Good Morning Folks
I'm just back from my monthly visit to my consultant
at the local hospice.
I tell ya, it's the best thing I ever did, asking for a referral there.
The guy is amazing, and can cut through red tape and NHS 'protocols'
like a hot knife through butter.
Don't forget, hospices are not just a last resort.
They are there for all of us fighting this damn illness.
I wish I'd thought about this years ago!
Anyway, back to silliness...
Here's an Aussie joke (not from Terry ..but from Pauline in London!)
THE POND
I'm just back from my monthly visit to my consultant
at the local hospice.
I tell ya, it's the best thing I ever did, asking for a referral there.
The guy is amazing, and can cut through red tape and NHS 'protocols'
like a hot knife through butter.
Don't forget, hospices are not just a last resort.
They are there for all of us fighting this damn illness.
I wish I'd thought about this years ago!
Anyway, back to silliness...
Here's an Aussie joke (not from Terry ..but from Pauline in London!)
THE POND
An elderly man in Queensland had owned a large property for several years. He had a pond in the next paddock, fixed up nicely - picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some mango and avocado trees.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Moral: Old men can still think fast.
The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."
Moral: Old men can still think fast.
These ones ARE from Terry:
ReplyDeleteMore musings from 'downunder':
ReplyDeleteTerry? That is brilliant!! LMAO
Another Dickhead George.......
ReplyDeleteYour old Urologist............pmsl
Big Dick, The Head Dickhead,
was the head of all the dickheads in the Dickhead Shed.
What made Big Dick so skilled and keen
at dickheadedness was to be seen.
Big Dick had a certain dickish flair,
for tugging at everyone's short and curly hair.
He never had an important specialty,
except for being a type-A personality.
His skills were near to nothing great.
He kinda looked like a backward ape,
with a necktie 20 years gone out of style,
and his middle-management bullshitty wiles;
"I'm better than any dickhead here!"
He'd proclaim everyday with a prickish sneer.
So they put him on his own cocky shelf,
where he could reign all by himself,
and every dickhead, prick or asshole-wanna-be,
would come to the Dickhead Shed just to see,
what they could achieve if they'd observe instead,
the ways and means of Big Dick, The Head Dickhead.
___
Dedicated to every single uptight, middle-management, pain in the arse
you have ever had to work with or for
John? That sums up my ex-urologist PERFECTLY!! lol
ReplyDelete