Monday, 29 August 2011

Bank Holiday again?,,,

Bank Holiday Greetings fellow Bollockeers,,,Blue skies and sunshine up ere' to ease us into the week....

No reports of "Sheep napping"from  the Cockermouth area yesterday,, but a certain person was seen chatting up the ducks!!!!!

Have a terrific Bank Holiday and if "Duck breasts"(Morning Elise)are on the cards,,enjoy!!!,,,I'm sure Bev and Ian will be busy in her "Craft room today!!"...................................

Cheers

Newlyweds .................

A newlywed couple arrive at their honeymoon suite and prepare to have sex for the first time. As they start to settle under the covers, she tells her husband, "I've got a confession. I'm not a virgin, but I've been with only one man."

The husband thinks for a second and says, "Well it's 2010, that's not unusual for you to have had premarital sex. But can I ask who the guy was?"

She fidgets for a minute, then says, "Tiger Woods."

Her husband is surprised by this response but tells her, "Well, he's rich and talented. I can see why you wanted to sleep with him."

So they make love for the first time and when they finish he gets up and goes to the room phone. His wife rolls over and aks, "What are you doing?"

He tells her, "I'm hungry. I was gonna call room service. Do you want anything?"

"Tiger wouldn't have done," she says.

"Oh really? What would Tiger have done," he asks.

"Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a second time."

So her husband puts down the phone and gets back to bed and makes love to his wife a second time. After they finish he gets out of bed and walks to the phone again. Again his wife asks, "What are you doing?"

"Well I never called room service the first time and I'm still hungry," he replies.

"Tiger wouldn't have done that," she again tells him.

"Oh really. And what would Tiger have done?"

"Tiger would have come back to bed and made love to me a third time," she says.

So her husband goes back to bed and makes love to her for a third time. After finally finishing he rolls out of bed again and goes to the phone.

"Calling room service again?" she asks.

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods so I can find out what the par is for this fu**ing hole!!"

17 comments:

  1. love the piccie. Yep I am crafting, making christmas cards. Both my men are still in bed asleep. I am enjoying some peace and quiet!!
    May need to do some hoovering today, any tips Phil!!!

    Have a fabby day and be good! x

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  2. Morning Bev,,sure I can help with the "Dysoning",,you hold my ball and I'll show ya how!! xxx (Apparently you get nothing for a pair!!) LOL

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  3. Mornin' Good Sheeps...Ooooops...GOOD PEEPS!

    I see you've had such a LOT of fun at my expense.....I keep telling you - my sheep fetish days are a thing of the past.
    Mind you, after meeting up in Cumbria with Lynne and Colin I can tell ya, our very own B2PCa Colin is worse than I ever was!!

    Even though the venue and location for Sunday lunch was absolutely FABULOUS.....Colin rang the Lake District National Park office and ordered a sheep - to be delivered for his dessert.

    The sheep duly arrived:



    Then Colin disappeared for an hour......and even Lynne hadn't realised he'd booked a (single) room at the hotel.

    He joined us just as we were about to leave - looking very VERY sheepish.
    I gave him a card for SS Anonymous. They were a great help to me in my dark days.



    Lynne? YOU'RE A SAINT!! lol
    To both of you - THANK YOU FOR A TRULY GREAT SUNDAY! (and I was a 100 miles away from the rugrats...what joy!!) LMAO

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  4. Us have a laugh at your expense, never! It was all Phils idea!!

    Glad you had a good time.

    x

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  5. Phil, you could have got a sheep to laugh. Your challenge for the day!

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  6. Well, here's one:



    But you can tell that's one of Colin's. MY sheep were much more animated! ROFLMFAO!!!

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  7. What more can I say!!

    Missed ewe yesterday!

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  8. Hello and see you later. I have an exciting afternoon planned - I am going to be tanned by Ian....

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  9. Hello & goodbye from me.......local footie & a few surps in bar beforehand......woohoo..!!!!!

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  10. Thanks George i thought you were good at keeping secrets.Brilliant day

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  11. Evening all xx Loving the Duck piccie Big Guy ! xx No Bank Holiday here today, it was at the beginning of August for ROI. Now off work until the weekend. Busy week ahead of me now. xx

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  12. Evening Peeps,,Have a good one all! what ya busy with Elise? xx

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  13. Hiya Big Guy xx I have to get all the school stuff organized and labelled still, also sew the hems on a few pairs of trousers. BUT my sewing machine is banjaxed..... Small fella starting play school. I have a tractor birthday cake to make for Thursday, a wedding Friday, AND everything else that needs doing ! easy ! xx

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  14. Hey Big Guy !! How did you guess my new name ??!! xx

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  15. PMSL !! You are very good tonight ! Off to bed now. Not back at work until the weekend ! YEAH !!!!!!! xx Catch you in the morning xx GOOD LUCK TOMORROW JOHN ! XXXXX

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