click on below.......
HAVE COME TO CONCLUSION THAT THIS YEAR.....
WELL ITS DARK, WET ,WINDY,HAILSTONES,& COLD.HERE.....
HOPE ITS BETTER WHERE YOU ARE.....KEEP WARM ALL.!!!
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Jes, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon .... every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smells like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 15 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis MI amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush.....!!!!!!"
Morning John, morning all.
ReplyDeleteSun is trying to come out, 2 C today, not expected to get much warmer, turned the heating up a little, at least the wind, here anyway, has dropped.
Wrap up warm folks if you have to go out, of to recycling shortly then B&Q.
Didn't see the funny first time, well done.
Morning John xx Good day yesterday ? Hope you both had a great time xx
ReplyDeleteMorning Chris xx Bloody 'Brass Monkey' weather here again......A fluttering of snow overnight, and bitter Northerly winds....Morning George xx.....Fire is at furnace level....kids worried that Santa's ass will get burned next week....how to explain that to a 4 & 5 year old ??!! Keep warm people xx
Good morning you good peeps : )~
ReplyDeleteBrass monkeys here too.
Hey, I was up very early today (9am) but it took me 90 mins to get my first cuppa....why????
BECAUSE I GOT HOOKED ON JOHN'S 'EYE TEST' GAME!!!
Nice one(s) John, LMAO
Elise, here's a message to your leprechauns, so worried about poor Santa's ass:
Tell them I've done that every year since I was their age, lol
Hi Elise...xx..it went very well,& shared some good memories & jokes....Val knows a few of the ladies to so yep a very good day.....free wine to...hicc.!!.
ReplyDeleteBlooming camera phone again....
George,but Santa can be naughty too...
not your legs George?......pmsl
OMG!
ReplyDeleteThe stuff of nightmares! Argggggh!
WHERE I HAVE AND HAVE NOT BEEN
ReplyDeleteAnother one from my sister.
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
But one place I don’t ever want to be is in Continent.
Elise, tell the little ones that because of ealth & safty, SANTA now wears a fireproof suit ! xx (it's better than George's answer)
ReplyDeleteHeyyyyyyyy, I thought John's Santa photo looked familiar!
ReplyDeleteLook what I found on www.doggingonthedowns.co.uk
You crafy bugger, John...you changed the face in the photo!!
Smart ass...but we gotchya!! LMAO
You rotton sod George........Val wants to know exactly what i was up to a week ago today,& also banned me from dogging on the Downs...............grrrr.
ReplyDeleteNot my local pub.........but do pop in especially this time of year......amazing.!!!!!?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1099026/Bar-wonder-bar-lights-The-pub-decked-10-000-Christmas-decorations.html
Everyone AVATARiffic XMAS..!!!!!?
I bet with all those lights, they save on heating costs !!
ReplyDeleteThat has frightened me now !
ReplyDeleteYep !.....but its a big big attraction........they have coachloads call in daily,so its sound business sense to......
ReplyDeleteMy fav fish & chip shop is opp to it......so probably pop in for a pint next time soon
...take your 'sat nav' John ! LMAO ! xx
ReplyDeleteHahaha nice one... Elise.......xx
ReplyDelete