Happy Sunday People !!
Hope you all have very few plans today, and spend it chillin' out !
Nothing hectic on here. Sunday Roast, might then be woke up enough to do a bit of light hearted 'Pottering' in the garden......although nothing too hectic ! Can't let himself think that after 6 years here I am suddenly enthused about the Wembley sized garden we have ! No Fear Bollockeers !
If you are ever in The Emerald Isle, this might be a good start to any Sunday ??
Nice day here, so could well end up throwing kids outside and locking myself in the house ! Always the stand by option !
Whatever you are up to, keep it cool and mellow.
Enjoy people
xxxx
PS - Mike, thought you might like to see some snow, just in case !! xx
A blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.
The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only £20 each! Comes with complete instructions."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions!" The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:
1. Take a shower
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.
She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over."
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:
"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
Nothing hectic on here. Sunday Roast, might then be woke up enough to do a bit of light hearted 'Pottering' in the garden......although nothing too hectic ! Can't let himself think that after 6 years here I am suddenly enthused about the Wembley sized garden we have ! No Fear Bollockeers !
If you are ever in The Emerald Isle, this might be a good start to any Sunday ??Nice day here, so could well end up throwing kids outside and locking myself in the house ! Always the stand by option !
Whatever you are up to, keep it cool and mellow.
Enjoy people
xxxx
PS - Mike, thought you might like to see some snow, just in case !! xx
A blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs.
The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only £20 each! Comes with complete instructions."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one."
As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions!" The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.
As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly what is specified:
1. Take a shower
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very sexy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.
She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store."
So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over."
Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:
"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"
hahaha....Morning Elise x,& everyone else....see Mikes online..
ReplyDeleteIn my vain attempt to lose M.I.L. yesterday....me is thinking up another plan for today.....Lovely day here in the Suntrap of the South...& probably head for the hills later.!!...
Five people are on a plane, four guys and one girl. Suddenly the engine stalls and they crash. Miraculously all five of them survive the crash but are stranded on a small deserted island. Since these four guys will need to have their natural urges satisfied, they decided to make up a schedule. Each guy would get a week to dick the woman as much as possible, the next week another guy and so on. This arrangement works out great for years, satisfying both the guys and the nymphomaniac woman until she suddenly dies� The first month went by and it was really awful; second month was really bad; third month was almost unbearable; fourth month rolls around and the guys couldn�t handle it anymore so they buried her.!!.
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eeeeewwwww John !!!!!!!!!! You are a sad sack of puppy poo !!!!! The MIL is affecting your thinking and reasoning dude !!!!!!!! Remedial action is required ASAP !!!! See below xx
ReplyDeleteNo sign of Big Guy yet....... Am starting to get worried that Hilary has him at B&Q picking up paint !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't normally drink 'malt' during the day,but it sure looks tempting..!!!.
ReplyDeleteTo be honest M.I.L.. wil be enroute tomorrow to another daughters,so have a break...........yippee.!!!!
Here you go John, this might come in handy xx
ReplyDeleteMySpace-Countdowns
hahaha....!!!!!!!! ..x
ReplyDeleteyou gotta luv the Irish!!
Paddy rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says Paddy, 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
x
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha !
ReplyDeletehello....just seen George lurking....still no sign of Big Guy though...starting to get worried here people !!
ReplyDeleteLMAO here.
ReplyDeleteYou guys are on TOP FORM this morning.
It must be something in the water, huh?
In fact you're sooo good, I think Phil and I can just sit back and HECKLE YA!
I don't LURK : )~
ReplyDeletexxx Elise xxx
You'll be a lone heckle George [you love lurking !! ] no sign of the Capn at all so far ????? xx
ReplyDeleteMorning(Just) Bollockeers and all "Lurkalots"out there,,Late night and a late start after a "Hardy"lie in LOL
ReplyDeleteOff for a tootle to the coast to get broody watching the ships swinging at anchor waiting to enter the river Tees....
Have a good un'
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat,' agreed to look after her neighbor's house and male dog while they were away on vacation.
She had a large house however and believed that she could keep them apart but as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds, rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage as so frequently happens when they mate.
Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said. "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs."
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and be able to withdraw."
"Do you think it will work?" she asked.
"It just worked for me," he replied.
Catch ya later
Cheers
Do you think has been dragged to the depths of B/Q!!
ReplyDeleteI see ou are enjoying the visit from the MIL. Don't succumb to the booze as you could end of seeing two of her!!!
We have a sign that says friends welcome, mil by appointment!!!!
b
Morning Big Guy - I was getting worried !! Enjoy your day xx
ReplyDeleteMorning Bev - Good point about the Malt ! Saw a great car sign once, like the yellow triangle "Baby on board" but this one said "MIL in Boot" ! xx
Awww thanks for your concern Elise xx but I blame Grant and the Balvenie LOL
ReplyDeleteEarly start for George I see 1104am??? was there a mild tremor this morning in Jarrow?
Tootle time,then back for a boozy lunch,
Cya later
The earth moved...so I'm told : )~
ReplyDeleteYou still talking to yoursefl George!! PMSL
ReplyDeletehe is still asleep Big Guy......XX
ReplyDeleteGeorge ?? Nicked this off of TOPGUN for ya !! xx
ReplyDeleteBloke buys a geordie parrot,but after awhile he gets fed up of it saying...."I'm from the Toon and I'm as hard as nails".........So he puts a kestrel in the cage............Next morning the kestrel is dead and the parrot is saying,"I'm from the Toon and I'm as hard as nails"................So the bloke puts a Golden Eagle in the cage...........Next morning the bloke finds the eagle dead and the parrot with no feathers. As he looks in the cage the parrot says,"Had to take me coat off to that ba**ard.........."
I'm in trouble. Ian asked if I wanted brekki, no I said. He made a bacon sarnie and is cross 'cos I 'nicked' half!! Isn't that what us women are supposed to do!!!
ReplyDeletelol
b
ha ha ha ha ! He'll learn Bev ! xx
ReplyDeleteBev, I'm sure you can wind Ian around your little finger x
ReplyDelete--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toon supporter jokes.!!!!
Q. What's the first question during a Newcastle supporter quiz night?
A.' What you looking at'?
Q. Two Newcastle supporters in a car without any music - who is driving?
A. The Policeman
.
Q. What does a Newcastle supporter use as protection during sex?
A. Bus shelter.
Q. What does a Newcastle supporter use as a contraceptive?
...A. His personality.
Q. What do you call a 30 year old female Newcastle supporter?
A. Granny.
Q. What do you call a Newcastle supporter in a suit?
A. The defendant..
Q. What do you call a female Newcastle supporter in a white tracksuit?
A. The bride.
Q. If you are driving and you see a Newcastle supporter on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?
A. It might be your bike.
Bev...I'm sure you can wrap Ian around your little finger..x
ReplyDeleteGeordie joke....Took a few reads to sink in man...!!!!!?
Cheryl Cole goes to the hairdressers.
"Alreet, bonnie lass. What d'yee fancy the day, like?"
"I think I'd like a perm"
"Okay. 'I wandered lurnley as a clood what flurts on hay o'er hill an' vale'
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ! PMSL John XX
ReplyDeleteAt last, all balloons cut out, slave badges made, first aid kit packed. All ready for out night away......!!
ReplyDeleteDARE I ask.......
ReplyDeleteYeah I wanna know too Bev,,what are the ballons for???
ReplyDeleteAm liking the Cheryl Cole gag John!
It involved a 1lb suet pudding!
ReplyDeleteOh heck the footies started. If ar**nal use tim will be such a ray of sunshine!
???????
ReplyDeleteBev....is winding us up Phil...!!!!!!!?
ReplyDeleteThink i read somewhere there off to Norfolk for a Macmillan fundraising event.!
Is that correct Bev..!!!?
Nice one if it is !....But prefer what the others are thinking.!!..haha
I am well wound! LOL,,Suet puddings,ballooons and slave gear???sounds like my sort of party!!!
ReplyDeleteNow John I was going to see how long I could keep this going for!! You are right its for a major craft day inNorfolk in memory of a friend. The balloons are going on the books we are making and decorating. The men, are our slaves are they are in charge of tea and coffee etc. I have made them special badges. It will be a 5 hour drive for us but worth it
ReplyDeleteWhat started as a simple idea in October has escalated and we are on track to raise over a £1,000 for macmillan. What is great is we all met on a craft forum.
The suet pudding is what Ian is planning to eat the night before when some of us meet for a meal.
Nice one Bev,,hope you raise loadsa dosh!! xx
ReplyDeleteBest of luck raising lots of cash, and having a great time too ! xx PS - Is there a web link to the event that you can post for us ?? xx
ReplyDeleteYes, likewise Bev.x
ReplyDeleteoh no ar***al have lost. To make things worse ian is a spurs fan and has just told Tim its only a game!!!! Tim is not a happy bunny!!
ReplyDeleteI'll try and post the link.
Bev
The addy
ReplyDeletehttp://hugbinders.blogspot.com/
I can get it to link direct. The blog gives all the info. Thanks for your good wishes. xx
It seems its linked itself!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the link Bev.x
ReplyDeleteTell Ian,I think he has impeccable taste............but also commiserations to Tim re Arsenal.! (you keep spelling it wrong !? lol)
C.O.Y.S.
Heading to bed people. This week is crunch time, and I for one am NOT looking forward to what lies ahead. Wish me luck dudes. Back tomorrow pm, if I survive the day :-( x
ReplyDeleteBe thinking of you tomorrow Elise......All crossed & all that....I am sure that truth & honesty will win thru in the end...Be strong.my good friend..xxx
ReplyDeleteGuess you're already tucked up in bed Sweetie,
ReplyDeleteGood Luck for tomorrow,,,I'm sure things will go OK,((((((((Elise))))))))xxx
Thanks Guys. Can't sleep, so messing about. It's 0130am, and up for work 0530am. Chat soon xxxxxx
ReplyDelete