Happy Friday Bollockeers !
Hope the 'Syrup' is well glued down George.....If my weather is anything to go by, then you'll be losing that lil' baby big time today !
Gale force winds here [Morning George again !] Not even my Chooks are venturing outside ....
and I see all the other Birdies flying in a most strange and erratic way........ That's ERRATIC Big Guy..... ! 
Day off today for me, from paid employment, then back to 'Rura Penthe' over the weekend
How's the 'bugs' today Big Guy ? Hope they are well and truly eradicated ? What kinda sites were you on lately huh ?!
Have a good one people, and try and keep both feet on the ground. Hopefully I won't end up in Kansas....that would REALLY screw up my weekend BIG TIME ! PMSL !
Hey Big Guy ? You gotta 'Windy' day joke in your armoury there?
X
X
Morning Elise xx,, morning all,,Yep same here been blowin all night(Morning George).....Re your Kansas reference, if you need to borrow a pair of Lil' red shoes George has a walk in wardrobe full of em!
ReplyDeleteI have an "Arse"nal of windy jokes,,and will unleash a couple later on!..
Hilary off and food shopping beckons,,,but hey it's Ftriday so alcohol will be consumed,,
Have a good un' whatever you're up to,,,
Cheers
SIPPING VODKA
A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.
The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say, "Eat me."
12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
Morning Big Guy. Nice joke....maybe I should pass the comments onto the local Priest...see if he can liven his sermons a bit ! LMAO ! Shopping, mmmmmm, not a good choice today I think. Although, definitely handy to replenish the alcohol stocks ! Always a must !
ReplyDeleteMorning John - you got any 'windy' jokes 'lurking' about ? XX
Hi all...Just come back from Beachy Head.......windy huh...damn well blew me off my feet...or did you mean this Elise....jUST LOVE IT...!!!!!I
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1Mjt9lyxlM
Bevie, Bevvy,Bevvy, Oi ! Qi ! Oi.! Where is yer lolX
Yes.....lurking again..Have a look too !!...X
Good Moaning Folks,
ReplyDeleteWhat a WINDY night that was...and stop blaming me!
Just a quickie before I head off to another appointment.
Elise referred to Kansas and (The Wiz of Oz?)
I have a feeling we have a few ' friends of Dorothy's' here.
There's a birthday on the calendar...Feb 9th. Come on guys, 'fess up.
Which of you macho Bollockeers will be celebrating your hubby's birthday?
No need to be shy - you could have put your name to it. We're a very nice bunch of people you know!
So who did it???
One thing's for sure.....
Hi John. More like this here ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhPu5AHDMHM
ReplyDeleteGeorge..errrrrrr....who posted the entry ??!! Bad day huh !? XXXXXXXXXX
Yes.!! more apt,but i do love gwtw theme..!!!
ReplyDeleteNo windy joke as yet found....!!!
For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman.
One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to
Ruin his reputation or his marriage
He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly
Have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would
also
>
provide Child support until the child turned 18. > > She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was bo> > To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and
>
> > write Spaghetti" on the back.
>
> > He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.
>
> >
>
> > One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife.
>
> > "Honey," she said, "you received a very strange post card today."
>
> > "Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later," he said.
>
> > The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned
> white,
>
> > and fainted.
>
> > On the card was written:"Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti,
>
> > Spaghetti. . .
>
> > Three with meatballs, two without.
>
> > "Send extra sauce."
>
Yes more apt.!!!,but do like the theme music from GWTW...!! x
ReplyDeleteHow touching…………..
ReplyDeleteAs I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night.
You came to me unexpectedly during the calm and balmy night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me.
You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep.
Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events.
My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you.
Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you........you f***king mosquito.!!!
Phew ! For a minute I thought you were having an Aneurism there Big Guy !!!!!! xx
ReplyDeleteLotsa wind jokes out there but I feel they are far toooooo tasteless for John! PMSL
ReplyDeleteProfound !....
ReplyDeletePMSL !!!!
ReplyDeleteLikey Phil...!!!!.....did like this vid of a farting wind up.....Sound up loud..!!!.lol
ReplyDeletehttp://www.metacafe.com/watch/1110793/fart_joke/
Still a tad windy here......
ReplyDeleteDid you know that in Malawi they are about to pass a law stating that it is illegal (minor misdemeanor) to FART in public.
ReplyDeleteThey think anyone with a problem should visit a toilet and not let it off on the street.
I tend to agree with my old aunt who used to pass wind fairly frequently accompanied by the rhyme:
Wherever you may be
Let your wind go free
In church or chapel
Let your arsehole rattle
Hi Keith. Yes, I heard about that law as well this morning. When I lived in Africa, we visited Malawi for a holiday once. The streets and towns were spotless. In those days, they would use prisoners to keep everything tidy. Don't know about now, but they definitely have some different ideas....Am liking your Aunts saying BTW ! xx
ReplyDeletesame here...!!.
ReplyDeleteSpoke to PCC,cancelling my 'skydive',& Caitlin e.mailed me back,to say if BP sorted there's another one planned in June....Ain't going to get out of it that easy,me thinks....!?.
Nice ditty that...Hi Keith..!
Here's a twister...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgPa3Z-CDCA
Elise, it twas an internal problem on laptop,& now all o.k.X
Hi John - Glad you got that sorted out at last....so now you have plenty of battery backup huh !? Great clip there. There is a series on Discovery [I think] called 'Storm Chasers'...these nut jobs are just loopy and need certified ! xx
ReplyDeleteJust back after braving the gales,,,,took the pic below outside Sainsbury's,,,,,,(Heading back with a bigger lens in a mo!!!) LOL
ReplyDeleteHi Keith,,Nice to see you out of hibernation again! love to Nette xx
Sound up,, keep pulling his finger,,,,who says we have no decorum???
ReplyDelete">
hahaha...!!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JjGd1C6E4ys
That's one way of getting the crap scared out of ya!! LMAO
ReplyDeleteGood evening guys and girls. Nice to see the sense of decorum returning!!!! I ahve been watching Phils piana video. Its fab and I think the guys here should perform in June.
ReplyDeleteAnyone watching the rugby???
Lots of love xx
Please note I have said nothing about rugby and odd shaped ...........
ReplyDeleteGeeez, you lot are terrible. I'm not around for a while and all we get is 100 FART posts!
ReplyDeleteDid you miss me and my wind problems that much????
And I blame Elise for starting this topic - We have a FRIDAY FART FEST?
And speaking of little quackers....Lil Duck?..... I don't know exactly what that whirling thingie picture you posted is......Surely not a view from an internal camera?
Did the guy know she had one inside there? I bet he's annoyed....Not exactly a flattering full frontal view is it?....or is the condom just far too long for him? LOL
And whose hubby is having a birthday on Feb 9th?
None of the guys here have confessed, So it mustn't be Phil's hubby, or John or Keith's hubby..and it ain't my hubby......
Grant and Rob are very quiet though.
Hi Bev nice to see ya awake again! LOL xx
ReplyDeleteTime we came clean George ! xx
OK Phil....
ReplyDeleteThat WAS us playing the piano!
ROFLMAO
I just knew it was you to!!
ReplyDeleteOkay, here's the thing. Chinese Year of the Rabbit. According to which web site you access, depends on what you are in the Chinese Astrological Calendar. So, it would appear, that I am a SHEEP [George?!] my element is FIRE[Y?!] and my colour is RED [danger?!]....how accurate do you all think that is !!!!!!??????
ReplyDeleteEvening Bev...I hate to say this, but you and me are the only girls that post on here. What does THAT tell you ??!!
ReplyDeletePS - you gonna uplaod a pic or avatar ? xx
Hi, I hate to think, could it be because we are the only ones that can keep these men under control!!!
ReplyDeletexx
Oi...You two......We love you woman,hic.!
ReplyDeleteElise..I'm a snake....hissssss...Element is fire & colour is red too...Best suited with Rooster or Ox....X
Bev....Have you seen Phils bit you commented on earlier...seen update.?..X
Nope ! Dream on Sister ! PMSL ! XX
ReplyDeleteJohn ? 2 outta 3 ain't bad ! xx
ReplyDeleteElise as a fiery red sheep?
ReplyDeleteI think I'm in love!
LMAO here!
....reserve judgement until June George ! xx
ReplyDelete