Cya!!

Good Morning/Evening Sunbeams,,Just a quickie(Shaddup George)as I'm off to load the car with everything including the kitchen sink, as we head off down sarf'to Brighton to see Gemma.

Heading back Monday to find out what you've been up to in my absence,,whatever you do have fun!

Cya

Cheers

A clean one to set the tone!!......

Firing squad

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.

Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.

The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"

 

 

AN IMPORTANT SAFETY MESSAGE....

An important safety message.........

The older you get,the more important it is to protect your nose from the sun...

 

 

Claggy Tuesday

Good Morning/Evening Tuesday Peeps,Claggy sorta day here cloudy and humid after mega rain overnight.

Heading down to Brighton tomorrow to see Gemma our youngest for a long weekend, back Monday PM as I have my three monthly head Onco appointment on the Tuesday,

Not allowed to take my laptopso make sure you all behave(Yeah right!!!! LOL)I'm sure George will keep the tone here at it's usual lofty level in my absence!!

Have a Great Tuesday!

Cheers

Jurmp

Two French paratroopers were seconded to the British Parachute Regiment for special training.

After the first day they met up in the bar. "Ah, Pierre," asks one, "'ow 'av you been doing?"

"Merde!" answers Pierre. "I 'av 'ad ze most terrible day. Terrible! At seex zis morning I was woken by zis beeg 'airy sergeant. 'E dragged me out of bed and onto ze parade ground."

"And zen what 'appened?" enquired his mate.

"I will tell you what 'appened! 'E made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform five ft off ze ground and zen 'e said "Jurmp!"

"And did you jurmp?" asks his mate.

"I did not. I told 'im ... 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp five feet. Eet is beneath my dignity."

"And zen what 'appened?"

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis seely leetle platform ten feet off ze ground, and 'e said "Jurmp."

"And did you jurmp?"

"I did not. I told 'im ... 'I am a French paratrooper. I do not jurmp ten feet. Eet is beneath my dignity'."

"What 'appened zen?" asks his mate.

"Zen 'e made me climb urp zis rickety platform un'undred feet above ze parade ground. 'E undid 'is trousers, took out zis enormous weely and 'e said 'If you do not jurmp, I am going to steek zis right urp your burm!'"

"Sacre Bleu, mon ami" says his mate. "And did you jurmp?"

"A leetle, at ze beginning."

 

 

Monday Gloom

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Despite the blue sky and sunshine a cloud of gloom hangs over England after Germany not only beat us at foorball but the Grand Prix as well with Vettel winning and Lewis and Jensen 2nd and third!

As Scots Andy Murray is still in the fray at Wimbledon I'm going more cosmopolitan today and am a "Brit"until he gets knocked out!

Enjoy the sunshine and have a good week once we get Monday out of the way!

Cheers

Two A**eholes

Paddy, Mick and Seamus are walking down the road when Seamus is hit by a bus. A little while later Paddy and Mick are taken to the morgue and asked to identify their friend. Paddy goes in first and stares at Seamus' face for a few minutes. He says "Yes that's certainly Seamus, but could you turn him over so I can be sure?".

 The morgue attendant is a bit perplexed, but he does what Paddy asks. Paddy then stares closely at Seamus' a**e for a few minutes. The attendant asks if there is anything wrong, and Paddy looks a bit confused and leaves. The attendant is now worried, so he asks Mick to confirm the identification. Mick sees Seamus' face and immediately identifies him, but then he also asks the attendant to turn him onto his front.

The attendant again does as he asks, and waits while Mick has a good look at his late friend's a**e. Finally he confirms that it is Seamus, and starts to leave with a confused look on his face. The two are about to leave when the attendant stops them and says he just has to ask them what that was about, with them both asking to see their friends arrse. Paddy answers..

 "Well, we were just a bit curious really. See, whenever we were out with Seamus people used to call out 'here comes Seamus with the two a**seholes'"

 

Da Party's Over

WELCOME BACK BILL

WELCOME BACK BILL
(WILLIE 33)
(Naiplan on the PCC site)

To
This Haven
 of
WINE,
WILD WIMMIN
&
SONG

Make sure you turn up your volume
 - LOUD -
for this one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RY0jeTTfSns

Greetings from afar

Hi Everyone,

Thanks to George I have finally cracked this Multiply setup. I was on the original set up list but never managed to be able to sign on until today. Sorry to hear about our friends who have gone on to new pastures but to those of us who are still fighting it's still the same B2PCA.

I am just off up the road for my couple of litres of Chang beer at 6.4 degrees so reasonably strong and 3 litres is talking chocolate material.

My latest results are extremely promising PSA down to 0.4 from 4 a month ago. Downside is back on the Zoladex after having been off for a couple of years.

That's all for the moment. Will get into this later. Stay well people. Bill Hunter in sunny Thailand 

What a Bang!!

Good Morning/Evening my pious Sunday Chums and Chumettes,Coo we had some thunderstorm last night,Helluva bang(Shaddup George) round 10pm that rattled the ice in me G and T!!

Bright and sunny for "Sporting Sunday"Grand Prix,World cup and Wimbledon,............

Hilary's laryngitis still affecting her so another quiet day instore!LOL

Have a cracking Sunday!

Cheers

Hey I found a clean one!!!!....

Three men - a Canadian farmer, Osama bin Laden and a 
 Biker Dude are all walking together one day.
 
They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it.
 
'I will give each of you one wish, which is three wishes in total', 
 says the Genie.
 
The Canadian says, 'I am a farmer and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada '
 
POOF! With the blink of the Genie's eye, the land in Canada was forever fertile for farming.
 
Osama was amazed, so he said, 'I want a wall around Afghanistan , Palestine , Iraq and Iran so that no infidels, Americans or Canadians can come into our precious land.'
 
POOF! Again, with the blink of the Genie's eye, there was a huge wall around those countries.
 
The Biker says, 'I am very curious. Please tell me more about this wall.'
 
The Genie explains, 'Well, it's about 5,000 feet high, 5oo feet thick and completely surrounds the country. Nothing can get in or out; it's virtually impenetrable.'
 
 The Biker sits down on his Harley, cracks a beer, lites a cigar, smiles and says, 
 'Fill it with water.' 

Make sure its your mobile.wmv

Good Vibrations From Alex

I was lying on the Beach when!!!!!.wmv

Saturday sun...

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps on a fine and sunny morning here in North Yorkshire,,,I've gone pink today to show my support for the Gay Pride march in Jarrow this afternoon,they normally stop for a cuppa at George's who is so in touch with his feminine side,

Grand Prix from Valencia today and tomorrow for me and a sunny swing session in me ammock' in the garden with a glass or three of firewater 

Enjoy the sunshine and have a great weekend!

Cheers

THE VIBRATOR

AS A WOMAN PASSES HER DAUGHTER'S CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR, SHE HEARD A STRANGE BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM WITHIN. OPENING THE DOOR, SHE OBSERVED HER DAUGHTER GIVING HERSELF A REAL WORKOUT WITH A VIBRATOR.

SHOCKED, SHE ASKED: 'WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING?'

THE DAUGHTER REPLIED: 'MOM, I'M THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD, UNMARRIED,AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.'

THE NEXT DAY, THE GIRL'S FATHER HEARD THE SAME BUZZ COMING FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE CLOSED BEDROOM DOOR. UPON ENTERING THE ROOM, HE OBSERVED HIS DAUGHTER MAKING PASSIONATE LOVE TO HER VIBRATOR.

TO HIS QUERY AS TO WHAT SHE WAS DOING, THE DAUGHTER SAID: 'DAD I'M THIRTY-FIVE, UNMARRIED, AND THIS THING IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS I'LL EVER GET TO A HUSBAND. PLEASE, GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE.'

A COUPLE DAYS LATER, THE WIFE CAME HOME FROM A SHOPPING TRIP, PLACED THE GROCERIES ON THE KITCHEN COUNTER, AND HEARD THAT BUZZING NOISE COMING FROM, OF ALL PLACES, THE LIVING ROOM. SHE ENTERED THAT AREA AND OBSERVED HER HUSBAND SITTING ON THE COUCH, DOWNING A COLD BEER, AND STARING AT THE TV. THE VIBRATOR WAS NEXT TO HIM ON THE COUCH, BUZZING LIKE CRAZY.

THE WIFE ASKED: 'WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?'

THE HUSBAND REPLIED: 'I'M WATCHING RUGBY WITH MY SON-IN-LAW.

 

 

 

Fridaaaaay Late..

Good Morning/Evening Friday Peeps,late posting as I was still tweaking my puter,(Well they can't arrest ya for it!)after de Trojaning,

Not a bad start to the day, warm and cloudy but hey it's Fridaaaaaaaaay so who cares,,off to restock the firewater war chest for a weekend of sport including the Grand Prix from Valencia(Sorry George)

Enjoy your Friday and I hope you are all set fair for a cracking weekend

Cheers

No knickers

Police officers George and Mary, had been assigned to walk the beat. They had only been out a short while when Mary said, "Damn, I was running late this morning after my workout. Got showered but forgot to put my knickers on! We have to go back to the station to get them."

George replied, "We don't have to go back, just call the K-9 unit, his dog Rover needs only one sniff and he will go fetch them for you."

It was a hot day and Mary didn't feel like heading back to the station. The K-9 unit arrives, so she lifts her skirt and Rover's nose shoots between her legs, sniffing and snorting. After 10 seconds his ears pick up, he tests the wind and he is off in a flash towards the nick.

Five minutes go by and no sign of Rover. Ten minutes pass and the dog is nowhere to be seen. Fifteen minutes pass and they are starting to worry.

Twenty minutes pass and they hear sirens in the distance. The sirens get louder and louder. Suddenly, followed by a dozen police cars, Rover rounds the corner with the Station Sergeant's balls in his mouth.