Boozy Sunday :)

Good Morning/Evening post Saturday revellers,,cool and grey so no bright sunshine to irritate my fragile eyeballs!

Free bar on at the wedding bash last night till Midninght so I'm expecting lots of incriminating photos to appear today when the Thommo Clan meet up again at a country pub for Sunday lunch..when I got out of the taxi back home in the early hours Hilary pointed out that I was wearing a fascinator and a large hoop fluorescent earing?.."I know"I lied! LOL

New commemorative stamps.....

Off to see if a bacon buttie will gather my remaining brain cells together,,Catch ya later

Enjoy your Sunday Fffffffffffffolks,,

Cheers

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea. When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.

 "What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.

 "A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants"

 

 

Saturday grey...

Good Morning/Evening Saturday Peeps,,,After a coupla glorious warm sunny days back to grey and cooler,was that the Summer?

Family stuff today,,Gemma and her boyfriend up from Brighton,Stevens son Tom over from Oz and were all supposed to be heading to a wedding bash tonight,,,so a running round day ahead as the women all get their hair done,,,,shopping,,and other equally exciting stuff!.....

Enjoy your Saturday Bollockeers and have a cracking weekend!

Cheers

Pinocchio had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex.

Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try rubbing a little sandpaper on his wooden member, and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.

 A couple of weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him;

"How's the girlfriend?"

Pinocchio replied; "Who needs a girlfriend?"

 

Keith's workoutbra.wmv

Courtesy of Keith

Friday Hottie...........

Good Morning/Evening Fellow Friday Frolickers,,,,Nuther cracking morning here and set to be another "Hottie"

Heading out to the Moors for a bit of peace and quiet and soak up some rays,,maybe take a pocketful of "Sheep treats"to trade with the natives!!(Morning George)

 

Have a Ffffffab Fffffriday and enjoy that sun!

 

 

Cheers

Cute one.....................

 

A FARMER DECIDED HE WANTED TO GO TO TOWN AND SEE A MOVIE. THE TICKET AGENT ASKED, "SIR, WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR SHOULDER?"

THE OLD FARMER SAID, "THAT'S MY PET ROOSTER CHUCK. WHEREVER I GO, CHUCK GOES." "I'M SORRY SIR," SAID THE TICKET AGENT. "WE CAN'T ALLOW ANIMALS IN THE THEATER."

THE OLD FARMER WENT AROUND THE CORNER AND STUFFED CHUCK DOWN HIS OVERALLS. THEN HE RETURNED TO THE BOOTH, BOUGHT A TICKET, AND ENTERED THE THEATER.

HE SAT DOWN NEXT TO TWO OLD WIDOWS NAMED MILDRED AND MARGE.

THE MOVIE STARTED AND THE ROOSTER B EGAN TO SQUIRM. THE OLD FARMER

UNBUTTONED HIS FLY SO CHUCK COULD STICK HIS HEAD OUT AND WATCH THE MOVIE.

"MARGE," WHISPERED MILDRED.

"WHAT?" SAID MARGE.

"I THINK THE GUY NEXT TO ME IS A PERVERT."

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SO?" ASKED MARGE?

"HE UNDID HIS PANTS AND HE HAS HIS THING OUT," WHISPERED MILDRED.

"WELL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT," SAID MARGE. "AT OUR AGE WE'VE SEEN 'EM ALL."

"I THOUGHT SO TOO," SAID MILDRED, "BUT THIS ONE'S EATIN' MY POPCORN!

Thursday Summer....

Good Morning/Evening Thursday Peeps,..Lookls like we have a coupla Summery days ahead with blue skies and "Warm"sunshine!!

 

Time to get the bod wheeled out in the garden to get some colour beofre the MOS,,although I'm sure the Balvenie will provide all the colour I need!LOL

 

Off for a PSA test and start back short term on Zoly and Casodex to try and curb my PSA rise,(,was 331 5weeks ago so interesting to see where it's at now)....Over 4 years now since I became HR and the thought is that my bod may now be receptive once more (Shaddup George) until I get started on the elusive Abiraterone,,,,now been told 4 weeks,,,although should be sooner as things seems to be getting sorted at out my hospital to rectify my Onco's cockup delaying my start!

 

Enjoy the "Summery weather"whilst it's here and have a cracking day

 

One way of protecting your nose from sunburn!!

Cheers

 

Nelson at Trafalgar 2011.............

 

Nelson aka Capn Phil

 

Hardy aka George

Nelson : "Order the signal, Hardy."

Hardy: "Aye, aye sir."

Nelson: "Hold on, this isn't what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?"

Hardy: "Sorry sir?"

Nelson (reading aloud): "England expects every person to do his or her duty, regardless of race, gender, sexual orientation, religious persuasion or disability.' - What gobbledygook is this for God's sake?"

Hardy: "Admiralty policy, I'm afraid, sir. We're an equal opportunities employer now. We had the devil's own job getting " England" past the censors, lest it be considered racist."

Nelson: "Gadzooks, Hardy. Hand me my pipe and tobacco."

Hardy: "Sorry sir. All naval vessels have now been designated smoke-free working environments."

Nelson: "In that case, break open the rum ration. Let us splice the main brace to steel the men before battle."

Hardy: "The rum ration has been abolished, Admiral. Its part of the Government's policy on binge drinking."

Nelson: "Good heavens, Hardy. I suppose we'd better get on with it full speed ahead."

Hardy: "I think you'll find that there's a 4 knot speed limit in this stretch of water."

Nelson: "Damn it man! We are on the eve of the greatest sea battle in history. We must advance with all dispatch. Report from the crow's nest, please."

Hardy: "That won't be possible, sir."

Nelson: "What?"

Hardy: "Health and Safety have closed the crow's nest, sir. No harness; and they said that rope ladders don't meet regulations. They won't let anyone up there until proper scaffolding can be erected."

Nelson: "Then get me the ship's carpenter without delay, Hardy."

Hardy: "He's busy knocking up a wheelchair access to the foredeck Admiral."

Nelson: "Wheelchair access? I've never heard anything so absurd.."

Hardy: "Health and safety again, sir. We have to provide a barrier- free environment for the differently abled."

Nelson: "Differently abled? I've only one arm and one eye and I refuse even to hear mention of the word. I didn't rise to the rank of admiral by playing the disability card."

Hardy: "Actually, sir, you did. The Royal Navy is under- represented in the areas of visual impairment and limb deficiency."

Nelson: "Whatever next? Give me full sail. The salt spray beckons."

Hardy: "A couple of problems there too, sir. Health and safety won't let the crew up the rigging without hard hats. And they don't want anyone breathing in too much salt - haven't you seen the adverts?"

Nelson: "I've never heard such infamy. Break out the cannon and tell the men to stand by to engage the enemy."

Hardy: "The men are a bit worried about shooting at anyone, Admiral."

Nelson: "What? This is mutiny!"

Hardy: "It's not that, sir. It's just that they're afraid of being charged with murder if they actually kill anyone. There are a couple of legal-aid lawyers on board, watching everyone like hawks."

Nelson: "Then how are we to sink the Frenchies and the Spanish?"

Hardy: "Actually, sir, we're not."

Nelson: "We're not?"

Hardy: "No, sir. The French and the Spanish are our European partners now. According to the Common Fisheries Policy, we shouldn't even be in this stretch of water. We could get hit with a claim for compensation."

Nelson: "But you must hate a Frenchman as you hate the devil."

Hardy: "I wouldn't let the ship's diversity coordinator hear you saying that sir. You'll be up on disciplinary report."

Nelson: "You must consider every man an enemy, who speaks ill of your King."

Hardy: "Not any more, sir. We must be inclusive in this multicultural age. Now put on your Kevlar vest; it's the rules. It could save your life"

Nelson: "Don't tell me - Health and Safety. Whatever happened to rum, sodomy and the lash?"

Hardy: As I explained, sir, rum is off the menu! And there's a ban on corporal punishment."

Nelson: "What about sodomy?"

Hardy: "I believe that is now legal, sir."

Nelson: "In that case................... Kiss me Hardy"

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLLEEN !!!!! [eventually ! xx]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLLEEN !!!!!!

Hope you are having a wonderful day....good thing you are about 5 hours behind us.....you would be waiting a long time for the Guys !

With lots of love and hugz from
Lil' Duck...and the other VERY SLOW Bollockeers !!!
XX

Happy June...

Good Morning/Evening Fellow Humpsters and a very Happy June Ist,,,warmer today and looks like were in for a coupla "Summery days"(Could mean anything!LOL)

Good luck with da bone scan George,hope they find nothing except,,,well,,, bones!

For the rest of the Bollockeers enjoy your 1st day of Summer and have a GREAT June!!!

Cheers,

In a Chicago hospital, a gentleman had made several attempts to get into the men's restroom, but it had always been occupied.

 A nurse noticed his predicament. Sir, she said "You may use the ladies room if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall." He did what he needed to, and as he sat there he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch.

 Each button was identified by letters: WW, WA, PP, and a red one labeled ATR. Who would know if he touched them? He couldn't resist.. He pushed WW. warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. What a nice feeling, he thought. Men restrooms don't have nice things like this. Anticipating greater pleasure, he pushed the WA button. Warm air replaced the warm water, gently drying his underside. When this stopped, he pushed the PP button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom adding a fragile scent of spring flower to this unbelievable pleasure.. The ladies restroom was more than a restroom, it is tender loving pleasure. When the powder puff completed its pleasure, he couldn't wait to push the ATR button which he knew would be supreme ecstasy...............

 Next thing he knew he opened his eyes, he was in a hospital bed, and a nurse was staring down at him. "What happened?" he exclaimed. The last thing I remember was pushing the ATR button.

 "The button ATR is an Automatic Tampon Remover. Your penis is under your pillow.

" MEN NEVER LISTEN!"