Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Tuesday knockers

Good Mornming/Evening Tuesday Peeps,,,"Knocked up"at 820am by a spotty youth with a tag round his neck and a clipboard wanting me to change my energy supplier!!!

I think he must have got the the idea that I wasn't interested by the steam coming out of my ears,my dressing gown flapping in the breeze and the string of suggestions as to where he should go, and what to do with his clipboard,,Smileycons!I'm just not a "People person"first thing! LOL

Nice bright sunny day and I'm off into my "Firewater shed to do a stock take..Smileycons!

Have a good un' whatever you're up too

Cheers

Dave was staring sadly into his pint and sighed heavily.

"What's up Dave" asked the Landlord.

"It's not like you to be so down in the mouth"

"It's my four year old son." the man replied.

"Don't tell me, he's in trouble for fighting in school? - my lad's just the same - forget about it, it happens to boys that age" said the landlord, sympathetically.

" I only wish it was that" continued the customer, " but it's far worse than that. The little bastard has got our gorgeous 18 year old next door neighbour pregnant."

"Get away, that's impossible!" gasped the landlord

"It's not"  said the man.

"The little sod stuck a pin in all my condoms"

Posted by at

31 comments:

  1. Daniel Sencier8 February 2011 at 00:43

    I instantly thought of the RSPB when I saw that photo Phil. 3 birds, but one hell of a different life if you are unlucky enough to be a chicken (Unless you live with Elise!). If you found a Flamingo in your garden the RSPB and BBC would be there like a shot. Yet we farm chickens in concentration camp conditions all over the world. I wonder what Flamingos taste like?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Phil Thompson8 February 2011 at 00:54

    Morning Dan,Yep if I was a chook I'd want to be handled by Elise too!! LOL
    Flamingo drumsticks...Hmmmmmmm?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Daniel Sencier8 February 2011 at 01:05

    Yep I'll second that!! As for the drumsticks, maybe go for an ostrich, or how about a pterodactyl? You could freeze a flamingo and use it as a putter!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Mike Brooks8 February 2011 at 01:15

    Here's another bird that needs protection





    And here's a bird to do the protecting!

    ReplyDelete
  5. john sherwood8 February 2011 at 01:18

    Haha...Morning all..& a glorious day here on the SusSEX coast..
    About to go dogging,but venture along the coast for a change...morning Mike (see yer ahead of me)
    As theme is the feathered ones...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i115sGh0dk




    ...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Phil Thompson8 February 2011 at 01:26

    Morning Mike ,,Morning John..LIke the chicken clip LOL,,dances a bit like me after a few jars! LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  7. Daniel Sencier8 February 2011 at 01:32

    Quality :-) lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. George Hardy8 February 2011 at 01:59

    Dan? If you meet this bunch at Leicester, you'll see the quality clearly, LMAO.

    Speaking of Leicester....very few seats left, so if anyone here hasn't booked up yet, please get in touch a.s.a.p.

    ReplyDelete
  9. George Hardy8 February 2011 at 08:01

    Hi Good Peeps,

    I can breathe a little more easily now after seeing the onco today.
    Although PSA continues to rise slowly (11 now) the plan is to wait till (IF) it hits 20 before returning to treatment.
    Because.....
    Bone scan showed arthritis (NOT metastases) and CT scans were clear apart from some very small nodules on the lung, (NOT cancer) and probably cause by those chest infections that persisited over three months of winter.

    Man I am so relieved. The bone pain has had me worried for a while.
    Mind you, as soon as he said 'There are nodules on the lungs'.......I must have gasped and held my breath fro a full minute! lol

    I VOW THAT I WILL QUIT THE CIGGIES VERY SOON You are all witness to that!

    Would I DARE turn up at Leicester, still a smoker? Geeez no..I'd be lynched! lol

    ReplyDelete
  10. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 08:08

    Evening All - Bad day here for me. George ? DELIGHTED with your news....just knew it was gonna be good, didn't I say that to you?! Dudes, you all wanna be handled by me eh? Well, you can't touch what you can't afford ! PMSL !! XX

    ReplyDelete
  11. Phil Thompson8 February 2011 at 08:22

    Nice one George!! (I've pencilled you back in on my Christmas card list again,,sod the expense!! LOL) Cheers Matey

    Hi Elise,,sorry you've had such a crap day,,try and relax with a coupla Malts or three!!,,BIG Hugs xxx

    ReplyDelete
  12. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 08:26

    loads of these Big Guy xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. john sherwood8 February 2011 at 08:52

    Likewise George.!...nah not xxxxxx.!?........I mean the brilliant result from your Onco.....Now give the weed up...you know it makes sense..!!
    Elise.......am saving up hard..!!!? lol....sorry to hear it was a shitty day though.x
    Lets all pour a malt tonite, & 'toast' to the bollockeers.....!!.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 08:54

    couldn't have said it better myself John ! I will have a triple !!!!!! LMAO !! xxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  15. Keith Evans8 February 2011 at 09:18

    Elise
    coould we handle you for a Euro......No
    could we handle you for a million Euro........probably




    so now we know, we just got to negotiate right?

    George, take up the red or the malt, does less harm than the ciggies

    ReplyDelete
  16. Daniel Sencier8 February 2011 at 10:03

    That's just great George, just great, so pleased for you. I am getting used to that 'every pain must be cancer' feeling, when it rarely is!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Bevie Hodgson8 February 2011 at 10:34

    Hi George, thats fab. Have been thinking of you to day.
    Any one want a teenager he is going free to a good home. He is such a little darlin. I am a cruel mother as I don't wash his clothes unless they get put in the basket. Apparently he ran out of clean boxers last week and, no I am not going to tell you what he has been doing....... and they are still not in the basket. Yuk, yuk and more yuk!!!!!

    xx

    ReplyDelete
  18. Mike Brooks8 February 2011 at 10:34

    Great news George.
    Now, how can I get you and Kath get together so that you both stop smoking. Any suggestions?

    Keith, can I join you in your negotiation with Elise?
    Mike

    ReplyDelete
  19. Bevie Hodgson8 February 2011 at 10:44

    How to stop smoking:
    Take one jam jar with lid. Add, each day, to the same jar exactly what you would have spent on cigs and watch it mount up:
    Based on £5.00 per packet per day +
    £35.00 per week
    140.00 per week
    1, 680.oo per year
    8,400 per five years
    18,800 per ten years.

    Happy spending xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. Bevie Hodgson8 February 2011 at 10:44

    That should read £140.00 per month!!

    ReplyDelete
  21. john sherwood8 February 2011 at 11:15

    Bevie, Hi,& thats a good way of looking at it.!.......When i stopped,many years ago i was going to put it aside,but ended up spending it on other things.!!!?..Hows the photobucket animations going...Try starting with a pic on your post profile & your 'own site'.....I've a lot to learn too..x

    ReplyDelete
  22. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 11:30

    Hi Bev, you getting grief ? Leave him to it !

    Keith, can I join you in your negotiation with Elise?
    Mike

    Mike? Didn't realise I was under negotiation ...... ??!!


    Hey Big Guy !!!!!!!! You seeing all this !? xx

    ReplyDelete
  23. Phil Thompson8 February 2011 at 11:45

    I only came in for a lurk LMAO!! xx

    ReplyDelete
  24. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 11:49

    But Dude they are NEGOTIATING me !! ......ain't you in the bidding...... ????? xx

    ReplyDelete
  25. colin cook8 February 2011 at 12:13

    Great news George

    ReplyDelete
  26. john sherwood8 February 2011 at 12:22

    I wager my Ferrari,cruiser,mainsion in Mayfair,Caribbean island,my exclusive art collection,& my dog.....Hows that for an opening bid...& no i haven't had too many 'sherberts'.........yet..!!! lol

    ReplyDelete
  27. Elise Cotter8 February 2011 at 12:25

    Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha !!! LMAO !! xx

    PS - What about the yellow lamborghini Dude ! xxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  28. Phil Thompson8 February 2011 at 13:48

    Wow John AND your DOG?????now that IS a serious bid!! PMSL

    ReplyDelete
  29. Mike Brooks8 February 2011 at 23:59

    Elise, don't be fooled!
    John's bid is too expensive to maintain!!

    What's the weather like in Ireland? Will it snow soon?
    I can send you one of the loves of my life, a Carbon Steel, Solid Socket Shovel!
    Try topping that bid John!!!

    ReplyDelete
  30. George Hardy9 February 2011 at 00:23

    Thanks guys and gals.....maybe now I can save enough money to join this bidding war for La Duck?
    Trouble is...I could be 95 by then and have forgotten what I wanted the money for, never mind what I was supposed to do when I got her!

    I've studied the offers, Elise, and I think Mike's is the best by far - so far! lol

    ReplyDelete
  31. Elise Cotter9 February 2011 at 09:27

    PMSFL xx

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)