Saturday, 17 July 2010

Saturday Balls!

Good Morning/Evening weekenders,,wind seems to have eased somewhat despite the spicy Chinese we had last night.

Off to knock a few balls around with  Steven my SIL for my ritual humiliation at snooker and a coupla jars of local brew.

Like the look of Mark's "Alternate"menu for the "Do"in September, is the "Medivac"facility extra?LOL

Have a cracking weekend Bolloockeers,

Cheers

Home from the Air Force A guy who was in the Air Force had just spent a year tour unaccompanied to Shemya, Alaska. The first night he got home, he exclaimed to his wife, "Honey, I want you to know that I haven't wasted all this time alone. Instead, I've mastered the art of mind over matter. Just watch this!"

And with that he dropped his trousers and shorts and stood before her in his altogether.

"Now watch," he said. Next he said, "Dick, ten-HUT!"
And with that, his dick sprang to full erection. Then he said, "Dick, at EASE!"
And his dick deflated again.
"Wow, that was amazing," said his wife. "Do you mind if I bring our next-door neighbor over to see this? It's really something else!"
The guy responded that he didn't mind at all, since he was proud of what he had accomplished. So the wife goes next door and comes back with a delicious looking woman who got this guy's full attention! After a brief pause to take her in, he said, "Now watch this." Then he said "Dick, ten-HUT!"
And the dick sprang to life. Then it was "Dick, at EASE!"

But nothing happened. So the guy again said, "Dick, at EASE!"
But still nothing happened. So the guy now says,"For the last time, you son-of-a-bitch, I said AT EASE!!"
Still nothing. Well, the guy was embarassed and ran off to the bathroom. His wife made excuses for him and then joined her husband in the bathroom, where she found him masturbating.
"What in the world are you doing?" she asked.
The guy says, "I'm givin' this son-of-a-bitch a dishonorable discharge!"

 

 

16 comments:

  1. Good Mooning Folks,

    Here's one FOR ALL who were on the spicy nosh last night:

    This was recorded by a nurse friend of mine (thanks Elise) when Phil was in hospital having that hand job (ooops...HAND OPERATION).
    Hilary had smuggled in a curry for him the night before.

    TURN UP DA VOLUME!!!

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  2. That one was also for Mike.....He says wind is GOOOOOD! LOL

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  3. Cheers for that one George.....My 3yr old thought it was hilarious !

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  4. Hey Elise you saying we have the same sense of humour as a three year Old??? (Hmmmmm sounds about right!LOL)

    Happy Saturday Sweetie xx

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  5. Thanks Phil. Was at work, so just catching up.My 2 yr old also thinks 'the 2 fellas funny".....You gone down a level Big Guy ! x

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  6. Sheeesh you got anything younger I can drop to? LOL

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  7. Ok so now I'm a birdbrain! LOL

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  8. Hey....I never said it Big Guy ! x

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  9. Just off to kill off some"Birdbrain" cells with Gold Cuban rum,

    Have a good evening Sweetie xxx

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  10. Sounds good....Have one for me Big Guy ! Enjoy ! x

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  11. Hey Phil,

    You've never told Elise about your part time job as an entertainer, have you?
    Or does she know...and is taking the pi$$??? LMAO

    And....Folks.....he's wearing the famous green outfit you've heard so much about!



    Way to go, Big Guy! ROFLMBO

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  12. Bitch!!! LOL,,and you still look cute in pink Little guy!! LMAO

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  13. Phil, I am looking more and more like the guy in pink!
    I must have gained a stone since last time we met you and Hilary.....and it's all on my belly. Doh!

    Time for action. Can I join your dancing troupe (or am I still too skinny?) LOL

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  14. You're welcome to join us George,we are doing a Hen night at the Seaton Sluice over 60s ladies body building club on Saturday,,,,start off with a few practise moves,,,

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