Wednesday, 9 June 2010

Soggy Hump!

Good Morning/Evening Hump day Peeps,and a soggy one "Up North"it is too,,,Never fails, as soon as the sun chairs come out of the garage the season changes to Monsoon!!,,,(I may have a ritual burning!)

Steven my SIL has asked me to go fishing with him today but unless they can hook me up to to a G&T IV drip,in a heated shelter with Sky while my rod does it's own thing (Shaddup George)I won't be braving the elements!

Enjoy your Hump day Folks,and I hope your own patch is a little less soggy in your neck of the woods.

Cheers

Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the man in the Suit...


Dave: - I reckon he's an accountant.


Stuart: - No way he's a stockbroker.


Dave: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!


The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dave and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the Suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder...


Dave: - Scuse me, no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?


Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession!


Dave: - Oi! What's that then?


Suit: - I'll try to explain by example. Do you have a goldfish at home?


Dave: - Er mmm well yeah, as a matter of fact I do!


Suit: - Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?


Dave: - It's in a pond!


Suit: - Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?


Dave: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!


Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?


Dave: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house, built it myself.


Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?


Dave: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and three children.


Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?


Dave: - Yep! Four nights a week!


Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?


Dave: - Me? Never.


Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!


Dave: - How's that then?


Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!


Dave: - I see! That's pretty impressive, thanks mate!


Both leave the toilet and Dave returns to his mate.


Stuart: - I see the Suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?


Dave: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!


Stuart: - What's that then?


Dave: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?


Stuart: - Nope.


Dave: - Well then, you're a wanker!

 

5 comments:

  1. Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo FUNNY!

    Love that one, Phil.

    Hey folks, it;s a bloody awful day here too. Cuprinol Man? nope, more like the rusty Angel Of The North now.

    Dontchya just love British Summer Time? : )~

    ReplyDelete
  2. Elise posted that one above, but deleted it?
    WHY? It ain't that bad...just a tiny bit 'code' at the top, and I've made much bigger bloomers than that!

    In fact, the last bloomers I made I sent to Phil...and he's STILL wearing them : )~

    ReplyDelete
  3. MY LIVING WILL



    Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them,



    'I never want to live in a vegetative state,
    dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
    If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'



    They got up,
    unplugged the Computer,
    and threw out my wine.


    They’re such assholes

    ReplyDelete
  4. George you need to ease up on the glue sniffing,,you are still "wired"man! LOL

    ReplyDelete