Unsporting Sunday

Still sulking....

lol

 

Duh!

Sporting Sunday.

Good Morning/Evening fellow toned athletes!Just completed my pre marathon warm up(Bacon butty and a mug of coffee)and what great weather for it(The marathon not the bacon butty!!).

May have a jog to the car in the spirit of things before settling down for the Bahrain Gran Prix.

Enjoy the sunshine and have a Great day,

Cheers

I think you all deserve a Sunday Groaner!!!.......................

JUSTIN & CHRISTIAN ...

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea. One called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, 'I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten.' A large mysterious cod appeared and said, 'Your wish is granted' Lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back and lo & behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends in the Shrimp & Anchor pub and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. 'Where's Christian?' he asked. 'He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark', came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate, memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, 'It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again.' Christian replied, 'No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner.' Justin cried back 'No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed.' (You're going to love this)

"I'm a Prawn again Christian!"..

SATURDAY: BLUNDERLAND

OMG!

WBA 3 SUNDERLAND 0

 

Saturday Peace?

G'd Moaning All,

Ain't no peace for a guy whenever there is a woman and cans of paint in the house, believe me!

Tell you what, Phil, get those 'sample' pots used quickly for your own artistic pleasure:

 

London Marathon fast approaching....GOOD LUCK SARAH et AL.

(WTF is AL?)

 

 

 

Saturday Peace.

Good Morning/Evening weekenders,Sunny start to the day here and looks like being good weather tomorrow for the London Marathon......Good luck Sarah and any Bollockeers partaking.

Survived the DIY store visit with just the purchase of three sample pots of paint.,,but despite my frequent"That looks better already" comments about the three bright paint splodges on the bathroom wall Hilary is not yet swayed and I fear bigger cans of paint will soon be on the shopping list!

Hilary out for the day with Sherri so Philip can chill and watch the Grand Prix qually in peace!

Have a good un'

Cheers

CRUISE TRIP DIARY

DEAR DIARY- DAY ONE I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and make-up. I'm really excited.

DEAR DIARY - DAY TWO We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain Kenny today and he seems like a very nice man.

DEAR DIARY - DAY THREE I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.

DEAR DIARY - DAY FOUR Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have the dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could, I hardly knew him.

DEAR DIARY - DAY FIVE Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside. The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't let him have his way with me he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

DEAR DIARY - DAY SIX I saved 1600 lives today. Twice!!

 

 

Friday Toilet fun!

Mornin'/Evenin' all,

My toilet seat ministrations to stop "the sidesaddle swivel"upon seating failed miserably as I cracked the seat fixing bolt!,,so off to find a bog seat fixing or  suitable replacement  for her Ladyship's derriere! 

Always a danger with Hilary accompanying me to the DIY store that she starts picking paint!!danger lurks round every aisle with all the wallpaper fixtures and fittings!!AND garden stuff.

Wish me luck on my mission and fingers crossed NO further DIY jobs result!

Hope you have a DIY free weekend,Enjoy.

Cheers

Alaska Joke

Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so, of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man standing there. "Name's Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a hristmas party Friday night... Thought you might like to come. About 5.00?" "Great", says Tom, "after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you." As Lars is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you......be some drinkin'." "Not a problem" says Tom. "After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em." Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too." "Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right. I'll be there. Thanks again." "More'n likely be some wild sex, too," "Now that's really not a problem" says Tom, warming to the idea "I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?" "Don't much matter ..... Just gonna be the two of us."

St Geordie's day?

Happy Saint Geordie's day back at ya George,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Cartoon showing the Big Market(Area of pubs and clubs in Newcastle)on the coldest Saturday night of the year!!!