about that brain exam.
ReplyDeleteYou're going to the urology department aren't you Phil?
That where mine was tested too!
It took only 2 days for my result to come back:
ReplyDeleteBut...I wouldn't worry, Phil...you're MUCH sharper than me, any day! lol
No... Neurology George not Urology, seems I havn't got water on the brain after all!! LMAO
ReplyDeleteThanks John there and back in 2 hours, :))
Well - they said it had to be UROLGY for me.
ReplyDeletePhil, you must have your brain in the right place (working or not) if you were sent to the neurolgy dept.
So you can relax now, you're still a SMART ASS.... No damage done! : )~
Maybe just wishful thinking on their part? sending me to neurology, LOL
ReplyDeleteEvening All. You are all very chipper and bright !? SSDD here xx
ReplyDeleteSSDD?
ReplyDeleteHey I just heard from the MOS our "Head"waitress for the do is a gal named Monika L!
She looks very accomodating,
Yes Big Guy S S D D ! ! ! !
ReplyDeleteMonica will definitely be a good choice for the Massage Parlour at MOS ....I believe she doesn't say a lot, but has her mouth in the right place........
Sounds bad!! SSDD!,,,OK, maybe,Same Stuff Different Day???
ReplyDeleteRe Monika in June...What is they say "One swallow doesn't a Summer make" LOL
S S D D .......am I not speaking the same damm language here ???? YOU MUST have heard that one Big Guy !! Come on !!
ReplyDeleteMonika, yes, one swallow does not a summer make, but our Monika can get in plenty of swallows when she is up for it.......
SAME SHIT DIFFERENT DAY............FFS...........Now Multiply is switching its attention back to me !!!!! GEORGE !!!!!
ReplyDeleteYeah I got it first post after Monika! look back LOL
ReplyDeleteDinner and Vino time Sweetie,,catch ya later,have a good evening XXXX
I'm just going to go and shoot myself now...... xx
ReplyDeleteJust catching up....
ReplyDeleteWELCOME BACK PHIL !
( Just in case your hearing was affected of course)
So the infection went to the brain huh ?
Hmmm. I'll say no more about that.
'course, this could have been a cunning plan to get sympathetic drinks from all at The Mill in June. Never knowing what these sailors scheme up.
Reckon it will probably work though.
Now stay out of trouble !
phil, had your brain tested with the neuro guys?? I thought all mens brains were tested in urology as that is where the brain cell is!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am saying nothing about swallows only that someone has written a receipe book and it available on line. yuk, yuk and more yuk!!!!
I'll leave you with that thought my lovelies xx
Hi Bev xx You REALLY don't need to encourage them you know ! xx
ReplyDeleteIf you want to do some cooking I could post the link. You think I'm joking I am not!!
ReplyDeleteCan't....broke my last 'lasts a lifetime' saucepan.....won't tell you how or on who......looking on line for more if my lot ever want to eat again.....maybe email me actually, as I am intrigued ! xx
ReplyDeleteCheers Rob! LOL :))
ReplyDeleteNow what are you girls on about?,,saucepans, Monika,Swallow recipes??,,my brain urts!... that a good sign?? LOL
Oh Big Guy HELP !!!!!!!!!! I cannot find the range of saucepans that I have now completely destroted....not made anymore.......I am well and truly up the creek here now :-( Need heavy based, heat induction, suitable for ceramic hobs, and CANNOT find a decent thing here...................... still aiting for Bevs link BTW....my interest is piqued spectacularly ! XX
ReplyDeleteYour brain hurts ?????? Hoping thats a good sign for you Big Guy !!! Don't over do it now !! xx
ReplyDeleteLOL,, No heading off to bed I'm knackered!,,I'll have a browse round tomorrow for some pans with your requirements,,
ReplyDeleteNite Sweetie XXX Nite all :))
Nite Big guy....sweet dreams ! xx
ReplyDeleteHi all....
ReplyDeleteThought i say a late 'Hello' .........
Umm,seems normal on here....Confusion...Double meanings,& excellent banter.....
Elise,please say how saucepan got broke as I'm well intrigued.....x