Phillipines expedition?

Good Morning/Evening Monday Peeps,Grey start to the week but should brighten as we head towards Don's Birthday/Retirement bash at the weekend.

Still some places left on my luxury transporter,,(thunderbox provided to rear incase of emergency)the aim is to reach the Phillipines by the weekend to join in the celebrations,,however if we make Dover we may settle for a night of debauch at the Travelodge!

I have approached Jane Plant to accompany us to look after our dietary needs, but to date have had no response.

Have a good week Fffolks,

Cheers

-------------------------
Old Cowboy
-------------------------

An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy..'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?' He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

Sunday Moan?

Good Morning/Evening my pious Sunday Chums and Chumettes.I see George is on top "Moan form"as usual as he STILL is having  probs postingl,I think when MSN closed and we were  looking for an alternative we both heard the call,,,"Go forth and Multiply",,but in this instance I believe iit was directed at George!LOL

Bright and breezy here which may come in handy as last night when I perhaps was geting too frisky,Hilary told me to "Go fly a kite!

Hope you are all in for a relaxing Sunday apart from George who I am sure will be deconstructing his puter trying to solve his problem!........................................

Cheers

Keep this in mind when you have something to return and the store gives you a hard time -

A woman went to a K-Mart service counter and told the clerk she wanted a refund for the toaster she bought because it won't work. The clerk told her that he can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Suddenly, the woman threw her arms up in the air and started screaming,

'RUB MY NIPPLES, RUB MY NIPPLES, RUB MY NIPPLES!'

The befuddled clerk ran away to get the store manager In front of a growing crowd of customers.

The manager comes to the woman and asks, 'Ma'am what's wrong?' She explained the problem with the toaster, and he also told her that He can't give her a refund because she bought it on special.

Once again, the woman throws her arms up in the air and screamed,

'RUB MY NIPPLES, RUB MY NIPPLES, RUB MY NIPPLES!' And doing so draws an even bigger crowd!

In shock, the store manager pleads, 'Ma'am, why are you saying that?'

In a huff, the woman says,

'BECAUSE, I LIKE TO HAVE MY NIPPLES RUBBED WHEN I'M BEING SCREWED!'

The crowd broke into applause and her money was quickly refunded!!

 

 

 

Hello Hello... Sunday and Summer is over!

WHAT BLOODY SUMMER? (now that was mild moan)

BUT.......especially for Mike ~
A REALLY GOOD MOAN.........


WHY THE F**K CAN I ONLY TYPE PLAIN TEXT AGAIN?

NO PICS, NO CHOICE OF FONTS, NO SIZES, NO COLOURS.

SO MUCH FOR FRIGGIN' FIREFOX!

ARGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!


And Sunderland lost at Birmingham too.

I'm going back to bed.

Have a better day folks! : )~

Samantha HAS BEEN FOUND - On Tyneside (I told ya so!!)

Twitchers flock to Shields to see rare bird’

Published Date:
23 October 2009


By Verity Ward



A TWITCHER told today how he scored the "equivalent of the winning the World Cup" when he became the first person in Britain to spot a rare bird.
Dad-of-two Dougie Holden spent his 26th wedding anniversary at Trow Quarry in South Shields yesterday on the off-chance he would spot a rare bird.

Dark Saturday.

Good Morning/Evening weekenders,Sooo bloomin dark this morning I had to coax my pussy into action and convince her it was morning!

Tootling over the moors for my monthly crabbing expedition,and may call in at the "Dracula experience"to say Hi to George's Ma in law who he left during their last visit(After accepting a two figure sum for her)and is still scaring the kids today.

Have a great weekend Folks,

Cheers,........

A bloke is walking around his local super market when he notices a young lady giving him the eye. A minute later he notices her looking again and he asks her if she knows him? She replies I think you’re the father of one of my children. After a deep thought he asks her if she was the hooker that he shagged in the carpark, a few years ago while she was giving his mate a blow job? She replied no I’m a teacher and I think your daughter is in my class.

Back Home

Hi Everyone,

Back home after visit to see my son in Hong Kong.

Good to see little has changed:-

Economy still in a mess.

Raining and windy.

George moaning.

So GOOD to be back home.

Mike

 

Friday: bushes, monkeys, pc secutirty systems

G'day Good Peeps (and Phil)

McAfee took over my 'puter for almost 3 hours dammit. Guess I'll pick another security system next year when the subscription is due.

I have nothing as exciting as Phil's bush trimming expoits to report, but I do take exception to the rest of us being referred to as 'Jaded Old Farts' Oh Yeahhhhhhhhhh?????